I can’t remember who told me about PostSecret but it’s become one of my favorite blogs. Each entry consists of a postcard that someone sent the curator to post. They are beautiful postcards with intriguing confessions.
post secret
I want you to join the military and go to war so I can see you in uniform and be one of the cliche lonely girlfriends at home.
I found a lump in my left testicle and im afraid to go to the doctors about it…
Being a five year old girl… i knew the only safe place of my house. The Closet. My father never found me there. Drunks never do.
im talking to you right now.
but the one thing i wanna say to you.
i can’t.
i just wanna run away with you this summer.
and lie in your arms.
it’s all so romantic.
and you would probably say that im romantic.
i’ve just never shown you the real me.
she told everyone at school that I’m a slut.
no one believed.
but they should of.
because I am.
i hav always wanted to kill people for fun…i still hav that desire
i hav always wanted to kill people for fun…i still hav that desire
I am anorexic
I am bullimic
I am dying
I dont care
I dont wish I did
The only reason I worry
is because Ive just met my soulmate
and now Im contemplating killing him so that when I die we can stay together forever.
you said i was too clingy
im only too clingy because you dont care
you say you do, but we both know you dont
you flirt with all my friend
i so much as look at yours
and you flip out
how is that fair?
I had sex with a guy last night just to be close to someone…the truth is I don’t feel close to anything at all.
i hate you so much and its becuase you called me fat in 7th grade. i will never forget. now 5 years later you want a relationship and youve forgotten that you hurt me. i plan on breaking your heart once youve fallen head over heals with me.
everybody thinks that i am someting i am not. nobody knows anything about my life and my emotions. the truth is ,my father has been a junkie my whole life and took our family down with him. He used to be a foreign drug runner, but got caught and had to go to jail. i have major depression, and think about killing myself constantly. i planned my suicide for one month ago. i wrote letters to my loved one’s and destroyed anything i didnt want people to know. i even went to the headland to decide where would be the best place to jump. Something came over me that day and i didnt do it. i thought things could get better. but they havent and i feel so weak that i didnt even have the guts to go through with it. i live in a very materailistic suburb. No one knows anything about me, my mother doesnt even know i have depression and cry everynight. My best friends have no idea about my family or my emotions. I tell them my father is just a normal dad that doesnt live with us. Everything is a lie. I’m afraid to tell anyone, because they will look and treat me differently. I cant go on like this; but i could not handle people knowing my weaknesses. I dont know what to do.
my boyfriends mom is constanly driving me insane.
my boyfriend and i are both only children and to everyones surprise we get along great…. its his mother and i cant stand!
i costom made a sweatshirt for him and when his mom found out that it was black she called the store behind my back and changed the order to red because she likes that color better!
i had been planning to get my boyfriend a tatoo for his graduation for months we even picked it out together and i told his mom 5 months before graduation that i was getting him a tatoo. a week before graduation she told me that she was getting him a tatoo and that i would just have to get him something else. and then she had the guts to ask me what he wanted for a tatoo and asked me to give her the picture that we had picked out.
sometimes i cry myself to sleep because she treats me so bad.
if you have ANY advice PLEASE post it on here for me. any little bit is appreciated.
thanks
when the subject of friends comes up.
i have to lie to you all.
see none of you are my best friends
theres only 2 ppl i can see being friends with forever.
one of them has been in my life for 7 years.
she has been there thru thick and thin, even tho she caused some of my troubles.
the others just arrived.
hes only there because i love him so much.
im afraid that when i stop loving him.
i’ll only have one person in the whole world.
Hi, how’s everyone doin?
O.K. Annie stop crying! Your Dad’s problems are not yours! I lived with a junkie for over a year, they use you, and are weak. I hope you are better than that and are strong enough to be yourself!
Jodie! I am truly happy, I am alone, I love my job, I love my life and thank god I’m over Rab ang rid of Ian!
Everybody else, (I am) etc what can I say? I’m 35 now and happier than ever. And that’s without any drugs! Get rid of whatever is causing the problem! Yeah, that’s the answer! Get rid of whaat is causing the problem!!! Then comes the happiness!!! believe it!
