I can’t remember who told me about PostSecret but it’s become one of my favorite blogs. Each entry consists of a postcard that someone sent the curator to post. They are beautiful postcards with intriguing confessions.
post secret
“all ive ever wanted is
for you to say
“im sorry…”
Posted by: screw it at April 14, 2006 04:52 PM”
thats how i feel about my dad. its what i wished for on my birthday but he never did it
i so sorry…
Everynight I pretend like I’m not alone… just so I can fall asleep.
I love my dad, he is my best friend. But I have to leave him – because I can’t stand his new family. I never thought I’d go, but then again, I never thought he’d change either. I miss him and the way it use to be.
You told me that you didn’t want to be in a relationship but i still think about you all the time. I afraid that no one will ever love me.
I have lived a lie for the past year.
I have 2 children I love and my 6 y.o. is turning 7 we are having a big party but I couldn’t care less because Im miscarrying as I write this and I wanna die how can I feel like this when I have to go on for my boys and I just wanna crawl in a hole
i found the person i love and want to be with, i had him once but i was selfish and lost him.
you were right in front of me the entire time, you were my best friend.
i’m sorry, i love you. take your time but please come back.
I thought I was in love with you. But you told me that you didn’t want to be in a relationship. I don’t think I will ever find someone like you again.
This whole last year I have lied to everyone I know. Things have to change.
I am dependent on my boyfriend, but he treats me like shit. All my friends hate him, and i’ve lost a lot of friends over him, yet somehow i can’t seem to leave him ( you know how it is) because i choose complacency over happiness in the long run. I disgust myself and have tried to kill myself multiple times. I’ve slit my wrists and sat in a running car in a garage, but somehow i can’t bring myself to do it, and then i hate myself for it afterwards. i hate the fact that i’m not in control of my own life and that life is just such that none of us can be in control of it. I love my boyfriend, and we say we want to spend the rest of our lives together, but i honestly wish that I were strong enough to leave him. Sadly, though, I can never make it past the first few days of breaking up, which are always the hardest.
I let everyone step on me because i feel worthless.
i will never get married because my husband, whomever he is, will cheat on me.
There is no hope in the world.
There is no such thing as true love.
There is no such thing as justice.
Posted by: disgusting at May 5, 2006 12:35 AM
Although I have never tried to kill myself, I feel the same way about my boyfriend. He is all wrong for me. Nobody wants me to be with him. There’s not one reason for him and I to still be together. Oh yeah!!! I just thought of one…..I’m too scared to be alone to not be with him. I’m scared that if I break up with him, nobody will ever love me again. I’m scared that I’ll never find anyone else to look at me with such adoration. It hurts too much to be alone. So much more than it hurts to be with someone that you’re not in love with. But please ‘disgusting’….don’t try and kill yourself anymore. The way I see it is, it can’t get much worse. That means it can only get better. And if you kill yourself, you’ll miss out on all the ‘better’ and only be left with the worst. Nothing is worth killing yourself over. I’ve been beaten, raped, physically mentally and emotionally abused, but I’m still here. Because I don’t want to miss all of the ways my life could be better. You can’t find the person of your dreams and fall madly in love if you’re not alive. You can’t receive the best gift in the world…..holding your newborn baby in your arms, if you’re not alive. You can’t win the lottery if you’re not alive to play it. PLEASE….LIVE for the better.
The moment I said we would be together was the moment I knew I would break your heart. Im sorry. I never loved you. I know you won’t forgive me. I truly am sorry.
I had a bad day…again.
Its not the coffee, the energy drinks, the all nighters, the long distance relationship, or the pre-calc. None were around when I started feeling this way in 8th grade. I don’t want help b/c then it’ll be dirt to dig up if i ever get into politics or another high profile career.
I’m smart, they tell me. Top 16% of my class. 3.65 GPA. But i want to flip hamburgers when i grow up b/c its easy and i don’t have to think about it when i get home. if college is worse than this i think im done. I don’t want to admit it was you who took away my ambition. And if it was i don’t know weather to hate you for it or not.
Sorry for the rant. Sorry for being a bad person.
