FIGHT FOR LIFE PROJECT. I'm a social scientist/journalist living in Alberta, Canada searching for 1) personal stories on people living in Alberta who have had a family member suffering from any psychiatric disorder whose life ended in suicide, 2)personal stories from Alberta psychiatric patients/family members who have not been able to access an ethical standard of medical care for themselves/their relative, 3)stories from/about Alberta patients who have relapsed after going off medication on doctors advice/tacit permission. Any stories on the failures of the Alberta Medical system to provide ethical, accessible service to psychiatric patients Stories should be detailed yet concise, double spaced and written under a pseudonym to protect patient/family privacy. I am looking for facts rather than writing style.Include a telephone number and/or e-mail address so that I can contact you if I need further details. I do not open files so please send cut and paste e-mail or mail hard copy to Fight For Life c/o 9848 Oakhill Drive SW, Calgary, Alberta T2V 3X2. The collection of stories will be used to build the foundation of the province-wide Fight For Life Campaign in memory of all those that the system has failed. I am assisted in this project by a number of members in good standing of the Schizophrenia Society of Alberta, Calgary Chapter. Please feel free to circulate this notice far and wide. E. Matthews.

You know what I think you shouldn't have ways to kill yourself on a website!That's taking an easy way out.You have to live life and live the things that go with it.

It's me again,Stop writing ways to kill yourself and start writing ways to teach people that they can fix their problems. Think of people that might really care about you and the way that your death will affect them.Maybe you want to kill yourself because no one likes you. Instead of thinking that way think that in the future you will have someone that cares deeply about you.When you have problems like this try to fix them not just 'oh i tried this way and it didn't help oh well'.Try every possible solution and be happy that at least you tried everything you could to solve a problem.Don't worry everything will get better,it always does for me,but what do I know I'm only 13 years old.

Wow. I wrote this 9 months ago and its quite crass. So i thought that i would clarify my opinion.

I am not depressed, nor looking for ways to kill myself. But i do recognize that most people die in a brutal amount of pain. This is the fallacy of American culture. There are different notions to suicide: one is to take one's life out of a selfish need. The second is to take one's life before one dies due to pain, simply because the unnecessary pain, suffering and medical expenses stem out of a foolish misreading of Christian texts.

When a friend's mother was dying of cancer, she asked her children to come take her home from the hospital. She was dying and the doctorshad given up all forms of treatment. She was in a lot of pain. She asked her son to let her go in peace. He acquired a lethal dose of pain killers and in the presence of her children, she slipped safely into the other side. She died happy, speaking with her children, leaving on her terms not the medical industrial complex's. And the only reason they were able to do this was because they were not in the US.

From my perspective, i will take my life when i am no longer able to take care of myself, when i am a burden on those around me and when i am in so much perpetual pain that life is not really being lived. Not all acts of suicide are simply selfish, but many of complex relationships to those around you.

I would rather die in peace, saying my goodbyes to those that i love than in anguish and pain when my body can't take the weight of the pain any longer.

Sorry - but you're wrong on quite a few things there, Zephoria. You need to take some responsibility for what you write, as well. When you write a page and post it on the web, a lot of different people can read it. Some people are more impressionable than others, so grow up.

1. 'Most people' do NOT die 'in a brutal amount of pain'. Pain control is much, much better these days than it was a few years ago. I've had a couple of relatives die of cancer. They weren't in any pain. Your remarks are reactionary and dangerous.

2. Suicide generally destroys people's lives. It leaves terrible feelings of guilt with those left behind - regardless of the motives. It is selfish.

Now - stop being such a drama queen, and get out and live your life, instead of sitting on your arse and dreaming up ways to kill yourself.

i want to die please tell me how i can kill myself

hi i think that suicide is cool and i want to do it right now but want the easiest way of doing it so have a great live

hi,
Well the pain i'm going through i feel like killing my self every moment i live and would hate to see the next minute at any point of time. Life has become pointless seems have lost track and pain is elivated every moment.

Please tell me the easisest way out. Though I've found a few.
bye
BP

Hi brother..i want to know the easy way to cut my life without pain...help me

Why do people think there is a way to stop someone from killing himself? In my experience, a person has already made up his mind about ending himself before opening his mouth or seeking a place on the net where to talk about these things. So it doesn't make any difference what people say once you start thinking how to commit suicide.

What is the best way to write about something as personal as this?

Well, I admit, on several occasions I've harmed my self. Cut my arm and went to my suicide location. Spent sleepness nights, lonely nights, pain filled nights.

