ASH (alt.suicide.holiday) is over 10 years old. It’s evolved into a website, a chatroom and a community by people who believe that suicide is a choice. Yet, over 10 suicides have been linked to ASH and folks are wondering if they are to blame for these deaths. They do have recipes for suicide, funeral arrangement directions, calculators that compare the pain of various methods and a variety of other resources.
I believe the suicide is a choice and expect that one day i’ll be in enough pain to call it quits. All of the blame talk about getting assistance always bugs me because i think that there should be a way to leave this world with some grace and honor rather than as a vegetable. Because of this, i don’t think that providing information about suicide makes you an accomplice (and frankly, i want a kind accomplice who understand my needs over the weird social values of the system). Therefore, how do you help people kill themselves when they feel the need to quit and help them see the point to life when it’s really just not time yet?
Update: While I support the right to die, I do not believe that the decision to kill oneself should be made lightly or alone. Many people choose the path of suicide because the pain exceeds their resources for coping. Pain caused by terminal illness is different from pain caused by depression. The latter can be treated and there are resources out there to help. If you are considering the path of suicide and you are not facing a terminal illness, please consider seeking advice before you make your decision. There are many organizations out there that provide support for people who are facing this decision. Your options include:
- Send an anonymous email to The Samaritans
- Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S.
- Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999
- Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line
- Call a psychotherapist in your area
- Carefully choose a friend or minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen
To learn more about suicide and to get a valuable perspective on being suicidal, check out 
god doesn’t exist.
if he did
why didn’t he stop my cousin from sexually assaulting me.
Why doesn’t he send a sign of love for those who think about suicide.
I am no coward.
If i was i couldn’t hold the gun to my head and pull the trigger.
I cut my wrists to feel the pain i so long for.
I am dead inside.
Waiting for my escape.
I have a physical illness that the doctors have not yet diagnosed. I am bedridden except for taking a shower and going to the doctor both which are physicall excruciating for me. I am unable to drive. I feel like i should be in the hospital but i know the doctors are taking their time and not doing the appropriate tests becuase i have state medical insurance. I feel lucky to be covered under this minimal insurance because i know some people who are deathly ill don’t even have that. The only problem now is even though i beleive i finally have a good doctor who can figure this out my body tells me it’s to late. There is some major organ damage and i have a feeling i will never be normal and able to get around again. I miss the life i had and feel like there is no sense in continuing this way only to suffer for who knows how long. On the other hand i don’t think i have the courage to end my life at this point,even though i have been very close. I would accept death if it were to come to me not by my own hand. I just don’t want to die in anguish. I just wish i know the option was there to end it in case the pain became to much to tolerate. What is worse, an existence with suffering or no existence at all. Both are equally as frightening to me. I feel trapped
Feel free to e-mail if you are also house bound or bedridden and can relate to my anguish. nowheregrl1972@yahoo.com
Last thoughts- I’m 38 and I’m glad my son is not sensitive like I am, he’ll have a chance in this cold world.. My daughters might lose some of their light, but it would be just as bad as if we divorced.
Hey religious idiots, you fuckers killed off the Indians with diseased blankets and measles sprinkled on babies in the “Holy Water”. Your righteous concern- it’s another power pose, and it’s destructive.. The nature which could have healed the world is mocked and destroyed by your toxic fantasies..
Nobody who is serious about suicide wants sympathy.. They want the pain and rejection to go away. I’ll be gone tonight, in 6 hours. I’m using the ocean- kinda sucks cause I “tried” it before but washed up and had to live with the shame.. It also hurt.. However, as I’m permanantly spinal injured and can’t work my way out alone, it’s my cue to go. Those who were going to help have behaved like lawyers, they cherry pick the people who don’t really need help, and my case was too tough..
Why fight so hard when you are resented for not being an easy case who can do all his own work for your credit, by the wife cause I’m not a good lay anymore, for becoming a sullen dad who was always the one establishing routine and ideas about why work is good, and serving as my wifes loyal dumping ground for what she hates, for never having anyone but my little ones know the value of caring, amnd not being cold.. I’m just a charity case on soon to end workers comp. 2 years I couldn’t get it together, how many work to keep my pain alive? I remember when I took life on, fearless with hope for others, I’ll do the same with death, before my failures erase all I achieved..
so this is it. I’ll clean the house, pretend I’m going for a swim, then go deep.. I just want to feel a bit of love on the way down, the way to everything.. With my back it won’t take long.
