Last summer, i purchased a radio with two alarms on it. It was the perfect solution because i figured that alarm one could go off with NPR and alarm two would start beeping fifteen minutes later. This would allow me to slowly wake up to voices and news and then force myself outta bed with the beeping. Somehow, this morning, alarm one went off without alarm two… or maybe i was too tired to notice alarm two or turned it off or something. But regardless, alarm one, the radio, went off.. for apparently 3 hours of me ignoring it.
The problem was that the discussion on the radio was about the conflict in the Middle East over the Gaza strip. Now, this is a very touchy subject in my world and since i haven’t had the time to adequately process it and create an educated opinion, i have a hard time taking full-on sides or otherwise opinionating on what is best. But i do know that i am not happy with what is going on and certainly not a fan of the violence or raping that is going on, by anyone, for any reason. For defense or any other excuse, rape as a systematic tactic of war is just not OK. Ever. (Hell, that’s the fight i’ve been fighting for a while.)
But anyhow, that was the conversation on NPR, always is these days… And somehow, i managed to incorporate it into my dreams. I got to work out all of these dreams about being in the midst of the situation, seeing the raping, feeling the fear and the hiding. And of course, it was impossible to tell which side was which, which side i was on. There was just chaos. And all of the soldiers that i would talk to thought it was just another party and they were going along for the ride, doing it cause they were told to (thank you Stanley Milgram). On the other hand, that’s my problem with protests and other mass-assembly activities – people come just to rebel and spit, regardless of the cause. And that’s what i was in the midst of in my dreams – extended violence in the Middle East just because that was what was expected. And sure, it was obvious that above all, there was a reason, but the people who were fighting it had lost track of that and were just using the built up venom to enjoy the raping and pillaging. Not a fun way to wake up. I think i need to get more informed about this situation. Fast.