Ive become obseesed with my teacher at school. I’m not gay, i dont love her in that way but i always want to talk to her and i even run to the classroom at the end of the day so i can her before we go home.
But shes is going on maternity leave and its really depressing
Ive wanted to die for years now, i cant help it. My life is not all bad and i know that everyone around me loves me but it doesnt help. I HATE MYSELF! I get these feelings that i cant explain, i go up and down i find that im always either annoyingly hyper or totally depressed and i cannot control my feelings for shit. I get into so much trouble at school cos i have no control over myself.
The worst thing I’ve ever done is given the love of my life herpes. He says it’s ok and never asks any questions, and it makes me hurt even more.
I don’t feel guilty about giving herpes to my ex. I denied I had it. I think he deserved it.
To Monique:
I am so with you there….As soon as my boyfriend said he loved me….which is what I wanted….is the moment I didn’t want him so much anymore. Now he’s all in love, and I’m thinking of any way I can to get out. ANYTHING. Picking fights over the dumbest shit, just hoping he’ll walk away. He never does though. And I’m too much of a coward to tell him the truth. I don’t love you. I never really did. I just loved the idea of being in love……. OH WELL!!!!!
i try hard to be liked. then when im liked i take it for granted and move on. i don’t people with the respect that they deserve
i love my girlfriend so much but constantly think with the wrong part of my brain
i love you i hope i make me better for you
i told her that i loved her. but i dont.
I am now 14
in the 3rd grade i was raped by my mom’s
boy friend
and i’ve never told anyone….
it doesnt really help emotionally to tell anyone. funny. you would think it would.
Im in love with this guy. and i never thought i could love again. he makes me forget about the mistake ive done to my life. i want to be with him so much, but im afarid to tell him how i feel.
im afraid im in love with my best friend.
i dont think he’ll ever know…
i think i was born in the wrong era.
i dont think im meant to be here.
actually, it does help.
my best friend used to be the greatest person
i had ever encountered.
when i met him, i could, and did,
tell him everything.
except for one thing: i loved him.
i still do.
he started changing a few months ago,
he got meaner, angrier, more moody.
we’re still best friends, but everyone else
thinks i should just stop being friends with him.
i can’t. i love him more than anything.
and no matter how much he pushes me away,
i know i’ll do anything for him to feel the same.
i cry all the time from how he treats me,
but everytime he needs help, i’m there.
i wish i could just forget about him.
be indifferent. i wish i was stronger.
i wish i had never met him.
Im going to die on the 23 of july
…..if i don;t kill myslef before then….
im going to die on July 23
….unless i kill myslef before then……
almost all of my friends turn to me for help,
but ignore me around their boyfriends, or cooler friends.
i dont have a boyfriend. and i dont have any other friends to turn to.
i hate the way they make me feel about myself.
i’m afraid the only person who will ever find me beautiful is my mother.
um no-
im glad it helped you. i just wish it helped me. i guess it might help some people. i didnt mean it as advice or anything. just me saying stuff.
I broke up with my boyfriend about 3 weeks ago…i was happy…
I started crying 2 weeks ago…i miss him…
I planned to get him back a week ago…i didnt have the guts…
He started flirting w/ a girl 5 days ago…I want to hurt myself…
She flirts with everyone…she is a tease and will break his heart…
I wrote him a note asking him if there was a chance for us yesterday…I got no reply…
I love him sooo much and need him in my life…I know he still has those feelings…
I have the urge to call him…but i dont have the guts…
I cried when i was with him…now i cry w/o him…
I hate myself for being selfish…I caused my pain…not him
Before i wrote about how i was in love with my best friend…i came to accept his relationship…and i said i would give up mine to be with him…it wasnt true… I Love R*** and want him back…I was stupid…
its strange, i feel like i can relate to almost everyone here. even tho i am still young i believe i have experienced a lot.
My secrets: for once, i cant actually think of anything!