There should be an honoraable way out in our culture, but we all do this in shame. I don’t need my wife and 3 kids hating my memory, as I have come to hate myself- although my wife has my eldest turned against me already and the others are sure to follow.. Whatever the case- I was a very good husband and dad, unselfish, thinking of them every time I dreamt for more, I was HAPPY to work for their stuff.. but this is for me, and for everyone else.. I would have donated myself for science or some other noble cause, but thats illegal- the only honor they give us is feeding the economic machine..
1 more listen to the album I liked as a teenager, then I’ll go.. The world looks beautiful again, when I forgive myself. My last loving caress from the breezes, from the world which bore me, and to which I surrender my energy..
I hope the species goes to a resource economy, but the math suggests we’ll follow game theory back into war, misery, and destruction. The world bankers will process everything for their power and consumption, and all the idiots will pine over michael jackson.. I never talked like this because I knew people needed me to be upbeat, to inspire them.. I believe I did that, and as nature will try to balance things out, I fear this is a drain move… But then we are all natural expressions in our actions,thoughts and intentions. Life was a gift, but why cling to the window of the burning building? Those in that situation, I love you all, try once more- talk with others without pride. As for me I can’t wait. I’m at peace knowing I did okay- it’s the good you leave behind which matters.. Nothing else..
People who are abused can say something- Chloe, don’t ever let your dying thought be “I’m Being A Wasteful Drama Queen”.. Get on with life- If your problem was real it would be coming from the self- don’t bother people with the victim crap when you can do something about it, did you bother to tell, or did you kind of like it? Forgive and move ahead. Have the courage to help others..
If this is investigated- I’m the guy up in Iceland, or South Africa.. Leave it alone, just assert yourself and help the good people, not just those who manipulate and fake that they need it, while the quiet smile desperately hoping for a reminder of love to return.. Yes, its the ones who fake the smiles that turn the hadest on themselves..
For those in my situation, I am sorry- There’s no shame in this, people used to do it all he time.. Just don’t leave on a sour note, thats not fair to the living.. Fake something like what I am about to do.. When you go out think of how the sky looked when we were kids..
I’ve spent the last 2 years pouring all I had left into them- I love them dearly. I hope they don’t have what is wrong with me, but generous souls often fall to this… That, I can say, I really hate about nature.. The people who hate you when you’re happy, they tend to win, and be loved by women.. The same women who cry for the environment, then marry a real estate developer the first chance they get.. They actually perceive that type of person as smarter, kinder, more loving.. How much $ do people need? When will guys tire of lusting after strangers? That’s something I avoided, maybe it made me boring.. What people say they admire, and what they truly desire, are completely different.. Sure they want most others to be good, but they want to be in with the takers…
If anyone bothers to read this try something I loved- Commit to a good persons well being, if you can afford the time/energy.. Typically we’re the ones who get drained – and either get sick and die, or decide we want to..
I’m stalling now. See you at the source, lets try to make the world beautiful for each other, that is the only power we have, but it’s influence is all we can hope to leave of our perspectives..
I wanted to teach- it was all about programming, I wanted to create art, but nobodies buying art they can’t use to sell themselves, I tried to inspire my family as the giver, but the wife and older son saw me as a resource to play, expected, boring, needy…
See past race, but don’t allow the ignorant and dangerous to breed irresponsibly either..
People really do not care if you lower your dominance because you care, they generally take what they can, and usually respect only Money and Violence. Somebody should make people aware of this sad fact of life.. We can change it, you know.
Never go the violent route unless people are directly dangerously evil- otherwise you spend eternity suffering the loss of the other you took life from.. Keep parts of the Earth wild- someday we will really need that, and be able to sustain it..
Men, remember that women are cold because they have to have something to give the babies, and in old age and death they will understand that which we gave..
Women, don’t act as cavewomen- lose to stupid, wasteful instincts.. Happiness lies in a harmonious live interacting with nature, wildlife, and the earth. Know that sex form an enthusiastic, self respecting woman, is a mans way into your mind and soul, and for some dumb reason we think this is obvious.. It is the same to us as romance and flowers and kindness is to you from an attractive man. Know that your desire for stuff is what makes men behave like shits- Don’t believe me, go watch Pretty Woman and think about how it would make your son feel.. The message is just wrong.. The pack mentality justifying it, is wrong..
