I can’t remember who told me about PostSecret but it’s become one of my favorite blogs. Each entry consists of a postcard that someone sent the curator to post. They are beautiful postcards with intriguing confessions.
post secret
i have always had many friends…that is, until this year. I am now a freshman in high school. A lot of my friends last year moved away, and so this year I made new friends, all of which are popular. But the thing is, i totally feel like I don’t fit in at all. Like i just usually sit back and watch everyone have fun…and whenever i go over and hang out with MY FRIENDS, i feel like i have to fake being happy and having fun. The truth is, i miss my somewhat dorky friends waaaay more than i like having popular friends. I feel like crying right now because all of my friends are perfectionists and have to get A+’s on everything, so right now it is yet another friday night where i couldn’t do anything because no one could hang out. I HATE MY SCHOOL AND THE STUPID PERFECTIONISTS WHO GO HERE. and yet another stupid bad thing? i really want to switch schools, but we moved to this town so i could go to this school, and the only other option would be to go to this other school…but my parents think it doesn’t have as much “town spirit” since its on the border between our town and the next over. AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
I AM IN LOVE WITH MY COUSIN!!!!!!
i no it sounds crazy… but i cant help it
and i cant tell anyone
not even my best friend or parents or anyone and i hate keeping this big secret
and when he left to go back to his home 3000 miles away, i got all super sad & depressed and cryed practically every night( in private) and one day i couldnt hold it back when we were on a walk (my whole family) and i startede crying and they asked what was wrong and i made something up… i no its bad to lie, but i cant tell…not yet anyway
but its been 5-going on 6 monthes since i’ve seen him last, and i’m starting to feel happy again. I still think about him every single day, whether i want to or not…i cant help it.
and another thing, at a dance my school had, every single song that i danced with someone, i only thought of him…
i have to see you again.
I am 5’7″.
I weigh 120lbs.
I have gorgeous auburn hair, brown doe eyes, and flawless milky skin.
I don’t believe a word of that, those are all things other people have told me.
I hate myself.
I want people to like me so much, I think I’d do anything to make it happen.
Even though I’m 20 now, and it’s supposed to be teenaged angst, I still cut myself, and I can’t stop.
My boyfriend wants to marry me, and that terrifies me.
No matter what anyone thinks, I hate wearing a c-cup bra.
I hate even more that it’s too small, and a d-cup is too big.
I really do hate my younger brother, not in the way all people say they hate a sibling, it’s actual hate.
I’m scared of having children, I’m scared of them turning out like me.
I’m so sad, angry, confused, and hurt and I have no idea why.
I really just want someone to love me enough to help me, whether I say I want them to or not, but no one ever has and no one ever will.
I wonder every day if I’ve made the world at least a little better, and if I can’t answer yes, then I feel like an utter failure.
I took a whole bottle of tylenol when I was 14, then had to go to the hospital, the mental one.
I was told by a psychologist that I might be bipolar, but when I tell people that I say it like a joke, so they won’t think I’m crazy.
o me o my,
I myself am a sophmore in high school but during my freshman year i went throught the same thing only it was my group of friends that i felt like i didn’t fit in with. I had hung out with these people for 3,4 years if not longer and suddenly found myself asking why? I didn’t know why, they weren’t a great group of friends actually they weren’t I could be with them without feeling like depressed and annoyed. So i made a choice and left the group, and it was the greatest thing I’ve ever done for my self. Now i hang out with a group of kids that i love being with and whom i found by joining clubs at school, like drama(which i where i found my new friends). So my advice for you is find club that you like or a sport adn your bound to find people you’ll get along with that wont expect you to do what they do and they love you for who you are.
its supposed to say i couldnt
i am in love with my cousin.
soo sooooooo much.
but he lives 3000 miles away.
and i would do basically anything to see him again.
but i dont know if i can tell my family (mom and dad, anyway)
so the thing is…even if i raise money to get there, what am i gonna do when we get there?what would i say to him or what would i tell him the reason was that i came? no one else in the wolrd knows
dear just_until_december: thank you for the suggestion! thats a good idea on how to make more friends.
-oh me o my
o me o my,
your welcome
i have a feeling it’s gonna be ok for everyone… and least i wish it so
i have 109 terms to do for biology. I’m trying to waste time so that i have a reason not to turn it in.
people constantly tell me how beautiful i am…but i’ve never had a boyfriend, been kissed, asked out and im the only one wihtout a prom date…and im almost 18
I’m still worried about the months ahead, but at this moment I am basking in the love that surrounds me. Patting my back in a room, holding me at night. Watching you wait for me today, crossing that grass.
Thank you, all three of you, for being there for me.
I just spent the last two weeks having panic attacks. My last one was yesterday morning.
