I can’t remember who told me about PostSecret but it’s become one of my favorite blogs. Each entry consists of a postcard that someone sent the curator to post. They are beautiful postcards with intriguing confessions.
post secret
danah boyd | apophenia
making connections where none previously existed
Happy Father’s Day, dad.
I love you.
Even though I can barely tell you.
And suddenly…
I’m all alone.
I masturbated while reading these.
I wish I was gay so I would fit in with my friends.
If someone asks me to have sex with them, I’ll say yes because I don’t want to be a virgin anymore.
Also, My family thinks I’m the “smart one”, when I’m really failing science. I know that if I do my parents are going to think I’m turning into my older sister, whom I hate. I love science (it’s my second favorite subject), but I’m too lazy to do any homework and I’m addicted to the internet. I don’t want to tell my bestfriend about my marks because she’ll think she’s smarter then me, and I hate that more then words can say.
I know telling my good friend that she will make a great Doctor is hurting her, because I think she thinks everyone expects her to be perfect in school. When she gets below a 80, she cries. I think it’s because she thinks she’s letting us all down. I want to tell her that she is one of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever seen, and she doesn’t need to be perfect, but it never seems to be a good time.
If I have to travel with my brother, sister in-law and their 3 obnoxious as fuck rambunctious kids, I don’t know how I will get through that trip.
I know it sounds bad because it’s my family, but I really hate kids and can’t take it.
I really am proud of you. I want you to know that.
But joining the Air Force was the scariest thing you could have done, for both of us. They don’t like our kind.
Please be safe. Please be careful. Please let the next four years pass so fast…
I’m scared of what I am.
I’m scared of what I’ll become.
But I’m terrified of what I’ve been.
I’ve been ignoring my ‘boyfriend’ since he returned home from his vacation.
He is now posted as single and I’m off his top 8 on myspace. I think he knows we’re finished.
I just wish I had the courage to tell him that myself.
It’s over.
I miss you so much. 6 months has gone so fast. I wish you were here.
i laugh at these daily.
Just when I think a guy is the last thing I want…
He comes along and confuses me.
It’s sad, cause no one posts here anymore.
Sometimes I come here, hoping and hoping that someone else has something that they want to admit to, but… almost never am I granted that.
It’s a sad sad fact.
Good bye.
I’m resolving to never visit this website again.
Once more, something has disappointed me.
Catherine.
This website, blog, whatever it is, was a place of refuge for me. The reason the active posters stop, is because they no longer need it.
I include myself in that. I no longer need a place to go to vent my feelings. I met an amazing guy, and he makes everything so much better. I tend to go to him first before going anywhere else.
But, Catherine, if you need this board, use it.
I did, for a very long time, religiously. I’ll probably come back more than once. When no one was posting, I posted, when someone needed help, I tried to help.
Olivia did it, I did it, now its your turn.
I thought breaking up with him would make everything better. He still isn’t over it. I just wish he would kill himself.
for the last four years, I walked my path along your side. Now we have made the decision to seal our paths together forever through marriage.
Now more than ever, I wish I could walk my path alone for a while.
I’m sorry.
I do love you.
for the last four years, I walked my path along your side. Now we have made the decision to seal our paths together forever through marriage.
Now more than ever, I wish I could walk my path alone for a while.
I’m sorry.
I do love you.
I don’t know what to do.
jmm: three years ago, I never realised what a good friend you were. A year ago, you left us for a better place. 11 months ago, I would have seen you for the first time in three years.
I wish you were still here. I think my life would be much different if you were… maybe I would be happier… you always made me smile. I miss you so much, I’m sorry we never kept in touch like we should have.
Rest in peace, you are always in my heart.
I broke up with him right before school ended, LAST YEAR. I wanted to be “free” for summer. Now it’s summer and all I want is to spend my time with him. He’s with her now and doesn’t know I still love him.
people constantly tell me that im gorgeous hot sweet whatever…etc etc
but when i look in the mirror its all i can do not to cry…
all i see is an overweight cow
The only reason I go to church
is for the socialization.
Not the religion.
when my friends tell me about their problems;
i pretend to care
and comfort them;
but in all reality
i couldnt give a shit.
why do they keep coming to me for advice?
Anonymous,
I feel the exact same way. Well, mostly. I’m an extremely broken person who is experiencing the same problems my friends are.
The only difference is I don’t tell anyone. So when they come to me for advice I feel as though I’m cheating them.
Because I’m giving them advice that I can’t do myself and expect them to be able to.
The worst part, it works for them.
Catherine,
I’m glad you came back. It’s nice to see your name up here. I’ll be around if you ever need anything.