But woman are also all that men hope to make happy- as they receive and emanate that love.. Teach your daughters that what is attractive sometimes is what kept the species alive, but is what is destroying the Earth as we know it..
i thought being attractive and good would work for us, i know i had the tools, but i couldnt stop hating myself through others.. married half my life, i became boring to her, predictable, injured.. and I could never betray her cause she was the one.. i am lucky for that.
Finally- No Young Person Should Ever Commit Suicide- Most Depressed Teens Find Happiness and forget their depression.. For the people who write stuff like “Why are the suicidal always alive bitching”, well, I can assure most are not. I am not one of the drama nerds.. But watch that hate, because when you are down you’ll be much quicker to do what I am doing. I know because I amthe same way.
okay, I took 10 percs to relax, and I have 50 more for the beach. Remember the promises you made to yourselves as kids, it wasn’t long ago I forgot all mine, but that’s alright. Be and let be and all that.
You want the energy back nature, take it, I won’t directly generate the misery you seem to feed upon
ok bye everyone i loved amd i appreciated you- death is not the enemy – betraying who you wre is- after a life of not caring where i fit and trying to do what is right i just couldnt anymore, so its time to save myself byreturning and looking back – i did ok
I have a terminally disease and I want a painless way to die with
dignity. I do not want my husband to watch me die for weeks with no hope.
Is there a combination of drugs I can die with out pain. I have access
to most drugs thru Hospice
Thank you for your help
Suicide is one’s own choice. Whether someone has never seen help and makes the decision, or if they have tried getting help and it didn’t work for them. We all make choices in life and the greatest of all is if you want to keep yours. I’ve been battling it for ten years and hospitalized more times than I can count on one hand. But who cares? It doesn’t matter how you play the game- in the end for every character it’s “Game Over.” So i’ll stop being anorexic and eat what I want because society calling me fat won’t matter. I’ll still have the same end as everyone else so until then, I’ll do what I want.
U people are crazy, dont kill ur self!!!!! U have a life ahead of u and for those who are saying “my lifes a wreck” WELL THEN FIX IT!!!!!!!!!! U think that once your life makes one LITTLE problem u decide to kill ur self! PSYCOS!!!!!!
I write to this forum to seek advice on ways to painlessly end my life. I would like to plan my death, to ensure that I take care of all of the necessary legalities, as well as the logistics in taking my life in a way that enables me to pass to the other side without a big deal.
At 35 years of age, without family responsibilities, have a successful life in the traditional sense of the word, money, material stuff etc. These material possessions are by-products of me trying to beat depression by immersing myself in work, not adding to my happiness or unhappiness.
I have suffered with depression since the age of 12. Trying many things from Medication or ‘Therapy’, which have been fruitless. My remaining wish is to end my life, upon the completion of the planning for pre and post.
I am not here for a lecture from those opposed to suicide, accept that people make informed decisions about life and death every day.
I write to this forum to seek advice on ways to painlessly end my life. I would like to plan my death, to ensure that I take care of all of the necessary legalities, as well as the logistics in taking my life in a way that enables me to pass to the other side without a big deal.
At 35 years of age, without family responsibilities, have a successful life in the traditional sense of the word, money, material stuff etc. These material possessions are by-products of me trying to beat depression by immersing myself in work, not adding to my happiness or unhappiness.
I have suffered with depression since the age of 12. Trying many things from Medication or ‘Therapy’, which have been fruitless. My remaining wish is to end my life, upon the completion of the planning for pre and post.
I am not here for a lecture from those opposed to suicide, accept that people make informed decisions about life and death every day.
I am 32 years old and I think of suicide every day. I have made a mess of my life. I have lost my family no fault of theirs. I can’t keep a relationship. My best will never be enough. I am too tired to fight anymore.
I am 32 years old and I think of suicide every day. I have made a mess of my life. I have lost my family no fault of theirs. I can’t keep a relationship. My best will never be enough. I am too tired to fight anymore.