What pain? What suffering? What excuses do I have? Well, I don't think I should tell you. I'm not commenting to be torn down by 'reactionaryies' or pro-life visionaries.

However, I'll say this... People respect me, many love me. I have a strong reciprocal adult relationship. I have sex when I want. I work hard, have a nice body, am intelligent and have finished a 1/3 of my work for a hard science PhD. And I am young, but not too young. I practice Yoga several times a week, exercise, and blah , blah I do it right. Stick to it...

Learn to relax, no let me tell you something. Or let me ask you something? Do you really believe in what you believe? Do you really accept God or are you lying to yourself. Have you looked life in the eye? Do you try? Or are you so bloated from what society says or you religion says or you body for that matter, that you can't realize that life is suffering?

And yes, I've been on Prozac, Zoloft, and now on Paxil. And I've even started on Ayurveda, ancient hindu herbal medicine. Does it work? A little... but life is still there beating us in the face?

What are we here for? What do we see in nature? Well let me tell you it is fucking? Or more politely it is procreation and the evolvement of life. Protect life.

We are slaves serving an unknown master for an unknown cause. We are brought into this world and forced to solve problems that we didn't start. Isn't that what a slave does? And then we are suppose to say "thank you, massa. please don't beat me." And then turn our eyes when something happens to our brother or sister or anyone one else, even an animal or an insect.

Turn a blind eye. Yes, how many people can not have the courage, but just look and try to live life and accept it for what it is and not for some imagined state of being?

Because there is a real world. Scientists and engineers make automobiles run and planes fly, they don't do it by magic. It is a reality independent of our beliefs in it.

And scientifically, or logically, what happens after we die? Where are all the dead people? If they are in some mystical realm, wouldn't they have come back for one of us? To tell us in a definitive way? You mean to tell me there isn't anyone who loves us that much to prove it. Not like Jesus and then dissappear for 2000 years, but stay around. Why isn't there a governing council of the dead?

And you want to analyze me? Whatever... if you take anything away from this, remember that there are people who admit that the purpose of life is unknown and good people suffer for no just cause and for the most part when we die we are dead

and when you accept that into your heart, you want to die, without any fantasies around you. However, there are people who have spent their lives looking into the light many scientists, leaders, and ordinary people and have seen the pain and fought on... admitting they didn't know

and those are the people who inspire me, however, who am I or anyone else to cast the stone on another if life gets to hard? Anyways, how much of us is determined by genetics anyways?

Hey I see it this way death is a person who loves killing i guess.....
Every time i see a family member die i am sad really sad
So i get angry at death so i see it this way i make death wait because i will die anyway so srew it you know you dont have a choice really wether to die now or later. You will die You dont know what will happen after death but in life you know what is going to happen 80% of the time so Just live now your life will end sooner or later let it HAPPEN LATER lIVE so you make a difference bad and good for me please

Hey I see it this way death is a person who loves killing i guess.....
Every time i see a family member die i am sad really sad
So i get angry at death so i see it this way i make death wait because i will die anyway so srew it you know you dont have a choice really wether to die now or later. You will die You dont know what will happen after death but in life you know what is going to happen 80% of the time so Just live now your life will end sooner or later let it HAPPEN LATER lIVE so you make a difference bad and good for me please

i also feel the pain. it feels like everything that is hidden in your inside is about to explode, but you somehow have to keep it in you, keep things in place. until one day when pain is too much to take, you will want to let go and stop. i dunno where i could hide, i dunno who i could talk to. the way i keep myself together is by cutting myself. for me, a little of the pain is released when i see blood coming out of the wound. although only a little of the pain is released, it feel better afterward. i want to die. i want to let go of this pain. i want to scream. i can't seek any help, people wouldn't believe me. they will think i just want to attract attentions because i behave so normally most of the time. but no one knows that the pain is killing me inside. i want a rest, a long rest. i want to die.

i also feel the pain. it feels like everything that is hidden in your inside is about to explode, but you somehow have to keep it in you, keep things in place. until one day when pain is too much to take, you will want to let go and stop. i dunno where i could hide, i dunno who i could talk to. the way i keep myself together is by cutting myself. for me, a little of the pain is released when i see blood coming out of the wound. although only a little of the pain is released, it feel better afterward. i want to die. i want to let go of this pain. i want to scream. i can't seek any help, people wouldn't believe me. they will think i just want to attract attentions because i behave so normally most of the time. but no one knows that the pain is killing me inside. i want a rest, a long rest. i want to die.

