Six Degrees of Sexual Frustration is a Village Voice article on Friendster. I have a feeling that we’ll be seeing a lot more of these and it makes me curious to know what the impact will be on growth. I’m also very curious about the article, because it makes Friendster appear to be more expansive than dating. While i know that’s how people use Friendster, i keep wondering how Jonathan Abrams feels about this (as he constantly gives me the impression that his only goal is to replace match.com). Does he realize the value of the diverse usages? Might he recognize that it’s valuable to pay attention to what people are doing and why?
Connecting the Dates with Friendster.com
Six Degrees of Sexual Frustration
by William O’Shea
June 4 – 10, 2003
(illustration: Rachel Salomon)
“I’ve always had a tourist fantasy,” says Rex, a singer in a New York City electroclash band. He recently had the opportunity to live out his fetish through Friendster.com, an online community for making friends and finding dates.
“He was no one I knew, a tourist who was in town for a few days,” the vocalist continues. “I was flattered and weirdly curious.” The traveler invited Rex (as he would like to be called) out on a date. “Under 99 percent of these circumstances I would have stayed away, but I happened to think he was cute. We got together for coffee. We met again later that night for a date and hooked up. It was really hot—a hot rendezvous.”
Just as Napster exploded in popularity a few years ago, Friendster is now making its own climb to Internet stardom. By May, just three months after its beta release, the site had grown to over 300,000 users.
In practice, Friendster is far different from its file-sharing cousin. It is completely Web-based, with no peer-to-peer application to download, and the “sharing” is purely metaphorical. But it is expanding for the same reason Napster did—members have an interest in making it more popular, because that means there’s more to trade. While similar new services like Ryze.org and LinkedIn.com help people swap business contacts, Friendster is one of the few places that help you swap your friends.
Friendster works on the same principle as the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game, where you find connections between movie stars. People who join post profiles of themselves including photos, interests, favorite books, TV shows, and movies. Browse someone’s profile—anyone within three degrees of separation is fair game—and you also see thumbnail pictures of their friends. If one looks interesting, you can click it for a full profile. With another click you can send a message, though the site safeguards your e-mail address to thwart unwanted come-ons.
Not strictly a dating service, Friendster has built its success on its casual feel. There are no cupids or hearts on the site, nothing to indicate it’s anything but a tool for connecting with friends. But although you could use it to meet a fellow Scrabble aficionado or an ultimate Frisbee partner, the site ends up being largely about dating. “For every one user of online dating services, there are probably 10 people who would use Friendster because they’re more comfortable with the approach,” says company founder Jonathan Abrams. “Friendster is less creepy. It’s a little more like real life.”
Harris Danow, a development assistant at Miramax, has used online personals services but prefers Friendster. “It isn’t threatening, like dating sites. It’s called Friendster, not ‘Fuckster’ or ‘Makeoutster,’ ” he says. “It’s like the kiddie pool of online dating.” Harris has been contacted by several women through his online profile and went out with one. “I didn’t think of it as a place for making dates, but women started contacting me. On Friendster people can check out your credentials, meaning that someone can ask your friend, ‘What’s the deal with this person?’ It keeps you on your best behavior. You couldn’t get away with meeting someone on Friendster, sleeping with her, and never calling her back. There’s a net behind you.”
