Monthly Archives: June 2003

righteous people

There’s nothing more joyous than finding counter examples that show weaknesses in my people-related stereotypes and mental models. As a child, i thought that all wealthy people (and all politicians, professors and “esteemed” people in society) had to be brilliant – how else would they have earned so much money? Of course, when i realized that this wasn’t true (and rushed off to liberal utopia land), i started having a cynical view that all wealthy people had to be corrupt, evil and politically incorrect.

Of course, i’ve met people who accidentally made money doing what they love (and used it wisely such as the one who decided to affect SF Late Night Culture); i adjusted my model to discount them. I’ve also met people who are wealthy because they are famous, but they exist in another model for me that includes people who gain money and wealth to deal with their own insecurities. Sadly, though, most people that i have met who have acquired wealth have done so through some questionable means and don’t really use it in a way that i respect.

Last night, i realized that i don’t know any consciously capitalist, socially righteous, psychologically grounded, intellectually fascinated people. Of course, i realized that by finding someone who fit that bill, which completely startled me and required me to adjust my model of people to fit such a character. People like this give me hopes for humanity and better yet, the fact that people like this exist in my sphere makes me love the culture i’m playing in right now even more.

Frankly, i need to stop running into and having drinks with really interesting people. San Francisco is just continuing to blow my mind and make it really hard for me to not run out and constantly play with ideas and other people. There is no doubt that SF is just one big adult playground for liberal motivated intelligent people and it’s just way too much fun to play kid again.

startups

Yesterday someone told me that in order to be successful in a startup, you have to have a combination of unalterable driven direction mixed with paranoia. Added to this, you need to be motivated by commercial successes (and thus profit).

I like thinking about how people use technology to make themselves happier. While i’m completely OCD about money issues, i’m rarely driven to mark my successes as such.

Four years ago, i was asked when i would start my startup; the same question was posed to me today. In both situations, my gut still believes that i could never actually be successful at starting a startup. Of course, when asked what i imagine my role to be in the corporate world, i can only really come up with “muse.” I really like toiling with ideas, making others see the fascination in them; this is why i like teaching, although i’m starting to also wonder if this is the kind of capability that has strength in other domains.

I really hate that bi-annual contemplation about what i’m going to do when i grow up, but i seem to do it anyhow. Must think Peter Pan. Will never grow up.

storytelling… Sandra Ball-Rokeach

Talking with my advisor yesterday, he spoke about Sandra Ball-Rokeach at USC’s Annenberg School For Communication who suggests that the sign of a healthy community is one that tells stories. Storytelling has been dramatically undervalued in contemporary society. Creating characters, talking about events, sharing philosophies all through the power of story… I guess TV has replaced this, creating a common story. But the least common denominator is far from interesting… What are the stories that emerge out of truly connected communities? Shared stories of experience and shared fables for enjoyment? Are there communities out there that still value that form of connecting?

a wonderful life

My advisor suggested that i take a class on participant observers in the fall and i was thinking about how much i’ve been a participant observer in my life lately and how wonderful wonderfully adventurous and absurd my life has been recently. My advisor is constantly reminding me that life is one big research project out there to be analyzed. There have been so many amazing lessons, so many crazy and wonderful experiences and so much support from those around me. I’m feeling utterly blissful lately and talking to my best friend all afternoon only reminded me of how much life is just a grand adventure that is meant to be watched and explored, gamed and questioned. Of course, she also made me realize that my shrink must think i’m a pathological liar for all of the absurd stories i’ve told him lately.

fake characters & friendster

Once again today, i read about someone’s concern about the fake characters on Friendster. Of course, the creator despises these fake characters. Although i’ve never created them, i find them utterly fascinating. Given my appreciation of Morningstar & Farmer’s paper on why it is necessary to pay attention to what users do not what designers want them to, i’m also fascinated by the uproar over what the users have chosen to do.

People create fake characters to show their allegience to a certain element of culture. When Burning Man existed, people showed that he represented their interests. No one is going to make friends with LSD or Ecstasy if they are anti-drugs, because one’s appreciation of that type of humor requires an appreciation of the culture embedded in it. Conversely, when one makes friends with God on Friendster, one is probably not Christian.

Characters are just another way that people game Friendster, indicating that its primary purpose is not dating for most people. It is a fun experiment in social behavior and identity development/manipulation. People want to see who all they can access; they want to see their numbers grow (even if those numbers are utterly meaningless); they want Friendster to be fun fun fun.

Of course, this begs the question: can it be both fun and meaningful?

mental models of others

There are few friends that i have who consistently challenge my philosophies on life and force me to delve into why i believe what i do. Of course, spending a day with one of those friends always makes me blissfully ecstatic, even if utterly exhausted. Today, i went to the beach and our discussion ended up focusing on the impact of friends on our mental models of strangers.

There are two parts to this problem:

1) What impact our friends have on our views of others;
2) How we act accordingly.

When we communicate our thoughts about outsider to our friends, we often use very coarse descriptions, highlighting what we see as the salient characteristics of that person, for better or worse. For example, i might say that Bob is really annoying, without contextualizing that statement to explain that he’s only really annoying when he’s around Carl because they are exes and are quite antagonistic. Big brush strokes.

The question is how my friend chooses to encorporate my thoughts. Ideally, we act as though we are strong enough to make up our own opinion on others, but this is probably not what people actually do. More likely, my friend’s view will be colored by what i say (which is not necessarily the whole of how i feel). In interacting with Bob, my friend will see Bob as annoying, even with Carl nowhere to be found. I will have colored my friend’s perspective.

A lot of this has to do with our tendency to create tribes. By voicing our opinions on outsiders to our friends, we encourage them to like the people we like and dispise our enemies. This animalistic tendency allows us to create a safe container for those we love. Of course, by being the one who articulates the tribe’s members, our opinions are validated giving us power within the system.

Given this framework, we started talking about how we operate inside and outside of this. My friend recognizes that opinions from others cloud his view and thus doesn’t want to hear them nor wants to share his own. Yet, in doing so, he ends up following others tribes. I, on the other hand, refuse to take anyone’s account that seriously and thus have no problem making up my own mind, yet i rarely keep my opinions to myself, mostly because i like to hear disagreement. Neither “solution” is ideal and we’ve both seen the reprocussions of our own paths. What’s more interesting is how frustrated he gets when someone shares coarse descriptions and how frustrated i get when others take my opinions with too much weight.

Thus, it begs the question.. how do you communicate your opinions in a way that doesn’t improperly affect the situation?