matrix build-up

I refuse to read anything about The Matrix: Reloaded prior to seeing the film tomorrow night. I won’t read reviews, analysis or even watch the trailers online (although i have seen them in theatres). I know it’s going to blow my mind, but i don’t want to pre-think the movie so as to maximize my joy tomorrow.

That said, i’m told that i must read “The Gospel According to Neo” and thus, i’ll blog it to save it for tomorrow.

I have to admit that i haven’t been so excited for a movie opening since 8 Mile. OK, so i have a bit of an odd slant on movie attendance. First, i try to see all movies that i desperately want to see on opening night; i never read about them ahead of time if i can avoid it. I feel the hype, but i refuse to educate myself about it. I try to see movies in a location that will maximize the audience along any appropriate dimensions for the movie.

I think that going to the movies is not simply to see a film on the big screen, but to see it in the context of the audience most obsessed with the film. Thus, i spend just as much time watching the movie as paying attention to reactions. I come early enough to watch the crowd. I sit quietly in the theatre so as to overhear what audience members are talking about. I always go to the bathroom and take as long as socially acceptable so as to hear folks’ reactions. I love going to see any movie that appeals to specific subset of the population, preferably a subculture, preferably one with obsessive followings that coincide with the movie. Thus, i was ecstatic to see 8 Mile when it came out… in Revere, Mass. The audience was filled with white hiphop teens who are obsessed with Eminem, who are middle class but see Eminem’s struggle as similar to their own.

Of course, nothing will ever top the opening of Quills. Wednesday before Thanksgiving, special opening in Manhattan… uptown. I was the youngest audience member by about half and the poorest by a lot more than half. When i went to the bathroom afterwards, i lingered for so long, drooling in my stall as upperclass socialites of Manhattan talked about the validity of the representation of the Marquis and sadomasochism in comparison to books, other movies and stories; this was all voiced in that fabulously snooty New York accent with a clear knowledge of SM. I couldn’t get the off my face for weeks.

Anyhow, the next two days of Matrix showings should be quite fun!

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why i despise clubs

I’ve been on house arrest all week, writing a paper, but after spending all night Friday up writing, i needed a break on Saturday. I spent the day in Golden Gate with friends listening to music, but it was more of a chill outdoors with friends situation. Most of my friends like music, but not psytrance, so in a fit of expanding my horizons, i went out with them to a club playing house/breaks/trance. This was not the wisest of ideas because it reaffirmed my hatred of clubs and made me much less likely to try to branch out music-wise, simply because i would never want to deal with that type of crowd again. In the process of grounding my emotional reaction to the environment, it seems only reasonable to write some of my thoughts down.

When we arrived at the club, there was a huge line. Luckily, it’s San Francisco so this means simple patience in relatively mild outdoor weather. My line buddy and i just kept repeating ‘stay patient’ to one another. Unfortunately, my attempts at calmness are easily swayed by others’ anxiety and the line was filled with people bitching, moaning and otherwise producing great tension. This was only magnified by the bouncers who were certainly on a mission to confirm their masculinity. I really like nice, relaxed bouncers, but then again, they don’t get paid to be sweet. By the time i got into the club 40 minutes later, i was definitely rattled. The club was split into multiple music sections with large bars in between. In fact, i would go so far as to say that it was a very large bar with a few small areas for dancing. There was no consistent energy and the entire club felt like a collection of conflicting purposes. Some people were there to dance, some to get drunk, some to be seen, and some to get laid. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a lot of awareness about others’ motivations and thus these energies were constantly colliding and producing a very unstable state.

I tried dancing, but it was too crowded so i started wandering and talking to folks that i knew. Every time i was between people or walking, i had to deal with very predatory gazes and in a few cases, being grabbed at my shoulder to turn me around to deal with a strange man who wanted my attention. Being painfully exhausted, my feeling of safety quickly deteriorated when a very drunk guy pushed me into the men’s bathroom probably to point out an empty stall after he saw me eyeing the boys bathroom. Perhaps he was trying to be kind, but it was still aggressive and uncomfortable and i had to dart past him to get out of there.

I tracked down a friend of mine who was equally unthrilled. We both pulled our hoodies over our head and stared out at the Bay chatting at how unthrilling this environment was. She had gotten dragged along by all of us… she hates clubs, she hates dancing and i have to imagine that if this is the only version she knows (since all of her friends are into house/breaks/trance), i don’t blame her one bit. The motivating forces seemed fine in this space, but those of us who got convinced to come left shortly later.

Environment trumps everything for me. Even in my love of psytrance, i have to *really* like the DJ to go to a club (like Infected Mushroom). And for the most part, psytrance clubs don’t even get that bad… a few sketchy guys, some people who don’t seem to know why they’re there, but mostly just too many people packed into an environment to effectively dance. Although i love my music, i hate feeling trapped and usually a club gives me the feeling of being in a bird cage, unable to get away, unable to find a place just to relax for a bit and then go back to dancing.

::sigh:: And because of my crash-and-burn in participating in something new, i still don’t know whether i would enjoy dancing to my friends’ music… but i do know that i won’t just go anywhere.

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how do you use Friendster?

I’ve really enjoyed watching the Friendster meme percolate. I’m trying to get a grasp on how people are using it, why they like it, what they’re doing with it and as many anecdotes as possible that will help me grasp usage. Free free to send me your random thoughts or perhaps answer some of the questions that are floating in my head.