I’ve been in love with him for 3 years now. He’s been a married man with kids. The thing is, he tells me he’s in love with me too. That we are soulmates….that we belong together. He’s used his kids as an excuse as to why he can’t get a divorce, but they have been separated for a year now. Well, a couple of weeks ago he told me what I’ve been waiting for….he’s filed for divorce!!!! I was so happy I screamed. But since then, things are still the same. I talk to him about once, maybe twice a week for about 5 minutes. I haven’t seen him since the day he told me about the news. I probably won’t see him again for another 2 or 3 weeks. I’ve waited so long, butI’m starting to feel like it’s just too much. It hurts so bad to be inlove with someone and they are so out of your reach. Even though it’s getting closer and closer, it still feels too far away. Every time that I talk to him, I hurt so bad. I just want to be able to feel his arms around me and kiss his lips, but all I get is MAYBE 5 minutes on the phone once a week…..while SHE gets his kids, his car, his time. Like I said, I’ve waited so long now. Should I wait just a little longer? Is 3 years too much to just throw away? If not for HER, he’s the perfect man. Loving, caring, respectful, truthful, honest. He’s gorgeous. I’ve never loved anyone like this in my life. I’ve even been married before….and I was never even close to loving my exhusband the way that I love HIM. I guess I answered my own question….I’m gonna wait. After 3 years, what’s another year at most?!?!?! Especially when I’m so in love.
u guys dont need to try to kill your self, it ends when it ends live happy untill that day
urmy1andonly,
they do say “the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting next to them knowing you can’t have them” I think this applies to you in a sense of, if you just wait like you say your going to you’ll have him all to yourself.
i’m the biggest phony you will ever hear of in your entire life. i am an amazing liar. it’s gotten to the point where i lie to complete strangers just for the sake of them thinking i’m something i’m not. and even to my good friends, i find that i actually have to sit down and backtrack to figure out what they think about me is true and what is lie. the majority is the latter. it would take me hours to try and post all the lies i’m still living today, and to be honest, i couldnt remember half of them.
My many secrets:
I broke up with the only guy who would love me just so I could find something new
I hate my dad, because he’s everything I hate in myself
everyone thinks they know me but they only know what I let them know
I hate my best friend sometimes
I will break your heart before you ever get the chance to break mine
I’m so fucked up, that I don’t think anyone could ever help me
Everyone thinks I don’t cut anymore, I just hide the cuts better
I hate living but I am too afraid to just die
And lastly, I’ve never been as happy as everyone thinks, I just play the part really well
In high school I was the popular athlete who everyone thought had everything, except i was always too busy to ever have a boyfriend. Now that i am 18 i am scared that i wasted my life and now i will never have a boy love me.
I pray every night that my teacher is here with me… she will always be in my heart and it will always be empty unless she is with me…I cry as I write this as I know that will NEVER happen
I want to hug and hold everyone who posted here and PostSecret and anyone who’s ever hurt or felt bad about themselves, and make all of the world feel better. And I HATE myself for the fact that I can’t.
I still think my father committed suicide to get me into college.
If I could kick my own ass, I would.
I’m so afraid that I’ll never be happy. And, frankly…I don’t think it matters, I don’t deserve it.
just_until_december:
So, what you’re saying is basically what I said….I should wait? I go back and forth on what I think I should do. But I know that in the end, if I give up, I will regret it for the rest of my life. We’ve never had an arguement or a fight…..we’ve disagreed, but only talked it out. We have the same beliefs and morals, and we both parent our children the same….the kids come first before anything else. We had lunch together one day on my lunch break about a year and a half ago, and one of my coworkers/friends went with us. She said to me on our way back to work how disgustingly gross the two of us were together because we looked at each other like there was no one else in the world. And that’s how is remained over the past 3 years. We are undoubtedly in love. See what I mean?!?!?! I keep answering my own question!!! And you’re right….if I just wait a little while longer, I will have him all to myself….for the rest of my life. I’m not quite 30 yet, so the rest of my life is a very long time compared to a measly 3 years!!! It’s well worth the wait. Thanks for your words of advice. They are greatly appreciated.