A lot of people or ‘younger people’ don’t understand the permanent nature of suicide. why do you want to do this? are you really in so much physical and mental pain that ending your one and only existence in this universe is the only answer? have you really tried every method to fight this depression? do you want to feel better or do you like being miserable?.. you really have to look deep inside yourself and ask yourself these questions..if you’re doing it out of hatred or spite its pointless…you’ll never be able to see the looks on everyones faces who made you miserable. i suffer from depression and every day is exhausting just trying to get myself out of bed. i feel lethargic 24/7 and i constantly feel like shit. i’ve had reoccurring suicidal thoughts for the past couple years but when you’re depressed you don’t think clearly. the only reason i chose not to is because i can’t even imagine how heartbroken my mom, who has been trying everything to help me with my depression for these last few years would be, and my sister who has been my voice of reason. i can’t do that to them. i know, I’ve been there and its the worst feeling in the world to be pushed to that point. i know everyone says this but it really can’t stay like this forever. it can only get better because you’re at the lowest. we have to fight this…
p.s don’t give up.
god has to be a SADIST to have created a world like this. god and the devil are together hand in hand playing the fuck with our lives, so fuck god, fuck the devil. I wish someone would end this whole fuckin world with a nuclear bomb.
i just can’t cope. i’m a bad person. i use drugs to hide it, i can’t cope without them. i have been a fake for years, just pretending that everything is o.k. its not. i want to really cause some pain to other people just to show them a little tiny peice of how i feel, but i can’t. i am full of hate. hate has taken over, i have tried to be strong. i am a dangerous person. i need to die
Do any of you know what your doing? Don’t think about just yourself, think about the people around you your hurting. Make something of your life. Don’ throw a pity party for yourself. I bet right now your thinking what would this girl know what I’m going through? Oh trust me, I do. I’ve tried to commit.
Peter Prentice: You think suicide is cool so you want to do it? Besides the fact you think it’s cool, why do you want to?
Seba: Nothing in your life could be worth killing yourself for. Even pain.
Out of Brain: If you want to get rid of everything, make it better.
Ryan: You have so much to live for little man. High school. Dating. Girls. Marriage. You have your whole life ahead. There is no need to end it now sweetie.
Margaret: Wow. Now I can see where your coming from. You think that nothing will ever turn around. But look back on everthing that has happened to you, everything you’ve overcome. If you can go through all of that then why end it now. If you want to change your life, do it.
Chan: I think since people may think you act so normal that if you told them what you were thinking, they would help you in a heartbeat. You obviously have a lot of people around you that care. Go to them.
Preston: You have so many things going for you. What’s so bad that you think you have to end your life right at this second?
Christopher Pratt: If you end your life now, your son won’t have a fatherly figure to grow up with in your life. What do you think your wife would have to go through if you did this to yourself. You should go to your doctor and get put on neurontin. My grandmother had chronic pain and I was so tired of her crying because of the pain so I got her put on neurontin and now she is fine. Look into it..please
Firediamond: Email me. spunk_sam@yahoo.com or call me 1-317-385-7172
Zzz: All act of suicide harmful. They might not harm you, but they harm the ones around you who love you. Your 15. Live a little. Instead of hurting yourself, you should sing, write music or learn an instrument. Trust me it helps.
Grey’s girl: If you kill yourself, your not only never going to be with him, you didn’t honor his name like everyone person should do for someone that has died that was close to them. I know that right now it feels like none of this pain will ever go away. But you need to go out. Go out with some friends. Start out small. Do something that three years ago you would have never done. You have the power to make yourself better.
Cassie: We’ve all been there. And it sucks a lot. Whydon’t you propose something to your parents. You do this and you get to go to a party or bowling or the movies. If you let this get you down. Then once you get older a million more things will control your life.
I love life: You are seriously idiotic. You have no clue what any of them are going through. All your doing is proving them right about all the stupid people in the world. Your what, some stupid little 14 or 15 or 16 year old that thinks they know everything. Once you have terrible problems, you’ll understand. Till then, keep your trap shut!
Chloe: If you think God doesn’t exist? Where do you think we came from?
Someone: Your just another one of these people that has had everything handed to them so you think you know everything. Grow up.
Tom: You can change everything that has happened to you. Just try. I know you don’t want to. But you have everything to live for. You can have an amazing life if you just try. Don’t ever give up!