[updated 05/12] Good public commentaries on Friendster:
– Adam Greenfield
– An addict’s perspective by Terbo Ted

[updated 6/4] vanderwal on Ryze vs. Friendster

Continue reading →

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defending wikis

Wikis seem to becoming more and more popular. Or perhaps i’m just spending too much time entrenched in the philosophy of the social software folks. In any case, i was trying to discuss them with a friend of mine and we both have our concerns about them. Not being able to defend them and unaware of where to go for a really good and trusted defense, i decided to write to two gurus whose views fascinate me. But i’d also love to hear perspectives from anyone foolish enough to stumble on this site. Here’s what i wrote:

So, i’d love to hear your arguments of why wikis are the latest greatest social software (or pointers to folks who can defend this vantage point).

Particular issues that we’re struggling with and trying to figure out how to process…

1) History means more than persistence. When we’re collaborating offline, we leave lots of traces of our use, of our presences, etc. What is the value in a no-trace environment like wikis? How is this an advantage?

2) Social kudos often motivate people to participate. Being recognized for their voice. More importantly, it motivates folks to be more articulate, more conscientious, etc. How is it an advantage to not have voices attached with text? What is gained and lost?

3) In collaboration where everyone is motivated to “do right”, there’s little motivation to sabatage others’ efforts. But if you’ve ever seen teenagers collaborate, dear me oh my. Can we say that it is an exercise in cruelness to force collaboration on teens in middle school? How are stuctures built so as to discourage malicious intentions?

4) In collaborations, there is often a lot of rituals of getting to know one another, particularly if there is not a history of past relations. How do wikis support unknown colleagues to get involved?

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reflecting on LinkedIn

The emergence of social networks sites delights me, but i’m struggling to understand the value of LinkedIn as anything novel or specifically advantageous. My concern is that the site will immediately appeal to all of us obsessed with social networks (specifically those who love them for business purposes), but that it’s value outside of a specific subset is limited. I would *love* to be proved wrong (because i really want to see social networks become more prevalent on the web and i think that Ryze / Friendster / LinkedIn are fabulous learning opportunities). Here are my concerns…

1) LinkedIn gives public kudos to the heavy Connectors by listing them in order in the Network. This is important because social validation helps encourage the role of the Connector. The problem is that one of the best validating measures is when the Connector introduces two people who are compatible in the appropriate context. Connector validation is hidden in LinkedIn. When you want to get to know someone, you have to write them a message and then you get to see your first link towards that person. But you don’t see the path.

2) Links weaken over distance. The greater the degrees of separation, the harder it is to vouch for someone. If the connections are A-B-C-D and A wants to meet D, B & C have to decide if that’s appropriate, but that’s a much harder call than when there is only one person in between. LinkedIn makes it hard to figure out the distance.

3) You value people’s connections for different reasons, even in business land. You probably don’t trust your *amazing* HR person to recommend a programmer, while you’d love their recommendation on a sales person or something closer to their expertise. Without a viewable network, this becomes challenging to operate.

4) How does the system become trustworthy enough to be valued by all involved? When would you not do introductions when asked? What are the social consequences of such actions? If someone indicated that you are their “friend”, would you say no? Again, social consequences…

5) The profile interface is soooo limiting. When i’m hiring consultants, i use a lot more than their job experiences. I look at their skills, their educational training, their personal interests (including volunteer habits). Character is so crucial in connecting people, but the system limits one’s ability to voice that. Also, a picture is worth a thousand words.

6) Finding people is frustrating as anything. Searching simply based on location OR what they’re looking for/offering OR their industry? Actually, i have a problem with searching in general, because it makes the system appear to be a simple professional DB that limits your searching based on an assumption that you only want to meet people a few degrees apart. It’s true; i’m far more likely to hire folks a few degrees a part. But, i’m not likely to do a limited search and then see if the connections might be of interest to me. I’d be far more likely to use the system if i could limit the network and then walk through my network to see which people fit my needs. Or better yet, a big visual overview of the network, graying out all of the people who didn’t fit my needs, letting me see my first degree connectors and letting me click on people down paths i’m curious about.

OK… Tell me i’m wrong and missing the picture.

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Balancing Data Needs And Privacy

Balancing Data Needs And Privacy… Somehow, folks never come up with a balancing act that makes me feel safe and secure. Of course, it’s not terrorists that i’m worried about, but the rabid intolerant, xenophobic American culture. And perhaps my government. But, perhaps they could be called terrorists. Hmmm… perhaps we need data about our government.

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my beloved bubble

Anyone who knows me knows that Boston brought out some of the most despicable and horrid aspects of me and it made me more depressed than i’ve ever experienced, yet without any of the supports necessary to get through it in a non-destructive manner. I thought that i could deal with that wretched city long enough to get my grad degree, but i learned quickly that grad school is challenging itself and thus you must be in the most positive context imaginable to deal. I knew that i needed to be in San Francisco. Period. Grad school or not. Hell, even my MIT advisor points out my San Francisco tendencies. Well, this morning a little article reminded me of why i love my silly bubble and why i never want to leave…

It’s that odd dumbstruck jolting feeling you get as soon as you step more than 25 miles away from this most progressive and funked-out and deeply flawed and self-consciously screwy of kaleidoscopic American urban metropoli: oh my freaking God, what is happening to the world? This is what you say. To yourself. Probably.

Because suddenly you find yourself pummeled with many of those lovely bleak horrible things you’ve somehow become so inured to while living in S.F., those things you might’ve slowly come to hope don’t really exist quite so violently and vehemently anymore. But of course they do.

…

Sexism. Racism. Guns. Jingoism. Jesus fetishism. Psychopatriotism. Rampant pseudo-religious family-values faux-ethical circle jerking masquerading as Christian humility. Wal-Marts like giant florescent-lit viruses. Strip malls like a stucco plague. Ho hum, ain’t that America. It so is.

…

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let my blog meet your blog

BlogMatcher is a dating service for blogs. Well, not exactly, but it seems as though every networking tool out there is either for business or dating. Through a blog into their search and it’ll give you back a handful of blogs with similar links. How cute!

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