I can’t remember who told me about PostSecret but it’s become one of my favorite blogs. Each entry consists of a postcard that someone sent the curator to post. They are beautiful postcards with intriguing confessions.
post secret
i tell everyone lies about you, that you hurt me. and how much you hate me and i hate you. but the truth is, i love you so much it hurts. i love you more than anyone alive. and i dont want them to know im so weak.
i havent seen you in 6 months, but everytime i talk to you on the phone, its all i can do to keep from crying because i miss you so much. but i feel bad, because i know you love me too, and you have no idea what everyone i know thinks about you. i feel like our relationship is tainted, and i would give anything for it to be pure again, but i dont think it ever was. i want it to be right, but i keep lying and i cant stop. i want this to be right, but i can never tell them it was a lie. im afraid to be isolated and hated. i love you so much but not enough to tell the truth. so i wonder do i really love you?
I am so angery at you… We have been best friends for 17yrs and you just turned 30. We have been friends longer than not. This was the first birthday that I didn’t spend time with you when we were in the same state. I still sent you flowers – honoring our past. I just can’t believe that you would think I would ever do anything against your wishes. I wish I could say that this was over something huge, like an affair or something else dramatic, but this was over a STUPID vacuum. How could you think that I would use something if you’d said no? And when you said you tried to call me back later because you did not think that you had stressed in your voice how much you didn’t want me to use it. You did not once say “no” – You asked me later if I could “sense” your concern and how tense you felt… Um, No I cannot read your mind. Maybe you should work more on your Jedi mind powers. Perhaps, next time you could just tell me how you feel. By the way… even though I replaced yours with a new one (because you were CERTAIN that I had broken yours), I still use it and it works great. The reality of the situation is that I would rather have your friendship than the vacuum.
Everyone says I’m nice. I want to believe them but I’m afraid I won’t measure up to their expectations, especially my family. Sometimes I just want to hit them.
If I let myself go I will implode with the chaos.
Don’t make me.
The Format – The First Single:
“You know me
Oh you think you do, you just don’t seem to see
I’ve been waiting all this time to be something I can’t define
So let’s cause, cause a scene
Clap our hands and stomp our feet or something
Yeah something
I’ve just got to get myelf over me.
And I hate what I’ve become.”
if i could hire a hitman to kill my ex-husband and make it look like an accident so i could collect the life insurance money for the kids, i would.
he lives an hour away and never calls them, and comes to see them for a couple of hours once every other or third month when he feels a little guilty. he just generally disappoints them most of the time.
now they are teenagers and they tell me, “dad feels like a stranger to me, he doesn’t really care about us like you do”. i hate him for that.
they are wonderful kids and deserved so much more than what he gave them for love and attention.
he’s a selfish bastard that looks out for #1. i wish his pacemaker would blow up.
everyday i wish to die to live. i wish that the blade i use will cut deep enough to kill me. but im already dead.
everyday i wish to die. i wish the blade i use will cut deep enough to kill me. but im already daed.
to mommiepoos:
I feel the same way about my ex-husband. I have 3 beautiful kids, and I’m the only thing they’ve got. Their ‘father’ only sees them 2 – 3 weeks a year. He calls maybe once a month, and sometimes forgets their birthdays. He’s too busy boinking his new wife to care anything about his children. I dont’even get enough money from him a month to buy a weeks worth of groceries for them to eat. My kids are much younger (4,6,and 7) but they still know their dad is a loser. I don’t ever talk bad about him in fromt of them….it’s all what they’ve learned on their own. They call him a jerk and a liar. They say that he doesn’t care about them. The sad part is….they’re right. I’m really sorry for what you’re going through mommiepoos….I really am.
Everyone thinks I hater her now. But after almsot three years and many broken hearts at her hands I love her more today then I did then. The whole country separates us and I’m too scared to talk to her now. I ignore her and let everyone believe I hate her.
M’Lady I love you always and wich to serve you yet again, i your lowly knight Hart wish for nothing mroe but to spen the last breaths of my life with you.
I Love M**** With all my heart but I am too shy to say. She is losing interest and I dont know what to do….
i love my husband but i don’t like him very much most of the time. and i’m not in love with him. i’m in love with someone else that i can never have.
I “dated” a girl i’d only just met, it was my first and probably last lesbian experiance. Truth is I know I’m straight, but with her… I felt something there. I actually felt like I might have loved her… she moved to Tennessee. And thelast day she was at school, I skipped. Because I wanted to kiss her so bad.
to Annoyed:
I have yahoo IM … how brave are you feeling right now? shall we put it all out there… and see what happens.. see if the illusion explodes or the spell that has become our friendship will fade into memories….
