Monthly Archives: July 2002

ex/implosion

I’m going to explode, implode, go insane. Sometimes, i want to shoot myself for getting myself into these binds that involve too much chaos for me to feel comfortable that everything/anything is going to work out. It all started with that damn exhibit. Well, no one is in town to tear it down, so guess who’s gotta go to New York by herself and tear it down? Well, that’s fab, if i didn’t also have to be at a meeting in New York, while my head is on my thesis. Plus, shit for V-Day needs to come together by September 1. And to top it off, i realized this afternoon that i absolutely must move ASAP because the stress level is only going to get worse.

So the next three days require me to pick up a rental car tomorrow morning, drive to New York, pack up the show, drive to the hotel, unpack the show, go to a photo shoot, sleep, go to meetings, repack up the show, drive to Boston, unpack the the show, move everything from my office to my house, pack up my house, return the rental car, pick up the rental van, finish packing my house, pack up the rental van, drive myself to PA, unpack the rental van, figure out how to get back to Boston.

Needless to say, i collapsed tonite, broke down and started crying. Well, first i started getting all giggly and hysterical. And then i tried to find someone to help me. And then i realized that wasn’t going to happen so i went kinda batty and curled up in a ball, which didn’t help the packing nor my sanity. I feel like i’m juggling the kinds of shit that i juggled when i did Tracy.

And shit, i’m too wrung up to eat or sleep. Shit. I hate this feeling. Anxiety sucks. Goal number one for the fall: no more anxiety-driven energy.

erotic scam

Men may slip drugs to women in order to rape them, but women seem to be using similar drugs to poison their breasts for easy thievery. Hmm.. violence vs. theft. In either case, it shows the desire of a women’s body and the power that men have in this society. Fascinating.

In the process of learning about this article, i also stumbled upon an interesting blog – supermodels are lonelier than you think (and other striking news about beautiful women)…

today’s quotes

By journalist Sydney J. Harris (and thanks to the pointer from Jeff, who loves to collect and distribute interesting readings):

It’s odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that English is the only major language in which “I” is capitalized; in many other languages “You” is capitalized and the “i” is lower case.

The primary purpose of a liberal education is to make one’s mind a pleasant place in which to spend one’s leisure.

Most people are mirrors, reflecting the moods and emotions of the times; few are windows, bringing light to bear on the dark corners where troubles fester. The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows.

Once we assuage our conscience by calling something a “necessary evil,” it begins to look more and more necessary and less and less evil.

We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move from the passive voice to the active voice–that is, until we stop saying “It got lost,” and say “I lost it.”

unbearable lightness of being

During my dinner break out by the lake, i was rereading a section in The Unbearable Lightness of Being where the doctor talks about his relationship with women and his wife, discussing the possible roles of a man in the pursuit of women. As the book is wont to make me do, my mind quickly wandered from the book to a state of internal discussion about the descriptions of relationships.

We are trained to label all of our relationships with people – daughter, friend, student, lover, etc. These labels provide roles and those roles come with expectations. When one fails to live up to the expectations, one is seen as a bad daughter/friend/student/lover. Even within these labels, we have to evaluate the magnitude of our role there. I hated the middle school negotiations between friend and best friend. The latter implied a large committment, a stronger bond, and a greater responsibility…

Continue reading →

in da woods

i’ve runaway for a little bit, in order to work on my thesis. a dear friend of mine has lent me his little hideaway in the middle of the woods and i’m happily rejoicing, loving the beauty of nature while being productive. there’s something fun about having to choose to get online, through a very slow connection. it really does alter my relationship with the Internet when it’s not so very automatic. alas, it definitely alters my tendencies to babble incessently into this forum…