I can’t remember who told me about PostSecret but it’s become one of my favorite blogs. Each entry consists of a postcard that someone sent the curator to post. They are beautiful postcards with intriguing confessions.
post secret
sex with my last girlfriend made me sick
its been over a year since she and i broke up
now that im with my new girlfriend
im afraid to have sex with her
well be together a year in january
i love her so much
were you surprised when you found my secret in your book?
i find it fun to see how many guys i can kiss in one night
i lied about being a virgin. because i dont no wether i was raped or not.
im addicted to you and scared to be with out you im going away for 6 days and im terrified coz you wont be there
i don’t know if i’m happy with him
i should be, he’s all i ever wanted
i love him, i know for sure
but i’m not sure if i’m happy.
i need attention, i need a lot.
i tell people im a virgin, but i’m really not.
i still think of dying everyday.
sometimes, i think i hate all my friends.
its the same lost feeling i went thru a very long time ago, so lost, so hopeless.
lonliness drills a hole in the heart and brain.
if only i could just let go of everything im trying so fucking hard for and holding on so dearly.
i wanna hurt myself once again like i used to do, but i cant afford to get found out.
i miss the pain.
and omg.
cant you see that its YOU i love.
ive cheated on him 5 times…
slept with another guy at least once, maybe twice
i cant even remember
i want out of this relationship
but he loves me so much
i cant hurt him
theres not enough on this planet to help
x
i dont want to go.
ive wanted this, to see you, for more than a YEAR.
but now im over you.
and i have to go back, miss the dance, miss the friends, miss my birthday
and SEE YOU.
the one i never want to see again.
you hurt meso bad.
but no one knows that.
I have been texting a married man in work, his wife sits close to me. I really want to be with his brother who is also married? My Ex is a junkie… How sad am I???
My parents cancelled a vacation because I was sick the day before we were scheduled to leave.
I will never forgive myself for being sick.
I often say a whole lot about how fed up I am with everything and everyone, but sometimes I wonder if it’s only because I think a lot of people should be fed up with me.
I speak a lot of contradiction,
I think I’ve made up my mind about everything.
I’m only 15.
the cheap, plastic, two dollar bracelet you bought for me today at hot topic, is the best christmas gift i have ever gotten.
I went back to see my family. While there I got engaged to an exboyfriend who ive been in love with the last 6 years. I came back and broke up with my boyfriend and in 2 months he will move out and live with me then we will be married. Ive never been happier
I don’t feel anything but the pain in my body and that pain in my body makes me forget about the pain in my heart. If I have a heart attack at 23…
I’m 25 now.
I don’t have real friends. I’m beginning not to care any more. I miss my cat and I cried so hard last night because I know that no one will ever love him as much as I did. I would do anything to get him back, but I am afraid that it would hurt my friend who I gave him to, feelings. I’m terrified of parasites and bugs.
I cut my hair and I am afraid that I look bad now.
I miss my Grandpa and I wish more than anything I was with him right now. Please let me dream about him tonight so I will stop wanting to die just to be with him again.
I am starting to study religion and it helps but what helps the most are the pills that I don’t and won’t take anymore.
I’m clean now.
and I hate myself.
I LOVE PEOPLE WHO LOVE LIVING!!!
alskjdlaksh
shh.
go to sleep.
*go to sleep*
I’m a psycho.
you’re a psycho.
I’m a psycho.
you’re a psycho.
(go to sleep)
*go to sleep*
and now that we’re not talking, I’m happier. But what I’m worried about is that when I die, you won’t know.
and you won’t know.
and I can’t call you to tell you.
so you won’t know.
and they won’t tell you.
you won’t know.
(go to sleep)
looks like someone needs medication and a bracelet to make her feel safe again.
(don’t hurt yourself)
it’s not as fun as it looks
(yes it is)
THE PAIN THE CHOSE ME NEVER BROKE ME
I’m STILL HERE.
STILL ALIVE.
(go to sleep)
go to sleep.
I feel as though i’m going insane.
I’ve cut myself twice.
Once when i was 13, again when i was 14 where i promised myself it was the last time.
I started again now, and sad thing is…i realized how much i enjoyed it, and how much i missed that feeling.
