I can’t remember who told me about PostSecret but it’s become one of my favorite blogs. Each entry consists of a postcard that someone sent the curator to post. They are beautiful postcards with intriguing confessions.
post secret
Whenever I have ever dated a boy, I lead him on without realizing it and then got trapped in a relationship with him. Even when I truly believe that I like a boy, I really don’t; it’s all about the conquest of getting him to like me, of feeling like I own him. Because I fool myself every time, I am afraid that I’m never going to REALLY love someone that way. I don’t even know if I can.
after 4 months i still don’t know if he really likes me…
…but i’m still sleeping with him.
My best friend mentally abuses me, and I often think I hate her.
Yet, I still can’t leave.
i did more than just kiss him.
we’ll never be the same again, and i’ll never tell you.
now i don’t know what i want.
i’m sorry.
I found a guy that really treated me right and because I was scared to get close to him and I was scared that he would hurt me so I cheated on him with 3 other guys. I broke his heart. I even promised him I would never hurt him but I did. The only thing I am good at is pushing people away.
i asked him last night if he wanted to be my deb partner.. he said absoloutly… i was over the moon , exstatic
… a hour ago he told me he doesnt want to do it anymore because he found out he has to wear a suit.
…im still crying.
i want him to love me so bad i’d kill my self jus to see if he cares.
I think you’re a dork, but thats ok–because I know it’s hereditary.
To me:
If he really did want to go with you, and he’s not just using the suit thing as an excuse, engage in a little subterfuge and see if you can get him to go out with you on a date where he doesn’t have to wear a suit.P.S. don’t kill yourself over a guy. They really aren’t worth it. If you believe in reincarnation, think of it this way: if you kill yourself, you just have to do it all over again.
im scared to death that i wont be able to live without him next year… im scared of being just myself again, me w/out him… im scared he will move on, and im scared i will move on.. and im scared if we don’t both move on… i love him so much it hurts sometimes
i wish you had slit my throat like a second set of lips that night.
i lied to my girlfriend and told her i had a drug problem to get attention.It turns out i did, i liked it, and it made me feel special when she cried over me.
no one knows im gay
I make black jokes… but I really wish I was 6’9″ and black.
I go out with a homosexual male just to get with one of his girlfriends.
Ive been inlove wit my bestfriend for over 2 years. She has no clue. She always askes me for advice about guys, and i cant help but tell her i dotn leik any guy she picks. The worst part is i know the thought of me and her has never crossed her mind.
ive never had a gf durring valintines day for this reason, and its the reason i dont commit wit anyone else.
happy valintines day
ok. you know, i sit around sometimes and think about how shitty my life is. its been terrible for a very lnog time and i cant escape it. there is someone on the earth whos life is a hell of a lot worse than mine..and yours. stop complainnig and feeling sorry for yourselves. you will fall in love again, there are bigger problems. im sorry if i sound like a bitch but you deserve it, get over yourselves
I want to be hospitalized for anorexia.
I don’t like my boyfriend because he likes me.
He took away the fun in cutting because he said he likes it.
I force myself to cry because I don’t understand why I can’t.
It was a one night stand and all I know is his first name…
Im pretty sure I fell in love that night.. I cant get him out of my head.
i put up with everything he ever put me through, because i loved him. He left me twice and told me he loved me at the airport.
now that i’m with someone who appreciates me, he wants me back.
i tell my current that i never do it, but i have my doubts.
I want to be inlove again. I want someone to love me again. I’m so tired of being alone…
In general I’m happy but this is the fifth Valentines day that I know I won’t receive anything. I am very good looking-someone told me that even just yesterday-but when I asked him why I don ‘t have a man-even he couldn’t answer. I’m contemplating online or speed dating but I feel it’s for ‘losers’……..
“i put up with everything he ever put me through, because i loved him. He left me twice and told me he loved me at the airport.
now that i’m with someone who appreciates me, he wants me back.
i tell my current that i never do it, but i have my doubts.”
the same thing happened to me….i decieded not to go back to him…..i stayed with my boyfriend…now im alone and i know it was the biggest mistake i ever made aside from falling in love with the man who will never love me.
to lonely heart,
Dont give up! Im alone again as well, but i know ill find somone when im not looking for a gf. i have never had a gf for valentines and i wont this year. But i know that things will get better.
goodluck and if u need somone to talk to im here to help
Even though i’m skinny enough that people actually come up frequently to tell me so, I still have problems with my weight. 5’7″ and 110. It disgusts me, although every day I truthfully tell my overweight friends that they’re not fat.
