As much as i’m a geek, i’m also the classic end user. I have no patience for technology that doesn’t just work and after hours on the phone with support, i always break down in frustration and tears. I am not someone who gets motivated to figure it out – i just want to throw it all away.
Mind you – this is why i hated computers for the longest time and why i’m really particular about technology that i buy. If i can take it out of the box and use it right away, we’re going to get along fine. I cried out of joy when i turned on my first 12″ because it asked me if it should join the apophenia network.
I was a terrible programmer in this regard because i hated debugging. With a passion. I would just lose it trying to figure it out. This was only worsened by the fact that i can always create the most peculiar bugs in any system. There were a few people who were always able to calm me down and get me out of that frustration and set me on a goal-driven direction to be productive. I was good at coding – i just hated it and i hated what it did to me.
Today was a reminder of why i stopped coding and debugging technology. A friend generously arranged for me to borrow a fancy phone for moblogging SIGGRAPH. I was ecstatic. I was like a little kid with a new toy, happily showing it off. Unfortunately, it was down hill from there. Taking a picture was easy. But it wasn’t sending. I read the manual (which was good because i couldn’t figure out a lot of things before that). I got on the phone with T-Mobile. I spent over 3 hours and 7 phone calls with T-Mobile. They were patient and kind, trying to change my plan, trying to sort through manuals to figure out how to deal with this new phone that was not yet available in the States, trying to make it work. Another friend was IMing me with suggestions because she too had one of the fancy phones and loved it (in fact, it was she who inspired it). The errors kept coming. I had to change my plan to get email to work. They suggested that i call the maker of the phone. The maker refused to talk to me because that phone is not supposed to be available in the States.
Over 5 hours of futzing went by and i was in tears, having gotten nothing that i was supposed to be doing done and being nowhere closer to moblogging. My friend kept giving me suggestions, bless her heart, but i reached that state of impossibility, defeat, exhaustion. I took a walk and decided that it would be better for my sanity to revert the account back to my Sidekick so that i’d at least have email, SMS and IM, even if no camera.
I feel super guilty because my friend was so kind in getting the phone to me. I feel like a failure for being unable to get a stupid phone working. But more than anything, i’m reminded of the state of mind that motivated me to leave computer science. The added weirdness comes from the fact that i’m about to drive to LA to see the man who spent four years trying to keep me in computer science. And i still feel guilty for having left.
Updated note: T-Mobile was great for what they were able to work with. I am by no means frustrated by them. In fact, i’m far more impressed with them for their patience and kindness. The problem was that the phone manufacturer whose States’ division would not help and whose technology did not easily connect.