I’ve been bellemic for half a year now, and it just seems to be getting worst, i can’t seem to help myself, everytime i think i’m going to stop it just gets worst that i’ve just stopped thinking and it feels so natural to me.
I fucking hate my family, i hate who they are, i hate who they’ve made me, i hate everything they did to me, they took away everyone i love.
I take out everything on my friends, and inside i just want someone to care and to understand me, but no one does, no one knows all my secrets and at this moment it’s like they never will.
I want to go to a place that i can call home, be in a place where i can truely be happy, but what is happiness? I haven’t been happy in so long, i wish i knew what it was like. I wish i could stop cutting. I wish i could stop blaming myself.
i look at you and im………..happy it hurts so much how much i love you and how the love returned is not the same ………..how i will miss you that smile that laugh that face how no matter what you make me smile and how safe you make me feel…………oh how i will miss that and i hope you miss it to…………..its amazing that i cant lie to you my life is made up of lies but you are the only person i cant lie to i will miss you my darling be happy and i will be waiting on the other side for you in our house
every thing changed last night oh how it changed and now i am scared that things will not be the same i already feel weired around you ……………but thankyou for last night i love you
Ive posted before.
Ive decided that more of my secrets need to be shared. I figure that Ill be able to breathe easier.
– My mom has spent $28,000.00 on inpatient therapy and it hasnt helped.
– I slept with a boy because he was the first person to say I was gorgeous, then he slept with my best friend.
– Ive developed a drug habit. Im scared that Ill never be able to love a person the way I do substances.
– I have fallen for my older brothers best friend and band mate. My brother has stated that he hates the idea and wants it to stop. Tyler and I hung out last night and pretended we were dating.
– I dont sleep as much as I tell people I do.
– I come from family with money but I steal things from any where I go.
– I leave my belongings in peoples room as an excuse to see them again
Sometimes i walk alone at night hoping someone will hurt me.
fuck.it.all.
fuck.her.
I am happy.
i AM happy.
i am HAPPY.
Believe me baby.
Its all because of you.
Not the manatees.
Im going to stop cutting myself because i found a computer game that makes me happy and takes away the spare time. how sad is that?!?! when i get bored of it my legs will pay the price.
I do the same thing. Right now I’m about to play a computer game so that I can take my mind off of the horrible things.
when you start to get bored of the game, find another game to play or read a book… find some music.
i understand your pain, samantha – please don’t cut. be safe. seak wisdom and you shall find her.
all of you are in my thoughts and prayers whatever you believe.
take care
My boyfriend wants to marry me, I want to leave.
I used to cut myself but not too deep so it wouldn’t scar.
When I go to the bar, I secretly want to go home with a much older man, just for his money.
I want a line of cocaine right now.
I want to tell my dad I’m sorry for the way I was, I just can’t bring myself to do it.
I am finishing college to enter a career I don’t even want to be doing.
I would give anything to lose 20 pounds, though I don’t need to.
My father is a preacher, I want to pose for playboy.
I hate church people, there’s no way they are really that happy, but I smile and act the same way.
I cheated on my ex husband with 3 different men, just because I wanted good sex, in the meantime I had an abortion and I wasn’t sure who’s it was. I am remarried now and have a new baby, If my new husband ever found out how awful I was he would not respect me. I love our little family so much.
I swore after i crash my car into the ditch that night, almost taking my friends and my life, i’d never drink and drive away, but i’m starting to find myself falling into the same old habbits and wondering what’s it going to take
i’m the sluttest virgin i know…
I wonder if i know you
I made a bulletin on myspace full of fake secrets, so that i could type my real secret and no one would know which one it was.
But i keep hoping he’ll know.
i hate that you are there and i cant talk to you im so scared that your not gonna be there any more and your the only thing thats keeping me together. i hate that she has you and treats you like shit and i hate that your a bastard and do the same with every girl but i still want to be yours i know we need space but that space scares me i hope we can get through this merry xmas hon i miss you
Every time I’m riding in the car, I pray that someone will hit me and kill me.
I’m tired of laughing off every time one of you tells me I’m weird.
All I want for Christmas is to meet someone who can carry a conversation with me.
Music is the only thing I can count on.
I daydream constantly to avoid reality.
