I can’t remember who told me about PostSecret but it’s become one of my favorite blogs. Each entry consists of a postcard that someone sent the curator to post. They are beautiful postcards with intriguing confessions.
post secret
For valentines day i want a dozen red ballons…
I’m afraid I will never be with you again. I’m not so much afraid because I don’t think I’ll be able to find someone like you again… but that I’m being treated so bad right now by the person I am with, I can’t stop compairing him to you and stop being terrified of his yelling. I’ve left this relationship going on 3 times now – he just won’t leave me alone.
i want someone to take one look at me and be smitten.
i want things that can never work.
i tell everyone lies about you, that you mentally and physically abuse me. and how much you hate me and i hate you. but the truth is, i love you so much it hurts. i love you more than anyone alive. and i dont want them to know im so weak.
i havent seen you in 6 months, but everytime i talk to you on the phone, its all i can do to keep from crying because i miss you so much. but i feel bad, because i know you love me too, and you have no idea what everyone i know thinks about you. i feel like our relationship is tainted, and i would give anything for it to be pure again, but i dont think it ever was. i want it to be right, but i keep lying and i cant stop. i want this to be right, but i can never tell them it was a lie. im afraid to be isolated and hated. i love you so much but not enough to tell the truth. so i wonder do i really love you?
i tell everyone lies about you, that you mentally and physically abuse me. and how much you hate me and i hate you. but the truth is, i love you so much it hurts. i love you more than anyone alive. and i dont want them to know im so weak.
i havent seen you in 6 months, but everytime i talk to you on the phone, its all i can do to keep from crying because i miss you so much. but i feel bad, because i know you love me too, and you have no idea what everyone i know thinks about you. i feel like our relationship is tainted, and i would give anything for it to be pure again, but i dont think it ever was. i want it to be right, but i keep lying and i cant stop. i want this to be right, but i can never tell them it was a lie. im afraid to be isolated and hated. i love you so much but not enough to tell the truth. so i wonder do i really love you?
to disgusting
I am the same way with my before and most days, I cant stand the guilt because I know he loves me.
everytime i’m around him i want him… even if he is an asshole
i love you mike
i escape everthing by writing. and now my writing is chasing me back into my life. but i dont want to go back!
I hate her, i had a dream i bitch slapped her, and we where fighting. I won, i was so upset when i woke up. I wish she would just die for no good reason!
I know theres a lot of people out there just like me
Alone
Self-distructive
and about to die
its true horrible experiences make horrilbe people…..we just want love and answeres..
my best friend in the world and i have planned out our whole life together when we’re getting married.
we planned our marriage, houses, children, jobs, dogs, etc. i love it all
the one thing he doesnt know is that i actually want him to ask me to marry me at age 24 just like our plans say
I lie so much I’m starting to believe myself.
I deeply cut my lip so whenever I smile I feel pain.
I cut my hair as short as a man’s so I can run my fingers though and feel like I’m running through the boyfriend I never had’s hair.
Some times when I have fingering myself, I wish someone would walk in on me.
I can convice my self of anything. my imagination runs amok.
I am falling in love with my brother. He is falling in love with me too. We’ve had oral sex.
I am tired of having so many secrets but i don’t even know where to start.
i am a secret
and i am lonely
and i am alone.
and there is no one like me
left in this world.
i am so scared.
I am so tired of trying….
my asthma has ruined my life and my sister’s life. I’m going to kill myself so my sister doesn’t have to deal with it anymore and can finally have a life to live of her instead of always having to take care of her little sister. it’s gonna kill her when i die, but it will set her free and let her live too. i love her too much to let her suffer and die along with me. good luck in life m. i will miss you.
Please don’t die. Not only will you kill your sister’s heart and soul, you will also kill everyone who had an once of love for you. Even the people that might hate you will cry for you. Death is the not answer. Show your sister you love her and aprecciate her. She loves you.
Don’t kill yourself. Please. She takes care of you because she loves you. All she’s done for you, and you repay her by killing yourself and destroying her? If you love her, you won’t do such a thing. And life has so much in store for you.
his girlfriend makes me want to slit my wrists
I wish i could tell him how much i still love him. We were only together for a short time and he decided we were moving too fast and that we should be friends…right after he told me he loved me. All i want is to spend my every minute with him and make him laugh and smile the way he does to me when i do get a chance to hang out with him. He will never know though – i could never tell him im still not over him, i would lose his friendship. it makes my heart ache everytime i think about him and my throat closes up. i know he won’t read this so i can say it here…i love you Wade – still and always
He figured it out. I figured out that I didnt love him and now, its really over. I think Im in shock cause I dont know how to feel.