Everyone else, I’ll try to show up as much as often since your all near and dear to my heart. I care about every single one of you immensely.
i started cutting in fourth grade.
it carried on until sixth grade.
i started because i hated my dad.
i ended because i still hated him.
i wanted to prove to myself i was stronger.
now, i’m in seventh grade.
we’re still not too close.
but i don’t hate him anymore.
and i am indeed way stronger.
i met a guy on the internet.
he was seventeen.
i am twelve.
he lived in florida.
i live in california.
we started talking on the phone daily.
for hours.
his dad died when he was seven.
right in front on him by a gunshot.
his uncle is in jail for attempting to rob a bank.
he didn’t really talk to his mom.
he got his girlfriend pregnant.
the same time they lost their virginity.
he died of a stomach disease.
his girlfriend is six months pregnant.
she ran away because her parents threatened to sue her if she wouldn’t come home.
she didn’t go, because her dad abuses her.
i don’t go a single say without praying for them.
and my parents have not even the slightest idea.
Voice_box_on_mute.
I see me in you. And you are much stronger than i could ever be.
I like to know other peoples problems like all the postsecrets..
But I don’t know why.
I don’t even know why i’m writing this.
I want a postsecret book.
But i dont want my family to know.
I hide loads of things from my family.
And i wish i could stop.
I cant.
Tim. My boyfriend.
My ex, Rad, made me feel like the ‘man’ in the relationship. He was a druggy and a drinker and I felt like I was babysitting him.
My ex, Mo, made me want to die everytime he spoke. He was never funny, and he dressed terribly.
Tim.
Makes me feel like a GIRL.
Tells me he likes me every chance he gets, so I don’t ‘forget’.
Tells me I’m cute when everyone else thinks I’m annoying.
Holds my hand every chance he gets.
Treats me well.
He’s 17, I’m 15.
He a Senior, I’m but a Junior.
He goes to RB, I go to LT.
And for the first time, I’m not thinking about how I’m going to break up. For the first time, I’m not worried about the future with him.
I thought I was broken.
I thought I had a problem.
Turns out, I just needed the right guy.
Thank you.
Catherine F.:
wow. I could have written that post myself about three years ago. Then I moved and there really was no one I wanted to associate with in my new church. I don’t go to church anymore.
wow. I’m shallow, and quite pathetic.
*I tried, and cried, but God never listened. My impatience is what will send me to hell!*
sometimes when i see him, i wonder if he remembers raping me…
Tim is everything I could hope for.
Except, I don’t feel the same when I kiss him, as when I missed my ex.
Is there something wrong with me?
I don’t want to lose Tim over such a silly thing, because he’s really the best I’ve had.
I really like him.
But I’m worried that no feeling anything when we kiss, is a bad sign for our further relationship…
Help!
Cathrine-
At least you didn’t tell your boyfriend that if he’s shorter than you, you would break up with him.
There is nothing wrong with you. You just have to figure out how to spice it up. 🙂
My friends and I are in the middle of a huge brawl.
I don’t have time to talk about it now, and that upsets me cause I need to say something about it.
Lest I explode at them again.
I hate my uncontrollable temper.
I havnt burst into tears and ranted about whats wrong in over a year. my friends havent given a damn, and i feel like i dont know them anymore, im blaming them for never asking when i shouldve just told.
sometimes i wish he would break it off so i could cry and people would know i was miserable without me having to explain it. But I know if he did end what we have, it would never be worth it.
i hate how none of this music evokes any fucking feeling in me anymore.
im certainly not completely numb, so whats the deal?
i cant even fucking say my real secret, for fear of being judged over the net!
WHAT THE FUCK
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEhelp me
my moms the only one who sees the worst in me. when i get mad i get PISSED. I pull out my hair, I cry, it feels like I NEED to throw things. I’ve hit her before in a fury of what the fuck. I’ve never apologized fully for it all. I still feel like it’s her fault, somehow. At least partly. I know I shouldnt EVER do anything like that, but I feel like I can’t help it when it happens. It doesnt even make me feel better, I just… pop. I’m not the kind of person I am around her.
I wish she would’ve beleievd me when I told her the first two times what my dad did when he was drunk. The third time around she sent me to live with him, basically for good. after about a month or more, he did it again. but this time it was bad. He strangled me and threw all my belongings out, wouldnt let me use his phone, and told me to get the fuck lost.
She never fully believed me, and I fucking hate her for it.
Now I find myself wishing my dad would just be sober, I would love him so much.
If he dies before I talk to him again, Im sure Ill consider it half his fault.
Because Im so fucking stubborn, just like all of them.
I fucked my life over in the last half of 2006, and ongoing into this year. I DONT KNOW HOW TO RESTART.
the other day i freaked out and hit my mom again, And i don’t know how to stop myself.
Again, I wish she would give in sometimes, its what I need.
ALl along I just want her to feel sorry for me.
But I’m not getting anywhere, and I feel like it’s just getting worse.
I dont understand how my three attempted suicides didnt work either.
I JJUST TRY TO CONVINCE MYSELF IM NOT A BAD PERSON AND IT JUST MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A LOSER.