im 14 yrs old. i cant take this anymore. im failing skool and shit. my life is goen downhill. im thinking about killing myself. but im scared of wut lyes ahead after suicide. Hell? wut should i do?? :(

im 14 yrs old. i cant take this anymore. im failing skool and shit. my life is goen downhill. im thinking about killing myself. but im scared of wut lyes ahead after suicide. Hell? wut should i do?? :(

im 14 yrs old. i cant take this anymore. im failing skool and shit. my life is goen downhill. im thinking about killing myself. but im scared of wut lyes ahead after suicide. Hell? wut should i do?? :(

I want to die i just dont want to go with out experiencing the joy of sex can anyone help. I am in fort wayne and go to Northrop High School please come visit me between 12:30 and 1:05 you can even take me with you if you would like you can just kidnap me and keep me away please do this soon. If you come in at 12:00 go to the planetarium and ask for Deborah K. and I will go with you please help. I am also ok for girls too. I have my tongue pierced too. Someone please come take me from this pain.

I want to die i just dont want to go with out experiencing the joy of sex can anyone help. I am in fort wayne and go to Northrop High School please come visit me between 12:30 and 1:05 you can even take me with you if you would like you can just kidnap me and keep me away please do this soon. If you come in at 12:00 go to the planetarium and ask for Deborah K. and I will go with you please help. I am also ok for girls too. I have my tongue pierced too. Someone please come take me from this pain. thats in Indiana

i want to be kidnapped and i want to have sex before i die so someone in Fort Wayne Indiana come to Northrop High School at around 12:00 and go to the Planetarium and ask for debbie k and just take me away. I am ok with the whole two girls and a guy thing plus i have my tongue pierced and no gag reflexes. Please come get me and take me away. i need the experience of sex please someone help me.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am a Homeless person in San Francisco.

Because of my having befriended an African American male for 22 years, I was never afraid of going in and out of Homeless shelters where most of the clients are African Americans.

Yet due to unfortunate public verbal abuse expressed by the very friend I mentioned above, I now fear African Americans.

It so happens that my Filipino counselor at the City PAES program tells me that I "HAVE TO" see her African American boss before an arrangement can be made for me to see another counselor (I had questionable encounter with a white counselor who was provoking me and thus had to ask the City for a change of counselors.)

I am 51 years old with very little energy left to be of much service to the nation or humanity...

Because of a police record in Berkeley which cannot be expunged, I much doubt I could purchase a gun.

I feel there is no other option for me but to seek out a way to end my life.

I'd appreciate if you could send me information how I may exit this troubled world most painlessly.

And please do not try to talk me out of it.

- Margaret

I,m 23 years old, have my own house that is paid for, and a good job. My life isnt the worst but i think that if you want to take your own life that that is your bussiness, no one elses. I personally am considering it at this very moment.The only reason that i probably wont do it is because i'm scared that I will go to hell. The US government wants you to live so that they can tax you, tell you what to think, and tell you what to do. With out us, this nation would collapse. The sooner the better if you ask me.

I dont know what to do im always thinking of it i just cant stop how can i suicide painlessly

I am pretty much ready to go, but I fear what it will do to my wife and my son. I have a bad spinal injury that causes constant terrible pain. I can't get away from the pain when I am awake. I am always sad when I wake up because I know the pain will come rushing back in only a few seconds. It is a horrible way to live and I'm tired of it.