And today, I finally got mad at myself for letting myself become a prisoner to the attacks. And I think I’m going to be okay…
It’s funny how when I wanted to give up, I decided to keep going just so I could hold him again…HOW does he do it…
without him, life would be torture
hmmm…misery really does love company? It’s good that you found a place where you can finally be yourself. Good luck.
Oh, and one more thing…
…why is it someone else’s responsibility when you decide to take your own life? Yeah, that’ll really show them…kind of a risky little game, don’t ya think? The person you expect to hurt the most may not even notice. So, when you get there, let me know if it was worth it.
I used to be a great gymnast….
untill i devolped an eating disorder
-now i can hardly stand-up with out help, i
ruined my life and soon its gonna be over
thank god
dont do anything you’ll regret
I was so stupid… he hurt me once and yet i took him back again. he told me he liked me again. two weeks later he stopped talking to me. he chose his fat friend who tells all kinds of lies over me. i hope she is happy she got exactly what she wanted and now once again he is all hers. despite everything he has done and the way he treats me, i still like him and would take him back. because of him i cut myself again for the first time in nine months.
all i want is to be happy and for somebody to love me for who i am.
I remember my first day of 6th grade. U ran out into our col-du-sac and asked me anciously, ‘how was it? Whats it like?’ and u were genuinly interested. This year was my freshman, and i remember thinking, the ONE thing i really wanted was to come home and have u ask me about it the way u did before. But ever since u started playing that stupid game, we never talk anymore. mom and dad threaten to take it away if ur grades drop or whatever, but it will never happen. i miss u. i came home and got a ‘how was it’. not from u, from ur computer.
i am in love with my cousin
i dont want this life anymore
My secret?
It’s simple. I want you to need me without reason and without time.
That way I can always be myself and say and do what I really want without being afraid of losing you.
Show me that this is possible
I feel like I’m lost in the abyss. Or whatever. I fell in love with you, even though I was still in love with someone else. I let you in my heart and you hurt me over and over. Finally, I had enough and told you I didn’t want to be with you anymore. THEN you decided to change. WHY? Why couldn’t you just let me move on with my life and forget about you? Why did you have to go and turn into the man I always wanted you to be but you wouldn’t…..you wouldn’t until I didn’t want that from you anymore. Now I find myself falling in love with you all over again, and it’s all you really want. Why should I give you what you want, when I never got what I wanted until it was too late? Or is it? Can I forgive and forget? When we made love the other night, it felt like it was the first time. I’m so scared. Are you going to hurt me again when you realize you have me right where you want me? I hope not. I’m falling…….will you catch me?
I
feel
like
killing
myself
when
i
am
sad
just
to
make
the
people
who
make
me
feel
this
way
feel
so
bad
and
maybe
change.
but
i
tell
myself
i
would
never!
my friend made out with the guy i liked forever and ever–[he never liked me–tho he know i liked him] while we were all drunk at a party, turns out she likes him & he likes her and they will probably go out. she claims that because i told her i didnt like him anymore, that she didnt know… but i only did that because they pressure me to stop liking him. and i know that is would never have changed anything, she went to prom with him, and didnt even care that i was just this upset then too. i got really angry with her about the makeout, and all my freinds yelled at me and are all really mad and tell me–NOW all the things that i have ever done wrong and what they don’t like.
i apologize but the truth is i don’t feel bad or think i did anything wrong. i will not be happy for her.
&& i will never be as good of friends with them–they will never know that. no one understands and it feels like no a single person cares that i am on the verge of depression. they are all mad at me when i am this sad, which FYI [duh.] doesn’t help!
p.s. the name i put–is the name of the guy. stay away from brads. they hurt you.
my dream is to be a psychologist
and try to help people.
but i dont know if i will ever reach
that goal if i dont even know how
to solve my own problems.
there
isnt
anyone
else
that
i
wish
could
listen
to
my
problems
then
you
you
are
the
best
listener
that
i
know
but
i
would
not
want
to
fuck
up
your
perfect
life.
i lied. i am jealous.
you were my friend first. my best friend.
i’m afraid it may have been something i did. or said.
i guess i should have never told you i cut.
i like being sad. Sometimes i listen to songs that make me worse
when i’m not sad…i miss it
I know he did it. I know he is lying. So why am I always smiling when I am with him? How come I tell my friends that everything is ok, and that me and him are still best friends? Why can’t I tell anyone what all this is doing to me?
i wish i could
tell you how sorry i am
you have always been there
for me and i wish i could
do the same for you
i wish things would
go back to how they were before
you left
things have changed,
even though we said we would
never stop being friends
sometimes i hate you
i really do i hate
that you always look flawless
i hate how sometimes even when
you make me feel like shit i
still love you more than anyone
i hate how you can
afford to buy anything you want
and here i am barely making it,
i hate that after all youve been
through your finally better
and now im the one with problems
i hate how jealous i am of you
how jealous i am of your friends
i hate the feeling that your moving
on and im still here left behind.