I cant believe this boy says he loves me. Im a motherfucking WASTE
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEhelp me
my moms the only one who sees the worst in me. when i get mad i get PISSED. I pull out my hair, I cry, it feels like I NEED to throw things. I’ve hit her before in a fury of what the fuck. I’ve never apologized fully for it all. I still feel like it’s her fault, somehow. At least partly. I know I shouldnt EVER do anything like that, but I feel like I can’t help it when it happens. It doesnt even make me feel better, I just… pop. I’m not the kind of person I am around her.
I wish she would’ve beleievd me when I told her the first two times what my dad did when he was drunk. The third time around she sent me to live with him, basically for good. after about a month or more, he did it again. but this time it was bad. He strangled me and threw all my belongings out, wouldnt let me use his phone, and told me to get the fuck lost.
She never fully believed me, and I fucking hate her for it.
Now I find myself wishing my dad would just be sober, I would love him so much.
If he dies before I talk to him again, Im sure Ill consider it half his fault.
Because Im so fucking stubborn, just like all of them.
I fucked my life over in the last half of 2006, and ongoing into this year. I DONT KNOW HOW TO RESTART.
the other day i freaked out and hit my mom again, And i don’t know how to stop myself.
Again, I wish she would give in sometimes, its what I need.
ALl along I just want her to feel sorry for me.
But I’m not getting anywhere, and I feel like it’s just getting worse.
I dont understand how my three attempted suicides didnt work either.
I JJUST TRY TO CONVINCE MYSELF IM NOT A BAD PERSON AND IT JUST MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A LOSER.
I cant believe this boy says he loves me. Im a motherfucking WASTE
Rae.
You’re not alone.
rae-
i get it.
i dont.
but
the past week has been almost completely freeing,
im doing some letting go, as well as, not forgetting, but putting the past aside.
maybe if everything that brought me down isnt so fresh in my mind,
i wont be pushed so far.
or rather, i wont push myself so far.
I lied bad.
Half of me regrets that I lied to my parents about everything.
Half of me wants to do worst than just lieing.
I’ve posted on here before under the name “anonymous”, even though there are multiple anonymouses. I guess that makes it more anonymous. I’m just too afraid to give my real name.
Everyday I feel like I’ve never felt lower…then I wake up the next day only to remind myself that I feel worse today than I did yesterday. I wish I could remember a time when I felt truly happy. I have no one to talk to about this, I feel very alone. As long as I’m living with my parents I know I can’t get help. I’ve never been self destructive, I guess the way I cope is just holding it inside. Maybe thats only because I have nobody to explain my feelings to.
As I’ve posted before, “If I had the courage I would definitely kill myself.”
Rae-
If you ever want to talk, feel free to IM me.
justuntildecember@mugglenet.com
I’d like to be able to help
whatever is meant to be, will be.
whatever is meant to be, will be.
whatever is meant to be, will be.
whatever is meant to be, will be.
that’s all I gotta keep telling myself.
whatever is meant to be, will be.
My boyfriend after two years together, and constant abuse from him, broke up with me. I was so hurt I tried to date someone else. That person is the best person I have ever met in my life. I lost contact with him and started talking to my ex again. He did a 360 and now hes back to the person I fell in love with. Now that I’m back with my ex and with my luck, I ran into Mr. Perfect. He doesn’t know I’m with my ex boyfriend, and he thinks I’m the best person in the world. He kissed me the other night, and now I feel as if I cheated even though I turned away. The guilt is unbearable. I don’t know what to do.
My boyfriend after two years together, and constant abuse from him, broke up with me. I was so hurt I tried to date someone else. That person is the best person I have ever met in my life. I lost contact with him and started talking to my ex again. He did a 360 and now hes back to the person I fell in love with. Now that I’m back with my ex and with my luck, I ran into Mr. Perfect. He doesn’t know I’m with my ex boyfriend, and he thinks I’m the best person in the world. He kissed me the other night, and now I feel as if I cheated even though I turned away. The guilt is unbearable. I don’t know what to do.
I used to smoke pot constantly to impress my ex boyfriend, instead he fell for my bestfriend. He ruined my life.
I’m still lonely and I’m doing all I can to change. It just won’t work.
My friends brought up the subject of making out around my boyfriend. I’ve only been going out with him for three weeks and I don’t want to rush things like I did with my other boyfriends, because they didn’t last long.
He kept making hints that he’d like to make out with me but I’m also scared that I won’t like it as much as I liked kissing my ex. I don’t like my ex at all anymore, but I can’t forget how good it felt.
Maybe if my boyfriend made the first move, but he seems to… I don’t know. Want me to say it’s okay. But I’m scared to say okay.
I freaked out when my friends suggested 7 minutes in heaven and it was suddenly very awkward between me and my boyfriend.
I’m scared of ruining things.
I’m scared he won’t be good enough.
I’m scared I won’t be good enough.
But I don’t want him to get bored with the little pecks on the lips I’m giving him.
Help!