“I pity none of you. Most of your probalems are at your own fault. If you truly want happiness like you all say, then change the bad. relax. breath. stop lieing. i am not perfect. i know this. i accept it. but who is. if you are truly unhappy, change it. anyone can be happy and love. it all depends, do you want to?”
dis, i wonder if you know that i started posting secrets on here again. and ive been trying to change the bad, but i dont know how. also, i want to know, the one after my first post here, did you see that?
i wonder if you know i feel depressed.
im scared and alone and i dont know what to do any more
i hate you but love u so mcuh i used to think the love out wieghed the hate but i dont think it does i think i just hate you. Help.
im going shopping today at 5. im hoping more than anything ill run into you, just so i can give you that hug and kiss i owe you.
i think what will hurt more than not seeing you all winter break is going back to school and answering when someone ask if i hung out with you, “no.”
ifonly,
if you want to email me you can. and we can talk
dlarkin@mugglenet.com
i wish id never found post secret im addicted to it. if u knew wat i felt when i think of the changing cards on a sunday. i check friday and saturday in hope frank warrens changed them earlier. i even went on during christmas
i said that i would never talk to you again…and then you called and now you are all that i think of!! Ever song that is on the radio and most of my favourite things remind me of you!
I hate that you have done this to me…i just hope that you dont walk out of my life again cause i love you still! my friends are right you are going to ruine me this time!
KARA FUCKS HERSELF WITH A RULER
ive made up so many stories about my past, i dont remember which ones are real and which ones are fake.
ill do anything to be the girl i make myself to be in my imagination.
no one understands how fat i feel. and how i dont believe them when they say im skinny. i dont do it for attention. i do it because i really think im fat.
i dont even know what type of person i want to become anymore.
i wish my life was more drama-filled so i could have a reason for my depression.
i wish i could say “i love you” more
id do anything to start over.
all i want to do is cry curl up and die im scared that im going crazy i feel nothing but hate for her and wish she would go away i feel that i dont belong anywhere whats the point any more
when we go back to school, im planning to dress my best, and do a lot of other things, so you will pay more attention to me, in hopes that it make me feel better about you not being able to spend any time with me.
and im afraid that i will act kind of fake/cheesey-suprised because you didnt get me what i really wanted for christmas above anything else (and that was to spend time with you).
you have no idea how much i wished that i will be able to see you, and how much i wished that you would just show-up on my doorstep to wish me a merry christmas or a happy new year. hell, you didnt even send me or leave me a a message or a comment on myspace.
it killed me last night to talk to you when everybody else at your house was having fun, including you.
im depressed, and do you know what? our conversations on the phone leave me in tears, because i have no idea when ill be able to talk to you again. and you have done nothing to help my depression. i thought i could count on you to make me happy, but instead it just feels like youve turned your back on me.
i dont know why im blaming you.
If he doesnt date me because ive done things with other guys,
im going to sink back into my depression,
and lose all that confidence i gained in the last two years.
God please listen.
Sabby,
because its easy.
and i don’t mean that in a bad way.
just_until_december,
i know you dont mean that in a bad way. its funny though, cause later on after i posted that, he called me and i confessed almost all that i posted here. i felt relieved, but he also blamed himself. but we talked about it and he understood that it wasnt his fault.
and thanks for your sympathy. it really does mean a lot to me.
Sabby,
let me first start by saying I’m glad you talked to him.
my reason behind saying that its easiest is that as humans its easier to blame someone for something because its easier to forgive them than it is to forgive yourself.
I’m glad you talked to him. It takes a lot of courage to admit our secrets to the ones we love
aja,
if he doesn’t date you because of things you’ve done with other guys, he isn’t worth it. The past is the past, you can’t get it back and so we just move on and the past should not matter to him.
i got told some adivce yesterday
‘if hes stupid enough to leave you be smart enough to walk away’
i was blown away by this advice from a friend who usually doesnt not come up with anything at all like this. i appreciated it understood it was helped by it yet i still no when i see him tommorow i wont be ableto help myself from apologsing (of which i dont no what for) and trying to make up again.
im bright at maths and science etc. but why am i being such a fool. i can realise in my head im a fool but when it comes to it i just cant do anything else.
Samantha,
you are not a fool.
go ahead and apologize.
apologize for him being stupid and him being the fool.