To all: If I didn’t respond to you, I’m sorry. I will always be here for all of you. My email is spunk_sam@yahoo.com. My number is 317-385-7172. When you need help, contact me. I’m always here.
Ashley, “your only existence in this universe” How do you know? Nobody does!
It can only get better when you at the lowest? Believe me, when you think your at the lowest, you’re not. You will find out that you can get lower and lower; lower than you ever think is possible. And than you wish you were back at the point from before.
For decades I have been thinking with every little thing that this might be it, this might help me to get out of the hole; only to find out that it doesn’t and pushes you even further down. Now I am at the point that I don’t hope or think; I just let things go, because it will never happen.
Sometimes I start believing in reincarnation: there must be a reason to deserve a live like this.
I can’t believe you guys are all giving up on life. Everyone experiences shite times in their lives when you feel that nothing else can go wrong, but the challenge is to work through these obstacles and get stronger. Unless you have a serious terminal illness, there is no excuse for suicide, it’s a cowards way out.
You may feel that you will be free from pain, but you will give that pain to your friends and relatives for the rest of their lives, it’s so selfish. they will forever wonder if they could have done more to help and may blame themselves.
I don’t believe in God, but I do believe in spirits and I think that unless you resolve your problems in life before you die, you will not move onto a peaceful plane. Ghosts and spirits that are experienced by people are often found to have had died an unnatural death.
My advice is DON’T DO IT! There is ALWAYS someone out there that can help you, if you think there isn’t, you just haven’t looked hard enough.
No matter how rubbish you think life is, it can always get better, a lot of people who have tried and failed to commit suicide, turn their lives around and are glad they gave life another chance.
Good luck with life.
I have to get this out.
I left my boyfriend after 4 years 4 months ago.
We have a beautiful baby girl together shes 2.
First guy after my ex I have sex with gives me Herpes.
I can never get rid of this, no one will ever touch me again:(
AND Its now never possible to try working things out with my ex ever again.
I can no longer enjoy 1 of the things i love most in life because of this.
I feel so lost, this has broken me completly…
If im not careful I can pas it to my baby girl when i change her diapers or anything else.
Shes better off with her dad I guess then with a mom thats completly shattered and has no use to no one but taking up space.
Since i left my inncome is now very low since im alone.
I cant pay all my bills, I cant afford to eat or do anything. BUT I make sure my babygirl have everything she needs.
Its soon xmas, and I have nothing! I dont want anything I just want to be left alone to die.
Dont know why Im telling you this, dont think theres anything you can say to change my mind I just had to tell someone:(
– Emty Angel –
I’m in 2nd year university in a justice program. A good relationship well..long distance one and I really don’t see the point of going on. I’m sorta sick of being on the tight ropes of everything really. Its not that I can’t handle it, because I am, I just don’t want to continue to do so. There are others in the world who probably do have it worse but honestly, do any of you care for those you don’t know? Anywho I have a dumb mom who makes up excuses for everything, school where profs are not reliable. No father since he is past away. this long distance gf of mine is loyal but really slow and can’t remember things like my own birthday. What is important to her is clearly does not involve me. Can’t really get a job because my references are outdated and If there was an easy painless pill that could end it, probably take it before going to sleep,I’d do it. I don’t hate the world or its people, I just don’t like how I’m unable to surpass it since I’m always stuck underneath it all.
your all a bunch of pussies. if you have family know that will not get any sympathy after you kill yourself. you will just leave your loved ones sad and angry. a family member of mine killed herself a few weeks back and i will assure you we are all very fustrated and hurt after what she has done. instead of selfishly killing yourself why dont you do something good like working for charity for example. seeing as you are ready to throw your life away you may aswell commit yourself to helping people who are in need of help.
stop feeling sorry for yourself because nobody else does. you dont get sympathy when you look for it. people do not want to hear your war stories; everybody goes through shit in life so stop being so weak.
please help me. im so sick of everything and everyone. i just wish i was dead. email me.
help feel like shit have dun for a long time just wantit to end
I have stumbled upon this page and continued reading the many comments on the page as well and couldnt help but want to comment on many of them.
Im going to comment on both side of the fence and if I say things I shouldnt i apologize now.
