fantasizing about health care

This morning, i was huffing and puffing on the human hampster wheel sandwiched between two strapping gay guys who looked more like they were on the stairway to heaven. On my iPod was Steve Martin’s “Shopgirl,” filling me with drab thoughts about body image LA culture while the tele ran commercials to the daytime TV crowd about products that would help you lose weight, have beautiful skin and be happy all day long. I sighed.

And then, stumbling aimlessly around the gym looking for some way that i could remedy my back ache by working on my pecks without further injuring my elbow, i started realizing that maybe there is something good to be said about all of the psycho image culture. Maybe these body sculptors will devise tools so that i can work on individual muscle zones without further damaging the other broken ones. This week alone, i’ve added my left elbow to my wrists, neck and right knee… so now my shoulders are starting to curl over, numbing my left arm and sending shooty gifts down my left side. Lovely. Perhaps i should worship the body sculptors and pray that they will invent a magical potion to build muscle to the exact level that will support my frame so that things don’t keep falling out of whack.

And then, on cue, Barenaked Ladies came into my thoughts and i started dreaming about being uber wealthy and having real health care and having a brilliant physical therapist who would know exactly how to deal with each muscle system so that i could function even while broken as hell. Ah, dreams…

(How sad is it that my fantasy of being uber rich involves doctors and health care? And yes, i’m procrastinating writing my &%*@ quals.)

6 thoughts on “fantasizing about health care

  1. Meri

    Have you tried doing dumbell pullovers? Basically you take a free weight, lie on your back on the weight bench, extend your arms (holding one dumbell with two hands — put it vertical) and then “row” it back over your head.

    Do this in a slow, controlled motion and it will work your pecs and various back muscles. You shouldn’t need to bend your elbows except to pick it up initially (I’m assuming this isn’t a huge problem?).

    I had a bad motorbike accident a few years ago in which I royally screwed up my back. I used this exercise a lot in my recovery period and it worked well — also helped alleviate the RSI!

    Hope that helps 😉

  2. museumfreak

    I don’t think it’s sad at all. I’ve always maintained that my fantasy perfect life involves a loft near a park in a gayborhood of a major city, a job that makes me happy with amazing health insurance and disability accomodations, a pool set up perfectly for SI relief, and never having to worry about the cost of a taxi. Of course, that’s me.

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