I was out to dinner with my roommate and we were reflecting on Ubicomp. Apparently, there was quite a discussion amongst “the boys” about the presence of some very strong women at the conference. My roommate laughed as he recalled the discussion. At some point, he reminded these boys that this is what strong women looked like. For so long, strong women tried to fit into the boys’ world, tried to be like men. (I was there, i remember.) But now, there’s a whole new flavor of strong women. These women are not really feminine, not really masculine, but themselves. Their presence in the tech world is small, but powerful and they are fundamentally themselves.

As he described this, i smiled, thinking to the women that i know who can be described by this. It’s so refreshing to see powerful women be themselves in the tech industry, but it’s also terrifying. When we were following men’s example, our direction was laid out for us. Now, we are trying to make up our own mechanisms for survival, for getting validated, for having our voices heard. Without an example, we tend to flail a bit. We’re accused of playing too nice, of being too mean. Men’s world has defined the balance; we have yet to find ours. It’s this struggle, this confusion that still cripples so many of the women that i know.

There is no easy answer, no set philosophy. Yet, it is with this mindset that i’ve joined in on the team of women blogging at misbehaving.net, a blogspace where we can reflect on women & tech.