First of all Suicide is a form of weakness however I think when people have no safe haven be it famliy friends etc…it seems the easy way out. I have contemplated many times. I still ask my girl if I can get a handgun just to have in the house. I may wake up one morning and just say…F it im done. Most times just the thought of leaving people I care about stops me. Again, why am I still putting everyone elses feelings before my own?
Some of the comments on here are from people that are just plain ignorant or maybe went through this and have survived, not pulled the trigger ya know. I have head trips most days of the week, I dont expect people to listen to my “WAR STORIES” because they are MINE…my decisions in life, my mistakes and misfortunes,though I still feel like it would be better off me not being around.
The one thing I always hated is…”If you kill yourself your going to hurt everyone around you that loves you” listen people unless your in these shoes you have no idea. Unless you have headspace so F’d up you have no clue what its like. But if people really loved me….Why do I still feel this way. Maybe they are not good enough, maybe im not good enough. The decision is still mine, regardless, Like all the other decisions that led me to even think of hurting myself.
I think its more selfish for these people to continue thinking of themselves when my brain makes me want to do things the “NORM” thinks I shouldnt do. Parents, Teachers, Friends, the F’n bible…
So first of all if your on a website where people are reaching out to each other, and your not sympathetic enough to lend an ear….go download porno, its morons like you that make people feel the way they do. But you wouldnt get it…you wouldnt understand, I do applaud you though for trying to stick your chest out and make people believe that they can just snap out of whatever f’s them up.
For all the people like me, I can only say that Music/Poetry/writing has helped me. It may not help you, however I play guitar, I scream when I need to scream, and cry when I need to cry..and im a 31 year old man. find solace in something that keeps your mind off the hurt. The only way you can be honest without hurting people around you is to write your thoughts down, be honest with your self. You will be surprised what comes out. You will never be able to make others understand what your going through. As long as you understand whats hurting you, whats eating you alive, you have a better chance at fixing it.
Anyone who tells you your feelings are void, invalid, are shallow. Simply Put. Dont try to make them understand, just find your outlet, there has to be something that helps you not think about it as often as you would normally.
I also want to offer up help, if any of you need to chat, feel free to email me, sometimes support systems work I guess, Just never let anyone tell you your wrong about how you feel inside..they dont know…
Good luck to all of you, Im sure you will make it through, smile a bit more, even if its fake, just smile.
Vinnie C.
I’ve not died
I didn’t have the courage to kill myself by using harmful methods
I am coward
but, let me tell all of you
you are not alone…
some or maybe all of us experience hard times and difficult life
maybe for some of us(especially for those who are sensitive and weak), it is extremely hard
But, we can’t do anything…
that’s life…
I really wanna die, but I can only wait…
I’m struggling to survive even though it’s hard
feel free to chat with me and share your thought… (despair_zzz@yahoo.com)
I think overdose on sleeping pills is the best and harmless way of dying
If you have money then spend it for buying drugs
it’ll make you happy and you’ll die slowly
isn’t my ideas great?
I’ll try to get some more ways ^^
Committing Suicide is our choice and I think it’s the best way to finish all of your fucking problems and this fucking difficult life
GOD DOESN’T EXIST
if He does, why doesn’t He help our fucking problems???
Keep on living = strong
Commit suicide = clever
Wow. I read of all these. A friend of mine, 51, just killed himself and let his wife, children and grandchildren totally full of pain and now their lives are totally messed up. Yes, life is hard and there can be lots of pain….BUT and that’s a big but (I have a big butt), but quit whining and learn to GIVE…period. GIVE and alppreciate that you wake up….be curious, be strong, have a sense of humor and learn to laugh and love better. you can do it.