I wish I had the courage to do something about it. I’ve pretty much cut off lunch to myself, but now my friends are worried.
I know there’s something wrong with me.
And I don’t mind.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who loves to swim in the beautiful melancholy, the dark delicious misery of life.
I was raped a lot of times when i was small and even though it was digusting it felt kinda good.
Everytime i see someone beautiful i wish i was them and i pretend to myself that iam and start imagining what it would be like.
Im in love with the same guy for two years we dated a while then he dated my best friend. I love him so much i think about him every minute but we don’t talk and im crazy about him im obssed its a sickness.
I always pretend that i had a better life. My childhood was dark and depressing. I used to get beaten when i was a child. We were really poor and had alomst nothing to eat.
I wish i was someone else
I don’t love my boyfriend anymore, but I stay with him and I’m not sure why. Maybe I’m afrais to start over.
It’s never good enough for them.
I am anorexic and go to pro-ana websites all the time.
The only reason why I continue to starve myself is because I need to lose enough weight that my parents will actually notice me.
Unless I get down to 86lbs, it will just be a phase to them.
i’ve gone to church since i was born. eighteen years. my family is the one that everyone in my church looks up to. my dad is a deacon and i sing in the praise band every sunday. i was president of the youth group. i go to church camp every summer and winter. i’ve given testimonies and spoken about my faith in front of the whole church.
and i dont believe in god. i never have.
and yet i’m scared that i’m going to hell
kelsey is not my real name.
i went to college far away from the rest of my friends and now i feel like we’re not friends anymore. they don’t really call me when i come back to town, which is like three times a year. they made spring break plans without me. it makes me so sad.
i’m with the most wonderful boy ever. he’s smart, caring, dedicated, focused, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, believes in God, really cute, athletic, and everyone likes him.
he’s perfect. and he really cares about me.
the thing is, i dont know why he does. i’m not a good person.
and i dont love him.
everyone thinks i am really smart. i graduated magna cum laude from my high school and am on the dean’s list at NYU.
the thing is, i cheat on everything. i cheated on my SATs (i made a 1500). i cheat on my papers, and i make As. every good point i make in classes, i’ve looked up online the night before.
i dont believe i am smart.
because i’m not.
i’m so good at pretending to be someone else that i dont even know what i’m really like.
I starve myself, just to make myself sick.
I drink, Because i want to be closer to my father.
I smoke because I like being in control of my own death.
I’m avoidant, confused, angry, and violent.
…All i’ve ever wanted is someone to love me.
Someone to break down the wall, and give me hope.
But i’m too afraid to take the risk, and end up at the bottom….again.
Everyone thinks i’m joking when i say i want to rule a world of corpses.
…The only reason the people at my school are still alive, is because i know my dead grandfather would hate me if i did it.
I am sitting all of four feet away from him right now, and yet that distance is further than I can reach him across. He doesn’t know how much I want him to notice me and how much I want the reassurance that he still cares and still loves me, and that I am not in bad graces with him, although I know he is busy and so I ask for nothing.
I spend far too much time worrying how to be perfect for him because I am still insecure- I lost everyone I ever tried to love before, and I have been hurt so many times I am scared he is just next to do it. And I am afraid that I love him so much that it can never end well.
I have conquered so many things in my life to get here, and now I realize how much farther I have to go. I just want to be told that it is okay and that I am alright.
It took a long time to get this far. And there is not a single day where I wouldn’t run back to it if I had an excuse- except that I know he wouldn’t be able to bear it. And that I still have to see if I can be better than my past.
It wouldn’t be so bad to tell my bestfriend I was Bi, if the next part of the story was that I’ve been in love with her since the day I saw her and always will be.
I just broke up with him. It’s Valentine’s Day. I feel AWESOME.
I’ve been reading your diary for years.
I don’t love you anymore but I get jealous when I see you with your new boyfriends.
i really do hate my mom.
im not just saying it.
its true.