Suprising!
but i do have a question: can a person be truly in love with someone at the age of 18?
my few secrets:-
i go to the doctor every two weeks or so to get my meds,to stabalise my mood.
it makes me a zombie,And i do it because im petrafied of letting people close to me.
i drew a picture of my ideal person, and i fell in love with this image i have. i know they dont exist, but my relationships faulter cos no one comes up to my image.
id give up everything to be in a mental institution for a while
i hate seeing most of my family because i feel like a dissapointment.
i forgave him.
i forgave all his shitty actions towards me.
i hated him.
he hurt my feelings.
i felt invisible around him.
but then he smiled at me…
and told me he loved me.
and i forgave him.
i’m pretty sure i’ve made a huge mistake…
reply to: just_me
(but i do have a question: can a person be truly in love with someone at the age of 18?)
i think the awnswer to that is defintly yes.
I think about you all the time. I check my email, I’m always around my phone, I just want to hear from you. I feel so alone. I am gonna leave on saturaday and I am afraid that you won’t talk or meet me before. Why I’m I so fucking pathetic.
To anonymous:
Dear Anonymous, I just wanted to say that I hope you don’t kill yourself on the 23rd of July, or on any day for that matter. I’m not being judgemental of your reasons, just wanted to let you know that I am worried about your wellbeing, even though I dont know you and probably never will. Take care
Hmmm…you guys should really check out http://www.veryliberating.com
It’s so addicting.
i tell everyone lies about you, that you mentally and physically abuse me. and how much you hate me and i hate you. but the truth is, i love you so much it hurts. i love you more than anyone alive. and i dont want them to know im so weak.
i havent seen you in 7 months, but everytime i talk to you on the phone, its all i can do to keep from crying because i miss you so much. but i feel bad, because i know you love me too, and you have no idea what everyone i know thinks about you. i feel like our relationship is tainted, and i would give anything for it to be pure again, but i dont think it ever was. i want it to be right, but i keep lying and i cant stop. i want this to be right, but i can never tell them it was a lie. im afraid to be isolated and hated. i love you so much but not enough to tell the truth. so i wonder do i really love you?
Why can’t people be as honest and truthful in person as they are on this website? Why do people feel they have to hide who they are and pretend to be someone they’re not?
Why can’t people see that if they would stop looking at themselves for ONE SECOND, they would realize that in helping someone else, they might just help themselves?
If some of you would just realize that your own self-involvement has wasted precious moments that you can never get back, and that other people are not thinking about your faults and mistakes even HALF as much as you think they are.
I hope and pray that my husband and I can teach our one-year-old daughter, as she grows, that she IS worthy, beautiful, smart, and wonderful–all the things that my mother never told me. I pray that she will know that she does NOT need a guy (or anything else) to validate her. I pray that she knows that she is VERY LOVED by many people, as are EVERY ONE OF YOU! –Even if you all choose not to see it.
My prayer is for all of you to stop looking for what YOU want in life and what makes YOU feel good right now, and open your eyes to where you are being led AND OPEN YOUR HEART to someone else. Stop being SO SELFISH! Help change (and SAVE) the world and the lives of all those who feel hopeless, miserable, and unworthy. LIVE while you�re still ALIVE. Some people don�t have a choice in whether or not they live, and here you all are talking about ending your own lives and how depressing life is, but what you don�t realize is that it is only depressing when you�re NOT living it!!
well i did it. I mailed my screts in. i put them in the mailbox next to my bank as soon as i did it i wanted them back. its too late now though.
well i did it. I mailed my screts in. i put them in the mailbox next to my bank as soon as i did it i wanted them back. its too late now though.
i cheated on the greatest person i’ve ever known. i don’t want him to find out. i’m not sure how long i can take the guilt.
i blead on my moms bathroom floor….
and i told her it was an accident
(i lied)
i blead on my moms bathroom floor….
and i told her it was an accident
(i lied)
when he touched me, a part of me died. when none of my friends did anything about it, another part of me died. when my father did nothing, another part of me died. when i realized I was never going to do anything, the rest of me died.
Dear Penny Lane,
Your daughter will bea crackhead if you pour all that selfless crap into her head. You want the people on this website to go help those who are poor and miserable nad helpless….THEY ARE THOSE PEOPLE! everyone here helps everyone else jsut by posting a secret.