I met a fabulous guy who digs me.. but Josh, he isn’t you so I’m not interested…. my sweet soldier boy,
carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
e.e. cummings
To blahblahblah,
I have yahoo also, and I am indeed very brave. I think it would be better to be left with memories rather than a mind full of questions.
wednesday would have been our 6th month.
hey mommy2, sister i can so relate too!
i’m ok, just very pissed @ him for being such a loser for ignoring his kids, and OH YEAH, do i ever know the story about him being too busy cause of the new wife.
she does not like the kids at all, when they did go there to his and her place, they said she made them feel very uncomfortable, eat foods they didn’t like, they weren’t well mannered enough, and they had to stay downstairs and watch tv most of the time so they could have “alone time” and drink beer. kids felt very shut out.
now they go only at christmas time & maybe once on thanksgiving (one year he took them to a motel for christmas, isn’t that sad??)the ex and wife#3 have a new house and i think the kids have been there 3 times in the last 2 yrs. kids don’t seem to care anymore. if he comes, that’s good, if he don’t, oh well….
but no, i’m not blaming her, no way, even tho the kids blame her for alot of his actions, and he even had the audicity to tell them, “she’s not used to having kids around, so that’s why you don’t come down very often”, (he’s passing the guilt on to her! making her the scapegoat!) and i tell them, “you know, dad makes the choices of what he does, not her” and i quit talking before i finish with “and he chooses to be with her and her family instead of coming to see you guys more often.” cause that will just hurt. they do already know it, like you say, even little ones know it and it hurts them, so they blame the new person.
but a grown man in his 50’s who’s not getting any younger could say, hey, where’s my priorties? what is important in this life? and if he thinks it’s a trip to mexico when he coulda took that time and took his kids camping, then he is sooo wrong.
it’s ironic, isn’t it? how many dads who would love to be able to see thier kids and can’t and they have to fight tooth and nail for a couple of hours with them cause the moms won’t let the dads see them and the moms that wish the fathers gave a rat’s ass about thier kids, seemingly care about just themselves.
oh well, what can a person do? just keep on keeping on mommy2, thier day will come, my ex and yours, and someday, when they are old, they will wonder why the kids didn’t call them or come see them.
suspose they will figure it out???
i cut myself after i finish eating because i feel guilty for betraying my body and my need to be skinny… i hope one day i’ll learn that when i stop eating, i can stop punishing myself
i’ve been in love with the same boy for over three years now, i know he’s not the same perosn i feel in love with, and i wnat to more on, i love it when he’s here and things were good with us, but i’m better when he’s gone…we had sex about a month ago, and i know i’m going to get my period soon, but i told him i wasn’t going to, just to get him to talk to me because i know if i was pregnant he wouldn’t go away.
i want to be anorexic, but i can’t stop eating.
i feel like i’m never good enough for anyone, that i can never meet new best friends, or find a guy that really likes me that i’m equally attracted to, and i think it’s because i’m not stick-thin.
I wish he realized that I am willing to be a huge whore if he wants me to be, Im not as squeeky clean as they all think!
Im scared for my friend because of her curiostiy
I love her like I could love no other but I will never tell her because she loves him.
I am becoming as selfish and abusive as my father, and hate my boyfriend for putting up with it.
I feel like a nobody. I have no friends because I have kids and nobody I used to hang out with does. I guess I lost all cool points when I went and got married and had kids while they all went off to college. Now I am divorced, and a single mother and so alone. I have no life outside of my house and my kids. Did I mention that I feel like a nobody. Sometimes I just wish someone would feel sorry for me, but nobody ever does. They usually just expect more and more out of me. My ex husband is a loser and I get NO help in raising my kids. All I want is a friend to talk to. Is that too much to ask for?
Posted by: nobody important at April 7, 2006 03:12 PM
is this you, mommy2?
I burnt my ex-boyfriend’s #24 Jeff Gordon Nascar baseball hat because i was pissed @ him for looking at porn online. I also threw out his sunglasses :oP
I burnt my ex-boyfriend’s #24 Jeff Gordon Nascar baseball hat because i was pissed @ him for looking at porn online. I also threw out his sunglasses :oP
I burnt my ex-boyfriend’s #24 Jeff Gordon Nascar baseball hat because i was pissed @ him for looking at porn online. I also threw out his sunglasses :oP
I cheated on my last boyfriend. I never told him. I feel terrible about it. I regret it. I feel so bad. I just wish I could turn back time. I would change my whole life. All I ever wanted was for someone to love me…. and now I’m afraid I’m going to cheat again. I’m scared to get close to people. I get upset too easily, and I hate it so much. I have a new boyfriend now… and I don’t even like him as a boyfriend anymore. He’s just not my type at all. He doesn’t understand me. He doesn’t even act like a boyfriend, then again.. I am his first gf, and it sucks. I can’t get myself to break up with him, I’m too scared he won’t understand… I truly hate my life. I would kill myself right now if I didn’t have.. some kind of something that makes me want to stay alive. I want to see how my life turns out… yeah… that’s it. That’s all I want… I just want to see if it was worth it…
To blahblahblah,
The ball is in your corner
-M (first clue)
I know that you love me more than you’ve ever loved anyone else. But scares me how easily you can make me forget that. It is at those times that I am the most vulnerable, but I can’t bring myself to tell you. I love you. But I don;t think I can take this anymore. There’s too much rage in me.
i cannot cope the daily stress and pressures of a typical day.