About 2 years ago I fell from my happy life with God…Now, I want to talk to him again and feel happy again, but I”m too scared to talk to him and I don’t think he should even waste his time on me. I just wish I knew the words to say to him
I still miss the guy who beat me for three years. And I don’t mean just slapped me around, I mean beat the fuck out of me, called me a whore at least once a week. However I think he really loved me. I went to therapy and have been out of the relationship for a year and a half almost now, but I still partially love him and want him. I have no idea why and I will never tell my best friends this because they would never ever understand and just make me feel stupid. I am not going to get back together with him- but never the less I want him.
When I was 8 years old, my 19 year old brother killed himself. It destroyed me. I still feel like I should have saved him, and I still feel like I am missing out on him being in my life. My entire family felt at fault and were devistated. At the time I was being molested by my grandfather, and my parents in a few years would spiral into a drug addiction that would invite killers and meth makers into my home. I moved out when I was sixteen and got into one abusive relationship after another to escape.
However after all this time and MANY MANY nights of wanting to die- the only thing that saved me was knowing how much I hated my brother for leaving me, how much I missed him, how much he could have added to my life, how much I needed to be loved by him- and not abandoned. His death saved me, and I hope it can save others. I hope that people can see how they will be missed.
You may think that your friends and family won’t miss you- they will. And I will miss you. I will miss you and I don’t even know you. I don’t know you, yet I cry for you when I cry for my brother and I love you, just as I love him. I am so lonely lately- and you just might meet me on the street and we might become friends- you may just end up saving me with friendship… I don’t know you yet, but I need you on this earth with me.
I make up stories about ex boyfriends I’ve never had. I’m 18 and I’ve never been kissed by a guy who wasn’t drunk. I really don’t think that anyone could find me attractive…I have never ever been liked by a guy.
emmie isnt real.
that doesnt make sense to you, but it’s ruining my life.
I smile every time my friend says the only people she missed when she was on vacation were her mom and me. Whenever we talk on AIM, we say “xoxo” before either one of us signs off. She recently started to say “I love you” at the end of our online chats. She has no idea that I have a crush on her. She’s the one girl I’d go gay for… because she’s the only person I’ve ever truly loved. I can’t tell her because she’s 100% straight and I know it would ruin our friendship.
I’m 16 years old and I’ve never been kissed and I never had a boyfriend, but several guys have felt me up.
I always think that something happened to me when I was a kid. I pretend/think to myself that my brother or my dad molested me, but I don’t really think they did. I guess I’m just looking for an excuse for being messed up.
I told a counselor my goal for the year was not to kill myself. I later said I was just joking, but I wasn’t. But I?ll admit I said it to finally have someone tell me I need therapy. My dad refused to tell my mom, and he refused to let me go.
My brother tells me everything that?s going on in his life and I love that. I know more about him than any of his friends.
I lie to every single one of my friends, and I feel terrible about it, even though I know they all lie to me.
My mother wants me to lose weight as a birthday present for her, but I don’t really mind weighing 320 pounds. And the only way I’ll lose weight is if she pays for me to get a gastric bypass.
I know that I am an amazing singer, but I’m afraid to let people hear me sing. I’d kill to be a famous singer, but I don’t think anyone will want to see a fat girl be the lead singer of a band. That’s why I only sing at home, in the car, or on the phone with a few of my friends.
My sister and I talked a couple of times about how I’d kill to go to gay bars and say I had just had a sex change to become a female to get gay guys. It would be perfect because I’d get what I want, and so would he, and he would think that he could finally be accepted by society.
basically yeah. i think i was more agreeing with you than anything else.
I’m about to leave for college and the thing I fear the most is I wont be missed.
when i grow up i wanna be a junkie.
he’s the only one who can save me.
but he’ll never know.
you are all loved.
