::wiping sweat off brow::
What a two weeks it has been. Over 100 pages of text have been written: 2 long essays, 1 ethnography write-up, 1 workshop proposal, 1 panel proposal. 30 students x 3 papers each graded. A conference was hosted. And a slew of odds and ends – interviews, edits, and the like.
Important lessons learned:
Caffeine does not overcome hallucinations. The only thing that remedies hallucinations is sleep. This is quite frustrating when sleep is not really in the deck of cards. Of course, there’s something utterly fun about trying to write text when the text you are writing does not stay still, but floats around the screen. Very hypertextual.
Meatless chicken patties rock. I once lived on ramen soup for 10 days (the 8 for $1 kind – i had no money). To this day, i cannot eat ramen. This time, i lived on meatless chicken patties and burritos. Much better.
A cigarette break is not a celebration. There is nothing more depressing than completing a long essay and having only a cigarette break before moving on to the next one. Celebration is part of the key to relief.
Laptops are not the same as cats. Day 4, i decided that there was no reason to shower or leave my bed. I had 17 books piled on the bed and a stack of papers 8 inches deep. I left the bed to urinate, smoke and eat chicken patties. At the end of the night, i ducked under my covers, not removing any of the items on my bed. On Day 5, i woke up hugging and petting my laptop; i must have mistaked it for Marble. I sat back up in bed and began writing again. Marble meowed.
Blogs are a bigger distraction than IM. You cannot tell blogs to make you feel guilty for looking at them; you can tell friends to make you go back to work, or, because you are screaching at high pitches, they’ll run away. I uninstalled Shrook.
Self-reflection is a recursive curse. My advisor foolishly assigned me to write a self-reflective and reflexive write-up. A person analytic by nature should not turn their power inward; it becomes dangerous. I understand how Moby Dick was written. If you start down the path of description, you hit a point of recursion and it’s turtles all the way down. Why do you never hear reports of anthropologists going insane?
Personal libraries are key. My room looks like the result of a battleground between the Papers and the Books. I’m not sure who won, but there are many casualties. Thank goodness i have a ridiculously sized book collection and a fast internet connection to more references – i never had to leave my room!
Intellectual engagement != working. But boy can you justify it as such. Blessed be my friends who came to check in and brought me external stimulii upon which to thrust my spiraling brain. Somehow, the best conversations about philosophy, politics and religion always happen during finals. There’s something about feeling like you’re thinking intensely so it must be the same as finals to feel refreshed.
No qualitative analysis tool meets my needs. I tried every qual analysis/coding tool i could find for the Mac and was sorely disappointed. My mind is too hypertextual to handle the structure of these tools and yet my memory is not good enough to let me store everything internally. Mucho frustration.
Mountain Dew loves me: they re-released my beloved Tangerine. Last fall, when i learned that Mountain Dew was going to stop distributing the tangerine stuff (orange MD), i had my corner deli order me a few cases; they ran out before finals. When i went to the grocery store this week, i found out that they re-released the tangerine stuff.. and in 2 litre bottles!
Blessed be my mother. My mother is coming in 36 hours to wisk me away to hot tubs, massages, wine and all of the other pleasantries of a spa. For the last two weeks, whenever i felt exhausted and upset, i envisioned my mom arriving for many days of relaxation. Ahhh….
Sleep is not just for the weak. Or else i am weak… because gosh darnit i need it. G’nite.
Life of a PhD
I wonder how many can connect with danah experiences .
cat =laptop
sleep deprivation =danah
get some rest,stare at the moon-it is relaxing!
And despite all this, didn’t I see you at the Lakoff lecture Friday night?
Such is the life of the hopeless academic… welcome back to the land of the livid. I can imagine it feels good to be done… I sure feel ready to slack the fuck off.
Periods of intellectual intensity…
Leave it to danah to realize all the cool stuff first… one thing I noticed in the last week (finals week) in more than one place was the tendency for very deep thought amongst my fellow inmates (read: graduate students). While trying to synthesize hu…
Periods of intellectual intensity…
Leave it to danah to realize all the cool stuff first… one thing I noticed in the last week (finals week) in more than one place was the tendency for very deep thought amongst my fellow inmates (read: graduate students). While trying to synthesize hu…
Periods of intellectual intensity…
Leave it to danah to realize all the cool stuff first… one thing I noticed in the last week (finals week) in more than one place was the tendency for very deep thought amongst my fellow inmates (read: graduate students). While trying to synthesize hu…
Tried to ping you baby… got no love…
http://pobox.com/~joehall/nqb/archives/000283.html
tangerine mountain dew?? where? where?!
woooooooooooha!
it was clear that you would survive, but i’m glad to have confirmation. did any of that porch conversation on the insidious immortality of the text make it into your papers?
i finally wrote and published the troy thing – http://www.counterpunch.org/chloe05222004.html
have a Great time with your mom and ping me when you get back……..
all love,
tree
The Gap Between Talk and Action
apophenia: “Intellectual engagement != working. But boy can you justify it as such. Blessed be my friends who came to check in and brought me external stimulii upon which to thrust my spiraling brain. Somehow, the best conversations about philosophy,…
apophenia, i need a invitation to become a orkut member… can you do it? i´m from brazil and im looking for good friends on the web. Thanks.
So sad that we missed each other in SF this weekend. I was out visiting Linden Labsa nd KM Cluster meeting. Next time!
Congratulations! Sleep for 72 hours. You are right, sleep and hydration are the only panaceas. Everything else is a stopgap. Your heroism gives me hope that I will complete my own ordeal (he said, typing on his laptop from his bed in messy home office).
i was indeed at lakoff after grading before turning in my final paper. tehehe. more info on that shortly.
Meatless chicken patty? Is this a California thing? But oh, I do love ramen. The way to make ramen if you’re going to eat it in industrial quantities is to keep some frozen veggies onhand. Then toss the veggies in while boiling the ramen and it’s instant soup
Glad to hear you made it through finals alive! By the way, I think I have your lip balm.
Tangerine mountain drew??
Where?