.. one day i know i will kill my self
why? i cant handle the fact i’ll be nothing and with this nothingness, you will never want me
i secretly wish my girlfriend…. would lose weight….. just so i could say she was gorgeous and MEAN it.
OMG!!!!
u’ll neva know is my boyfriend!!!! O MY GOD!!
i neva knew u felt like that u dirty whore!!!
i was a virgin wen i met u nd i gave u all of my nd let u take advantage of me weneva u wanted…even wen u came home drunk at nite nd beat me up afta!!…
i cnt believe u wuld say that!!!im only 57kg!!u dik…nd im almost six foot!! ARGH!!
nd by the way…
i faked it!!
dont lie whore…. your more like 95kg and 4 foot….
im so glad im in the army….. we are over cow….
heres another secret…. im always sober when i hit u…..
i love it
ok ok i lied bout bein six foot nd 57kg!!
im 5 foot 4 nd im only 65kg u dik!!!
I HATE U!
go off wif one of ur butch army lovers again just like u did last time wen u found id slept wif ur sister AND ur brother!! ohh whoops u didnt knwo that did u!!! my bad
u dnt deserve me! im goin 2 live with my new lover!!
oh yeah nd we started making love 1 year ago!! the day u asked me 2 marry u!!! nd i slept with 2 ppl on ur birthday! nd u knwo y??
coz i culd!
well at lest when i fuck jonathon…… he moans….. i dont have a sister or a brother….. cant u tell the difference between people and family pets sweetie?
this new lover….. is he fresh from the farm too? what is this time my grandpa…. also known as the family bird?
moron
wat??
who the hell is jonathon??? i thought it was rose? u knwo the butch, monobrow bitch with the three breasts nd the limp??
stuff u! i dnt need this!
nd no my boyfriend/lover is not a grandpa!! he only 70 nd he is rich! unlike some ppl who cnt afford to buy enuf undies to last him one week!!
u cnt talk bout rootin animals!! i knwo wat u did 2 my cat, tilly!!
i saw u nd i watched u from the closet while u did that disgustin thing 2 my pussy!!
rose is more woman than you will ever be…. and jonathon is what keeps me from slitting your throat late at night….. i go over, fuck him then come home and beat the shit out of you….. if it wasnt for hime thered be nothing left of you…..
at least your cat is only covered in fur….. more than can be said about you
rose is more woman than you will ever be…. and jonathon is what keeps me from slitting your throat late at night….. i go over, fuck him then come home and beat the shit out of you….. if it wasnt for hime thered be nothing left of you.
at least your cat is only covered in fur….
more than can be said about yourself
rose is more woman than you will ever be…. and jonathon is what keeps me from slitting your throat late at night….. i go over, fuck him then come home and beat the shit out of you….. if it wasnt for him thered be nothing left of you.
at least your cat has a reason to be covered in fur
omg u cnt talk!!!
wat wif all the hair on ur bak u look like a fukin monkey!! u made me shave ur bak 4 u many a time nd it is disgusting!!
i cnt believe the shit ur tellin me nd the ppl here!!
yeah well….i at least can hold my head up high nd say i neva cheated on u!! i have at least a scrap of dignity left from this fuked up relationship!! unlike u u cok sukin asshole!!
go root a cow like u know u wanna
leave dennis alone whore…..
this guy has been my best friend for all these years…. he was there when i went from being brendan to betty….. (betty boom… come see me live at newtown)
he was what kept me going even when tommy realised that i wasnt all women….
and guess what? he made me come over and over again…..
he knows just hot to touch a women
leave dennis alone whore…..
this guy has been my best friend for all these years…. he was there when i went from being brendan to betty….. (betty boom… come see me live at newtown)
he was what kept me going even when tommy realised that i wasnt all women….
and guess what? he made me come over and over again…..
o my god..u!!!
dennis told me he stopped seein u ages ago!!!
oh well ur the whore!! he told me u always used 2 make him hav sex with u!!
nd u know wat else he said?!?
he said i was the best f*ck he eva had nd u came a poor second!! so haha
so shut the f*#k up nd leave me alone or ill get my new boyfriend onto u!!!
sweetheart i lied….
betty was always a better fuck
and when i hit her
she liked it
sweetheart i lied….
betty was always a better fuck
and when i hit her
she liked it
sweetheart i lied….
betty was always a better fuck
and when i hit her
she liked it
omg!! I CNT BELIEVE U WULD DO THIS 2 ME!!
ill neva b able 2 4give u!!
nd 2 think i was gona give u a goodbye f*#k nd everythin!!!
argh
oy u!!
get ur hands off my hot woman!!
nd u betty!! i know u were pretty good last nite but 2day, we r not friends!!! u leave my bitch alone unless u want a piece of this 70 year old arse