To Jessica:
God misses you more than you know.. all you have to say is that you miss Him too. He knows you inside and out and He loves you and wants you back. If you want someone to talk to then go to my URL and look at my site, you can email me there any time and I’ll be more than happy to share with you. Love in Him
I also like the site, this is the only blogsite i regularly visit.. maybe because i have so many secrets.. and i dont have the guts to post it..and i envy those who have courage to post their secrets..
i am such a looser….i left him and came running back.
i want out to be with “him”….but i’m too afraid to let go.
why cant i just stand up and say it, that i am done and want out…
BECAUSE HE IS THE MOST WONDERFUL MAN ALIVE WHEN HE’S SOBER…but thats only maybe one day every week or so that he can make it a whole day other than that, HE’S ONLY SOBER WHEN I’M AT WORK. ARGHHHHHHHHHHH. sometimes i just want to die.
last saturday night i sat in my car with a 22 in my mouth and almost did it but the thing that stopped me is knowing that that mf’er would let his family raise our kids so they wouldnt have me or him. bastard moonchaser326@hotmail.com
beat down and tired: im glad you hung in there even though i dont know you, i know that the world is a better place with you in it. stay there for your kids. they need you.
im not afraid of getting old, but i am afraid that he will die first…i couldnt live without him
im only 22, should i already be worrying about this
to helping…?
thank you nobody else cared even why i was missing
i have a boyfriend of 7 months, hes kinda violentish and i know he treats me like dirt, but i still love him. Before i met him, i fell for this guy…lets call him roy…thats not his name, but it will do for now. roy made me feel special and good. not many peopl can do that. he made me want to b me, not someone else for once. he made me happy which is a rarity. me and roy really hit it off but then he got with this other girl, and i fell for my boyfriend. A couple of months ago, roy broke up with her. and we got talking (im still with my boyfriend at this point) we ended up almost kissing and deicded to meet up and spend a weekend together. Then the friday when i was due to leave to see him, he called and said he had a new girlfriend so he didnt want to see me. Now, we were talking again, and he said if i dump my boyfriend hel dump his girlfriend and we can finalyl be together. i dno what to do, stay with a bastard of a man i love, or break his heart for a unreliable guy who makes me feel special. i really need some help. please comement xxxxxxxx
No matter how many people tell me differently, I know I’m the sole reason for my father’s suicide. I wish I could take the pain away from the rest of my family and put it onto myself.
I deserve it.
i lost my virginity at 14.
but he and i are still together, now i’m 16.
that counts for something right?
I once thought that I was raped by a guy much older than me and then I remembered that I enjoyed it. Everyone thought I’d lost my virginity when I was 19 in fact I think I was 9 or something when I lost it.
I had an affair with a married man (a rich married man) I never loved him I liked feeling like a prostitute and demanding things from him, knowing that he would buy and pay for it because he enjoyed having sex with a girl 20 years younger than him – I am 28 now – married and wishing each and every day that I could fall pregnant… it’s been 3 months and I almost cried when I started my period again.
It took me 25 minutes to write this down and press enter.. “im 17.. i share a bed with my younger sister..wen i cant fall asleep..i finger myself…because the orgasm makes me tired…my sister..she’s a deep sleeper..”
wenever i feel that my life sux ass.. i read this page over and over again.. and i end up thanking God every time .. because my life isnt that bad after all..Thnx 2 everyone for sharing there secrets on ths page. u have changed my life in more ways than one.. and u’ll never know..
these are a few of my secrets…
i think i hate my friends.. and use them because we always ahve a good time
i met my friends step borterh teh otehr day… i want him soo bad.. i think about him everyday.. but ive onli known him for 2 days.. i want to see him agen b4 he leaves teh country.. i want to kiss him. but im scared of wat my friend will say
i look at mens hands.. onli because i wouldnt want no crusty hands goin inside me…
im goin to university soon.. never been kissed…but so many guys want me
i love my cuz… but i hate her too..
i feel nasty after i masturbate…but ive done it soo many times…
i share a bed with my yunger sister..wenever i cant sleep.. i finger myslef.. b/c the orgasm makes me tired.. my sister.. well.. she’s a heavy sleeper..
Im afraid to get close to a girl, Im the skinny pale kid you see and probably laugh at.
I pretended to be asleep the morning my dad left for his motorcycle ride, just so i didnt have to talk to him. He crashed.
He has been dead for 6 years, and I regret it everyday.
I wonder if you read this, moonface.
If in fact you do (which im almost positive you dont) id like to ask you some questions.
But i wont ask them…because wanting to ask them isnt enough reason.
Sorry for your time.