My heart has never hurt worse for some time, but I think it’s going to be alright. I am going to be okay and I will see life again.
Secret: … right?
You’re going to be okay too…
Maybe in some paradise.
maybe not
I’m just sad there’s a big possiblity it’s not with me but maybe I’ll see you there. We can laugh again and I can stare out the moonroof and there we’ll be untouchable.
goodbye?
yes
forever?
i think so
everywhere?
i don’t care
^ that’s a lie.
I told my boyfriend that ive only slept with 5 guys. But, actually it’s over 30. I love him to much to tell the truth.
I feel like a failure as a woman because im so ugly, cant get a boyfriend and get used for sex left and right. Oh by the way..im so afraid i have an STD but i dont have the guts to get tested
monika, i looked at your myspace. i think you are beautiful.
I am obsessed with names. When i’m bored i spend hours researching the top 1000 babynames of different countries, and when i’m really bored i rate them and make lits of my favourite names.
It’s an utterly pointless waste of time…
I think about babies all the time, i’m scared i’ll never be able to have children. Sometimes, I decide if i like someone based on their name…I can’t seem to help it, it’s like first impressions but name wise.
A weird thought i do have is that if i do have children I’ll never be able to settle on a name because i’m so fickle with my favourites & they change so often…
I wish i was called Amelia.
I try to be perfect at track, so my teammates will like me. I study so hard, so I have friends at school.
I do track, karate, get decent grades, dual enroll, and I’m in student council just so I feel I deserve to have my mother’s pride; but I never feel I deserve it because I lie to her all the time.
Olivia, you think she is beautiful becuse she really is. Maybe by us saying it, she’ll finally realize it too.
i truly hope so. monika, you are beautiful.
i’m afraid my son is becoming like his father :o(
totally selfish
I know now that you love me. You love me. You love ME. I want to shake everyone and tell them that you love me.
So now I can finally make myself happy.
I’m going to be okay.
– Everyone who doubts themselves. Look into yourself and find that pride in you, cowering in the corner of your mind. Take that pride by the hand, pull it up, let it help it stand on its own two feet. Let it lead you out of the fear, the anger, the frustration.
Don’t take it anymore. Do whatever makes you happy. You’ve got one life to live. Live it.
If somebody knows of the perfect revenge to get back at an old boyfriend who’s still haunting my life, please feel free to give me advice.
My family is rich.
I walk through that halls of my school knowing it, but I have to much class to tell people, and I don’t want them to hate me. So im telling you. Please don’t hate me either.
My father owns 2 large construction companys and many bonds and stocks. My mother has many nice horses, and a 10 thousand dollar wedding ring. She also has around 35 Louie Vouiton hang bags, 40 Prada hand bags, 60 Pairs of Jimmy Cho and Minolo Blonicks shoes. We own a house in Nebraska, a home in East Hampton, and a house in LA. My brothers and I get what ever we want. My most prized and expensive thing would have to be my Range Rover I got for my 15 birthday. For my 16 birthday I recieved a Mercades. When we go shopping my mother and I spend around 5,000 in one trip. My dad never finds out because we never tell him. When he goes shopping it’s around 10 grand. I love my life and everything in it. The trips, the clothes, the houses, the parties. However, im so scared that we’ll lose it all and I wont have any of it anymore. I don’t work and im 16, I don’t know what hard earned cash is. Behind it all im just a normal kid who likes to relax like normal people do.
I hate watching MTV’s Sweet Sixteen because I hate the people on it. That is why I don’t tell anyone about my family because I don’t want to sound like them.
Please don’t hate me
i don’t know what i want anymore.
i tell myself that i’m fine & they don’t need to know about
the cutting
the bulimia
the complusive lying
the suicide plans.
but inside i’m screaming for help. i want to get better.
i’m just afraid they won’t care once they find out.
they’d care. everyone cares. because in the end it all comes down to love and everyone has someone that loves them.
Rich anon. i know how you feel. i used to be very rich. now i am just middle class. but i was so afraid everyone would hate me if they knew. you just have to find the right people. i dont hate you.
Ok…
Only one person knows all my secrets…my best friend.. all but one…
I tell her he likes her just to see her smile because I know shes broken and now I know I’ve done something horrible because he’s the only person who makes her smile like that and he really doesnt like her.. he just wants to have sex with her.
I let him cum inside me.
i stay with my boyfriend because i am waiting for someone better to come along.