Im 18 years old i feel fat every time i look in the mirror….im jelous of mostly all of my friends…i want so badly to be loved but im allways so alone…one of my best friends killed himself everyday i wish it had been me who had that strength to kill myself…i have only ever loved one person and he has moved on and i cant….i have doens o many bad things in my life and i just want to be a better person….i would do anything for someone to love me im so scared of dyin alone….i think if i had someone i would finnay be able to kill my slef…i drink to feel better….i used to have sex with guys so that they would like me that plan backfired….please let god give me the strength to overcome my pain and find someone that will trully love me no matter what i have been through
its valentines day. im 16. ive never been kissed. but i very goodlooking. and lots of people have asked me out but im afraid ill never find anyone as good as the guy i passed up. im gonna image my date tonight is him.
I LOVE YOU.
I love you to infinity. I love you most. I love you once for each freckle you have. Just seeing that you’re online makes me smile. When I see Jane in your old jacket I get really excited until I figure out it’s not you. Whenever I get creeped out that there’s someone in my house, or whenever I’m thinking about her, I pretend you’re with me and it makes me feel safe. I love you so much I’d lie awake listening to you snore just so I could sleep near you. If life were a cartoon, my tongue would hang down to the ground permanently and my eyes would pop out every time I saw you. I wish there were a stronger word than love, because if there were, I’d say it to you. If you died I’d kill myself. I lied – YOU’RE my favorite person in your house. But I love your every imperfection. I love everything about you.
But you’re already going out with someone…
My best friend.
I’m sorry for kissing you when you’re still going out with her, but when you touched me like that, it felt perfect.
my new boyfriend is perfect. i could not dream up anyone better.
so why do i think about my exboyfriend all the time?
I love him, but I always have to pick a fight… just to make him say how much he loves me…
im leaving this town for good. i keep telling everyone that its because of family and that i wanna chase my dreams right away.
they were all lies.
Im leaving to get away from my friends, ive tried and did everything i can for them. Sometimes they care about me sometimes they don’t it confuses me. It hurts me. Ive never been really loved by anyone in my life. Ive always loved eveyone. I feel so unapreciated that sometimes i wanna kill myself. I can’t take this anymore. Even though i love them with all my heart.
I want to start a new life, i want to be someone somebody and somewhere.
im leaving this town for good. i keep telling everyone that its because of family and that i wanna chase my dreams right away.
they were all lies.
Im leaving to get away from my friends, ive tried and did everything i can for them. Sometimes they care about me sometimes they don’t it confuses me. It hurts me. Ive never been really loved by anyone in my life. Ive always loved eveyone. I feel so unapreciated that sometimes i wanna kill myself. I can’t take this anymore. Even though i love them with all my heart.
I want to start a new life, i want to be someone somebody and somewhere.
To : thenutcrakcer
you cant outrun yourself. i tried it myself, and all it led to was even more problems, and causing more pain to people that were innocent in it all.
i wish you the best.
The say that in the kingdom of the blind the one eyed man is king…. so in this land of people feeling sorry for themselves and making up lies to feel important .. are those who remain truthful kings and queens or are we just as pathetic because we feel the need to tell everyone about our little issues and hope that someone will respond …. What is the point? everyone has had a hard life.. life is hard… that’s the truth… your burdens are not mine and mine are not yours but all are burdens and some people create their burdens so they will have an excuse to be pitiful… rather than a world of people trying to one up each other we are trying to be just a little bit lower.. a little bit more needy a little bit more pitiful… SO who wins the feel sorry for me award?My vote goes to the kid who is too poor and hungry and working to hard to make sure he or she has a roof ofer their head to be able to afford a computer. Look at yourself… it really can’t be that bad.. take off the black nail polish … wash your face… change your clothes and get up off your butt and stop feeling sorry for yourself…. it’s life and it’s only what you make it.. you have the power to make it dark and gray or you can make is bright and beautiful…. the choice is yours but stop being so self centered and get over it… your life sucks and will continue to suc until you get over it, get on with it, and make it more than it already is.
i have been very joyous for the past 1+ week, nothing i have ever been over the past 3 years. n im starting to be creeped out by myself. the feeling of happiness is juz so weird. n i dun even know the reason y im happy, im not in love nor anything.
but yet i know this is all too gd, cos i know sooner or later i will fall back to the sinking depression i have been in for 3 years.
this is contradictory.
i hate myself for being me.
I’m in love with someone besides my wife.
My family thinks my boyfriend’s gay, but loving him makes my life complete.
for the first time, im in a relationship that i feel i could stay in forever…my girlfriend is the mos tincredible person ever, and has been since i first talked to her in class…she might not be perfect, but that’s how i see her…i’d tell her i love her, but im afraid of what might happen