Suicide..some say its the easy way out, I agree. There is no god, face it, perhaps we all are a part of god? Hence we should be the ones deciding our lives; or whether or not to end them. Pain is a natural part of life, realize this. Don’t listen to other people they don’t know your thoughts one bit nor do they share your feelings. In this world there are far too many problems for every person to deal with. Those who decide to deal with them are the weak ones. They are the ones who lie to themselves daily to make themselves believe there is something worth living for, answer me this, what is that? What is life worth living for? Love? Well we lose it and it causes us more pain. There is nothing we can do to change anything, we can never really say we did anything helpful in life other than being alive. I have attempted suicide many times, I am also quite young. One would contradict that I haven’t seen life but oh, have I. I have the seen the pain it creates, the overwhelming feeling of self hate it causes and the tremendous amount of insanity it brings. I am not running away from anything other than this terrible world. I have went through enough that I honestly don’t want to live anymore. I want unfractured silence, peace of my soul and simplistic tendings. Not even plastering a fake plastic smile upon your tear stained face can improve the quality of your life. Nothing will. Death to me, it is not an end, it is a new beginning. One that I want badly eough to suffer through the last minutes of this era. Friends come and go, love never lasts; problems soar to new heights, but the choice of revival is yours alone; Death will always walk in your shadow holding your hand awaiting the day you finally face the horrible inenvitable truth and he becomes your saviour in the world of despair.
i’ve thought of suicide many times, but i chicken out each time. the closest i got was taking a paracetamol overdose, but my liver is very healthy so it had no effect.
at the moment, my mental health is terrible. a lot of family members died last year and then i accidentally killed my bird last month(the one thing i loved more than anything in the world). when i was younger i was strong, ambitious determined and clever. but now im a weak coward who fails at everything and has no future. i’ve tried to let everyday pass by and hope that i can just make it through the many decades until i die of old age, since i don’t want people to look down on me and say i’m a failure again because i gave up on life.
the way i have sought to cope while avoiding the quick exit is to go numb. i can hardly feel anything any more, cuting or hitting myself has no pleasurable pain.i can’t taste. and my memories are disappearing. my intelligence has dropped and now i feel like i’m completely alone.my heart hurts from the invisible hole. i have 2 family members living with me, but i just see them as strangers in the house. i don’t know who i am any more.
i see life as a game, and right now i just want to quit this game and go start another one. but the only way to get out of the game is to die.
a phrase i heard a long time ago is what i am going to leave my message at. it was a long time ago i saw it so may not be exact.
you can live life to the fullest
but no one gets out alive
i am writing this as a mother who has came through and beat deppression , please dont let this terrible disease win , think of it as i did its not us who want to die its the ilness trying to kill us , trust me i have came through it and you can too
oppoRtunyties comes once in life but I HAD NO OPPORTUNITIES.
I WAND finish with myself but i cannt,because i am coward
people write easy way to prepare myself to suicide.please.
I won’t bother writing my history, but I’m a survivor…
I might have been through what you did, I might have not…
I am glad survived.
When life exhaust you your reason to live… find another…
Sometimes everything we want is around us… we’re just too self-absorbed to notice them… why not make a change? What is the risk in it compared to the value your life? You’ll be surprised with what you might find…
Society might be only interested in results, but sometimes its the journey that matters.
can someone plz help me? i m 11 and already have a rough life….. i want to die….. my family hates me…… i have a bf who loves me but not enough…..(
I am 13 and I already fucked up my life so bad. My family is a mess. Sure I go to church but the thought of suicide has been haunting me for months. Nobody loves me, I have no reason to live. I need a painless way to murder myself. I tried strangleing myself many times and was so close. But that was when i had a purpos in life, now I don’t. I think tonight’s the night. nobody can help me now. @ shitlife AT LEAST YOU HAVE A BF I HAVE NOBODY I NEVER HAD A BF AND NEVER WILL! My mom hates me she never let’s me express my self. My dad is a stoner who could care less if I die. My friends will miss me but will move on. The guy I love played me. I’m going to strangle my self. The only thing I will miss is Edgar Allan Poe. Him and I relate in so many ways. Now that we are both dead. If anybody can give me a good reason to live by midnight tonight then i will reconsider other than that I leave this world with a good bye and a see you in a next life (if you belive inb all that crap)
Wow, counting mine and Alexis’ comment above, this thread has been going on for EIGHT YEARS. (Were it a person, the a.s.h site itself, “conceived” in 1989, is now old enough to buy alcohol.) Proof positive that there will always be those who see death as the ideal escape of their woes and always have been. I’m in the camp that not only believes suicide to be ultimately no one’s decision but the individual, but wishes to die myself. My only fears are of “botching the job” and becoming crippled and/or brain-damaged, or surviving intact and ending up in some wretched Ratched house under constant watch. Not a pleasant existence, but suffice it to say the present one I have isn’t necessarily going to get better.