I tried to commit suicide three times. Nobody was there for me. But seeing stuff like this…these secrets. I realized how I was worth something. Others had the same problems as me and it gave me hope.
To live one msut be both selfless and selfish.
Why can’t people be as honest and truthful in person as they are on this website? Why do people feel they have to hide who they are and pretend to be someone they’re not? ———-> So you are going ot tell me that your husband knows every litle thing about you? That as your daughter gets older and wants ot go over some boys house..that makes you uncomfortable..instead of a white lie to keep her around youll let her go? Or will you straight up be all “NoI dont like him your not going” every time? Secrets are a part of life. Only you know every little thing about you. But ot let it go feels good makes a person a soul free. and sometimes this is needed cos a friend to trust is NOT always around.
So before you go and post shit like that again making a human feel selfishly worthless and make me want ot die all over again. Think twice.
Since my boyfriend died 5 months ago, I’ve been suicidal. And the thing I wished the most was that i was pregnant. Now i think i might be from some randomn guy.
“Baby baby stay gone” …. My sweet soldier… I love you so much but you’ve been gone for so long you seem like a dream … I’m finally ok again… what happens to me when you come home again, just to leave after 4 days? … Then what tell me.. I love you, the memory of life with you, it was so much better when you were here but you left and I don’t know if I want you to come home just to leave me again… why did I have to fall in love with you and why did you love me back better than anyone els ever has? Why … no lips have touched mine since yours did.. no tender intimate touches .. since you hands wre upon my skin… and I feel like you aren’t even alive now, I grieved for you, for the loss of you and I don’t want anyone else but I sure as hell don’t want to hold you hand just to have it taken away again and next month you’ll be here for 4 days… 4 tiny days that will pass before I can blink and then before I turn around you’ll be gone again and my bed will be empty again and I’ll have to figure out how to sleep without you in my bed… And the hard part is there is no body that I can share this with that really understands… I am the only Army girlfriend I know… the only military girlfriend … so I ache for you and I wonder if you are ever gong to come home again and there is absoltely nobody…not one single soul I can tell and if I thought for one second that you might read this and have an inkling that I am the one writing it I wouldn’d post it but this site isn’t your kind of thing.. I know you so well. I don’t really want you to stay gone I want you to come home and stay or ask me to marry you right now, not when “Uncle Sam is done with you.” the lines from our song “weathers turning warm but I’m freezing inside” hence the name Frost lol and this sucks so much, you my very best friend the man I told everything to.. shared every secret with .. I can’t tell you these things because you would worry about me, you’d be distracted and a distracted soldier is a dead soldier so no my darling my favorite, my hero, I’ll not tell you any of this and when you show up at my front door in your uniform.. eyes twinkling smile beaming arms outstretched I will not speak a word of doubt or fear to you… When you look at me you’ll see pride and strength and joy and abounding love… I’ll hide the rest and only write about these horrible secrets here. I will stay by your side and hold my breath and pray with everything I am that you will come home safely to me and when you get home you won’t be so hurt by the things you’ve seen and done that you aren’t you anymore. I miss you and I love you completely. You are a hero. You are MY hero!
i still love him and i know he doeesn’t give a shit about me because he posted it on my comment wall.
I want to slowly slice your eyelids off your face.
You disgusting son of a bitch. This is the rage you have yet to experiance. I’m the best you’ll ever have, but by the time you realize that it’ll be too late.
Go back. Fuck her. I don’t care anymore.
WE ARE OVER.
Everyone thinks I’m something I’m not. All the smiles on my face are fake. I’m horribly unhappy, but I’m terrified of what my mom would think if she knew something was wrong.
I lie about things that are bothering me to gain sympathy. I want to know what it feels like to have someone care about me. I want people to worry about me, because then I know that at least they’re thinking of me…that I haven’t been forgotten.
I only have one real friend, and I get jealous when he talks to his other friends because I have no one else.
While walking across the bridge at school last week I wondered what it would be like to jump off. I’ve also thought about what it would be like to take a bunch of pills. I almost did it once, but I was scared of what would happen if it didn’t work and I woke up in the hospital.
We broke up almost 2 months ago and the night we did I told her I was happy for her.
I miss her so bad…