Sometimes I TRY to get pregnant. He doesn’t know. Sometimes I pretend his baby sister is our baby. I wish she was! Everynight I lay in bed thinking about my future babies: Truth? I will NEVER have my own :'(
I can’t remember anything that happened to me in middle school.
My dad calls me a worthless piece of shit.
I cry when someone close to me insults or ignores me.
My family does nothing but yell at me.
I do absolutely horrible in school.
But, I am the happiest person alive, because I have someone who loves me with all his heart, mind, body, and soul. And I love him just as much.
Don’t give up just because you’re feeling lost, alone, confused. Don’t commit suicide just because you feel like death is the only way. I know you have the possibility of pulling through, because I know I did. Nothing in the past can touch my spirit now.
i ruined someone’s life and in ruining her life, took away any chance of a different life she had. i didn’t feel guilty then. but now i do, when someone has taken that chance from me. the sad thing is, if they hadn’t i still wouldn’t feel bad. i’d give anything to take it back and give her a different life.
you ever feel that you’ve gotten so far under thats there is no way you can get back ontop? well lets just say that i did.
he and i were doing so well together and then he brings up summer and i thought he wanted us to break up so i let us. but the truth is he didnt want me to hook up with anyone else while he was away. i regret saying “no we cant stay together” it was the biggest mistake of my life and now i want him back but he’s already got a girl in his life… how could this have happened so quickly?
it’s not fair
my parents are divorced
my sisters wont talk to my dad
but he’s the one paying for my acting so i have to
i’m put in the hardest place between my mom&sisters against my dad
and i hate it
yesterday i had to watch him by himself and it killed me
everytime i have to choose i die alittle inside
its not fair to me
i hurt the people around me
so now i refuse to get close to anyone…
i’m so lonely that it hurts
you’re engaged?
i could say things like, “you’re too young, you dont know her well enough, you’re making a mistake”. all those things are true…
but the truth is, if you asked me to marry you i would.
i will always be waiting for you.
My friends are slowly leaving me because of my boyfriend and his friend. I always suspect my boyfriends lieing to me or going to cheat when hes away just like my ex did. i want to lose weight. I cut myself but lie to people when they ask if i do. i think about suicide and write suicidal poems. i fear i have a mental disorder. i dont get alone with anyone in my family. i think my boyfriend loves his best guy friend more than me…i know im pathetic…
I think you should break up with your boyfriend if you dont trust him. Just a suggestion. I guess I really dont know the whole story though… I really hope that things get better for you soon, becuase you deserve it, no matter what you’ve done. At least, I think that you do.
I love a married man who I threw away when I had the chance. Every day I plot to get him back.
i wish you would just ask
how the fuck i am.
just so i would know that
you give a damn about me.
i have a shit life. i have no one to blame for it but myself. i shouldnt have told her that i was bulimic, i ruined it and she wont even talk to me now. i havent heard from her in 2 months. she was the one who kept me from dying whenever i felt like it. she kept me hanging on. and now that i dont have her, i have to rely on myself to keep alive.
you know who you are. if this has ruined our friendship im sorry. i really am. so i leave you with this—i love you so much, you dont know all that you have done for me, you were my angel. i hope one day i will be every bit as wonderful you are.
when i read about bulimics i wish i could do that to be skinny.
But i hate throwing up.
I’m trying hard to let you go. I try handing my love to someone else. I try. Luvox is making me sick. I want to call you. I want the prelude in my driveway. I want to kiss you and play with your ears. I want to be her. I want to be her. i want to be her. Please don’t leave me here. Not like this. Please. The secret, the real secret is I’m not seventeen. I’m not seventeen forever. And I hate myself for that.
I’m really hurting here. People, people like my cousin and my Grandfather, and many of you, — you say you have a life so LIVE it. Go through the pages in this one. How do you let go? I’m not going to play those cards and list all the dramatics but they are there. They truly are. How do I heal? Is it in God? Is it in me? Where is it? Because right now just being in this body hurts so fucking bad I want to smash my head through my window. Knowing from just a baby to now all they’ve wanted to do was get inside of me… bend me over and fuck my insides out and the one the ONE person the ONE person who was decent left. I would leave me to. I can’t even stand myself right now. I hurt so bad right now. Everything. I hurt for all of you. I hurt when I hear a baby cry in the restaurant. I can’t eat. I can’t eat in public because my uncle I need more than some website to vent this on. I’m not ok.