Here’s my contention on the matter: The criminality of suicide, based upon supposed moral absolutes, bears striking similarities to the criminality of abortions. Women still sought methods of terminating pregnancy, which were unsafe and dangerous and resulted with grave injuries (if not violent death). Many were themselves committed to psychiatric hospitals under the premise that terminating a pregnancy was a symptom of mental instability — after all, it was considered “infanticide,” and no “rational” person would ever voluntarily wish to end a life, especially not one of an “unborn child.” Since women, of course, are the only ones biologically capable of bearing children, they were the ones held responsible for their “crime,” or most responsible (abortionists were charged as well), especially in circumstances resulting from unwed pregnancies, as being unwed and pregnant was itself considered a “sin” and lapse in moral judgment. The stereotype of the emotionally labile woman often entered into consideration here; not only was it considered “crazy” to want to end the “life” of an unborn “child,” but since women were considered “crazy” anyway, prone to such things as “hysteria” and “lunacy,” then no amount of rational argument could arise from her defense simply because she is female and therefore possessed. Joseph Heller never documented or experienced firsthand such a degree of Catch-22, simply because he wasn’t named Josephine.
Since the horrible days of those dark ages preceding the women’s movement and the landmark 1973 U.S. Supreme Court decisions of Roe v. Wade and the lesser-mentioned Griswold v. Connecticut, abortion is not, in most of the public landscape (save for radical fringe conservative ideology), considered “infanticide” or the violent attack on an innocent fetus by a demon-possessed madwoman defenestrating her “sacred” womb. It is sound healthcare. My belief is that just as the decriminalization of abortion, at least in much of Western society, and the advancement of safe, sanitary medical procedures, has all but put a stop to the “back-alley” variety of horror stories past, then so too would the decriminalization of suicide result in a major decrease of violent self-administered measures — “back-alley suicides” — such as hanging, gunshot wounds, jumping from high points, and overdoses on various DIY chemical compounds, the mixture of which carries with it a risk of unknown, and usually permanently damaging, side effects. Not to mention the seeming necessity for psychiatric hospitalization and the untold problems incurred with that: risk of abuse by staff, especially doctors and clinicians; risk of abuse from other patients, many of whom are incarcerated under court order for crimes that pose a danger to others, such as rape, murder, and violent assault; and the general feeling of worthlessness, despair, and resistance that comes with being “incarcerated” as though one were some sort of criminal in need of protection from oneself. The medical model of hospitalization does nothing to ensure betterment of individual quality of life excepting that of adherence to one’s supposedly ascribed social role — the dehumanizing assembly-line of school, work, family, and “natural” death that is all but enforced upon anyone who dares to do things differently or, failing that, choose non-existence over the doldrums of workaday picket-fence boredom.
Apologies for this TL;DR posting, but I felt the need to add my own two cents to this discussion. I have visited a.s.h. on several occasions and in fact lament its condition at present, rife with “trolls” and spammers who believe they find a safe harbor in the Usenet community as 99% of the mainstream internet has moved on to independently hosted forums, blog sites such as Google Blogger and WordPress, and Web 2.0 social networks such as Facebook and Twitter. I do not feel the discussion, or even the encouragement, of suicide or euthanasia is necessarily wrong; nor do I feel the discussion of abortion, non-mainstream sexuality, socialism, drug legalization, or hacking should be stopped or filtered by those who claim to be “acting in the public good.” Information is and should be there for the taking; it is up to the individual to decide what s/he does with it. I personally support abortion and suicide and don’t feel it is anyone’s right to intervene in the matter. If, as a female of reproductive age and (unfortunately) capability, my body, as the book says, is myself, then so too does the same argument apply to anyone choosing suicide. Once we can get over our fear and avoidance of death and our irrational attachment to ancient mythical texts as though they were hard-coded law, only then will we be able to move on and allow for safe measures of self-deliverance by anyone who chooses to access them.
Give me liberty. Give me death.
P.S. By the way, I too am of a similar mindset as those oft-mentioned “moody teenagers” (I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and also suffer from abuse-related PTSD), whose cases have made them poster children for the anti-suicide “movement.” But to be 16 years old and able to form such a comprehensive argument for my beliefs, well, I think that ought to be considered a positive in this era of YouTube banality and reality TV.