I’M NOT OK and THAT SCARES ME.
So there will be someone who says, “who is always ok?” Of course you’re right. Of course everyone is right. 123. It’s easy, right? Just to think like that.
I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to do this anymore. So STOP. Right?
That’s the answer, right?
fine.
Just as easily as they bend me over and tear it out I can just as easily turn around and feel absolutely nothing.
feel absolutely nothing.
starting.
now.
I want to know though, you, you who runs this site do you enjoy reading these? Are you really getting your Phd.? What DO YOU get out of this? Do you make money sell our emails to spam am I going to wake up with spam in my mail? Who knows.
Who cares.
Remember.
I stopped.
Right.
Now.
He bent me over and fucked my brains out. I wish I could stop.
i escape everthing by writing. and now my writing is chasing me back into my life. but i dont want to go back!
I wish i was happy
I cant listen to sad songs
I would love a relationship
I wish I wasnt treated as a whore
I wish there was someone out there who would like to get to know the real me
Im sick of this false smile
Sometimes…..I wish I was dying
I feel so alone. I’m surronded by people and I feel alone. That scares me.
I’ve fallen for him… I think i love him, but he loves her. I should give up, I know it is useless.. but I can’t. Everytime he comes online, everytime I get to talk to him my day is so much better.
Why can’t he love me not her?
I’m getting too obessed with him, sometimes I lay awake at night wondering if he ever thinks of me, but I know he doesn’t and it kills me inside.
My friends… well I can hardly call them that. We’ve grown apart. They don’t understand me, don’t even make the effort half the time. I always listen to their problems but they NEVER seem to have the time for me, I just want to be able to talk to someone about how I feel and I can’t, so I turn to this anonymous (sp?) website. Only one of my friends makes the effort to understand. I want to say thank you to her. Thanks, you’ll never realise how much it means to me.
Even then I don’t tell her everything.
I still don’t think I’m over the bullying I suffered at my last school. And that was 5 years ago. I think it screwed me up more than I thought it had. None of my friends know about the bullying, I wanted to blank it out from my life.. But I don’t think it worked. I’m so over sensitive about everything now, I always jump to conclusions. I have a very negative view on things. I wish I could be more posative.
I want to help each and every person who has posted here. I can’t bear other people to be unhappy. It makes me upset that there is little I can do. I honestly hope things get better for all of you.
xx
Why am I such a fucking cunt? What did I do? What?
Olivia I thought your post was a direct jab at the one above it, I’m sorry if I misinterpreted… I think you could see why though. Sorry!
Oh thats ok, I was just sort of relating to it, I cried when I read it…
my best friend forgot about me and now hangs out with the pageant queen… and i’m mad at myself for not being good enough for her.
I’m going to draw a
picture
A picture with a
twist
I’ll draw it with a
razor blade
I’ll draw it on my
wrist
And with every slit
i take
My toubles disappear
I don’t hear the voices
in my head
I hear them in my
ear
………July 23….i die
i don’t know what to do anymore.
I want to make this pain disappear…
Havent spoken to him for a week but it feels like a year.
I don’t know if I can cope much longer, when i do speak to him it feels as if he would rather be somewhere else. I wish I knew how he felt.
If boys are that complecated I would hate to be a boy figuring out a girl.
On top of which, I think i’m failing all my exams.. When he was on at night I used to talk to him and forget my worries, now he isnt and all I do is panic..
I wish my parents would get a divorce
because my mom drinks
and my dad deserves better
amazing hate,
My friend was in that situation – only it was her father tha drank. Her parents did get a divorce, and now she only sees her father very occasionally.
I hope things sort themselves out for you.
i’m in love with a guy and i absolutely wish he would ask me out this summer. he backed out… and didn’t before. he has to know that i care for him. i saw him last night and there were so many times i wanted ot just tell him how i felt… but i was too afraid. i believe the last thing i said to him was a simple ‘bye.’ it’s so hard to figure out guys but i would hate to be a guy trying to figure out a girl.
Oh my god so many people here comment
about loosing a boyfriend or girlfriend
or have some kind of trouble with them.
well some people arent even lucky enough
to have a boy/girlfriend. so just stop
whinning and thank god that you don’t
get beaten or raped every night….
just get over it and find a real problem to complain about!-you act like the
whole worlds against you, like your the most
depressed person in the world, but you dont even know…so just suck it up and get over it!
some people