I've been battling suicide for the last year, and have made three attempts in the past, one a head on car accident with no seatbelt, one taking every single prescription pill in the house, and once i sliced my forearm open and let it bleed out, unfortunately none of them were a success (obviously), If my father had not come home and found me unconcious i would not be here, and i would have preferred it that way. I've been into mental hospitals for self harm on a few occasions and they were no assistance at all. When you have lost all of your friends because of the issues i've had in my life that they couldn't deal with, when people you fall in love with continue to lie and decieve me, when my family is nowhere to be seen for support, it leaves me feeling worthless, unwanted and useless. I've become nothing but a burdon on anyone around me, and anyone i talk to just doesn't understand. There are few people that are prepared to help, and they are those who have already experianced what it is like to lose someone to suicide, and that is keeping me alive at the moment, two people, of whom i dont even know, the best friend of my ex, who was the catalyst for all of this. Having no job, having lived in my car for 6 months before someone helped me get a roof over my head, unable to put food in the fridge, having the police cost me my job because of a breach of privacy and a legal fight against the police because of it, being in mediation with the whole family to try and repair the damage that has been done. Being continually knocked back for jobs because "we dont think you'll fit in" or "you dont fit the culture but you have the exact experiance were looking for. Almost everyone i've come across in this world is selfish and immoral who will say what others think they want to hear to get what they want, Most are subversive and deceptive. I've done everything i can to try and regain my spirit, i've got professional help, tried antidepressants and they just leave you feeling nothing, never happy, but never sad. Thats still no life. At my last attempt which was almost a success (bleeding out for 4 hours before dad found me outside) i was asessed psychologically, they sent me home saying that i was still thinking RATIONALLY. THIS IS THE ISSUE, it has become a rational decision to end my life, i have concidered all of the options and tried just about all of them. Reading many of the messages here there are some who are looking for an easy way out, there are others who know their time is comming and want to have their final moments the way they want them to be, and there are others that have made a concise decision through rational thinking to end their life as it is. One thing i will say is that suicide is not a true option for ONE thing not going right, your whole life has to have basically stopped before you even consider death if your not ill. And one other thing. If you are in so much emotional pain, you do not feel any physical pain, and i say this from experiance. so trying to find a way to commit suicide without pain, if you have enough pain, your already there. as for those others seeing as i have considered many options, the easiest way is short and fast. lay your head over train tracks, noise then a few seconds later, nothing, no time to register any pain. Jump off a building and imagine your flying with your eyes closed, you wont survive the fall, if you do, your time is not up and you still have a purpose. Inject yourself with enough heroin and cocaine to put you in a coma, but this can be expensive (about 1000 bucks would be enough to cover how much you would need). As you can see i've thought about this irrationally and rationally over the last few years, and battled with it seriously for the last 12 months or so.
A friend into the spritual side of things said that if you commit suicide that you will come back (reincarnation) and relive the same pain over and over and do the same thing as a punishment for taking your life. Maybe we'll never know. Either way, ITS TODAYS 'SOCIAL SYSTEM' that causes the problem. If people could find a way not to hate, not to lie this world would not be full of so much pain.
When your time is up, your time is up.
I live life to love life, but i cannot love life if there is no love within it.
I wish everyone all the best with their battles and hope the best comes for you all, my clock is already ticking, monday is the day set, noone knows. Three days to make amends and say my goodbyes to those i care deeply for. Time is running out

only the weak ones kill themselfs...the strong endure until the last second, head held high ready for the end.

only the weak ones kill them selfs...the strong endure until the last second, head held high ready for the end.
yes thats true but reality is i am weak and emotionally empty,
i couldn't find enough reasons to keep myself alive(for what, why should i continue suffer this pain of non contained, worthlessness, pointless life, aimless, meaningless life).
I am alone and lonely, though i am having my family and friends around me i don't feel like i stay alive just for that reason.

I am unhappy and in this state from last few years,i don't enjoy anything,
i don't have any feeling of joy or sadness, i don't feel like talking to my family, i ignore my old friends, i just want somehow-someone to switch the main powers off and end every feeling and sense that i have.

I understand all of the feelings expressed by all of you here who want to end your life now, or at some point.
I've had suicidal urges at various times throughout my life, but have never seriously attempted it due to fear of the unknown (I'm basically a coward) and not knowing a tried and true painless method of doing it. I realize that taking your life may affect those around you, but our life is the one and only thing that each and every one of us has that we can call "our own' - regardless of age, race, geography, socio-economic status, etc...

In my estimation, everyone has a right to do as he or she pleases with that life - because no one can ever really know or understand a person's pain, despite how much they think. All of us do selfish things in life - it's human nature - otherwise we'd all be Buddhas and Jesuses. The decision to end one's own pain, or to end one's own life for whatever reasons (the judgement of "good or bad" reasons is completely subjective) is just another act of human behavior. It seems to be in our nature as humans to feel this urge, considering all of the suicides - successful, attempted or just thought about - throughout our existence.

My heart goes out to all of you - whether you decide to end it all or not. I know what it is to feel despair and complete loneliness, despite not being alone. I also sympathize with the terminally ill, who do not want to endure unnecessary pain and discomfort before the end. I and my family watched my father endure extreme pain and discomfort as he was succumbing to lung cancer before we finally gave him enough morphine to put an end to it. Nobody should have to endure such suffering - and I don't think it is "weak" or "selfish" to check out early because of it. Each of us is made differently, with different pain thresholds. Mine is reaching its limit these days...

Good luck to all of you

I do not think that suicide is a cowards way out. Nor do I think people who want to kill themselves are weak. It takes a very brave person to commit to a choice of that magnitude and although I have often wanted to kill myself I am too weak and cowardly to go through with it.
There are alot of people out there who genuinely dont have a way out and life is just too painfull, physically and emotionally. If you have nothing more to contribute to the world and there is nothing this world can give to you then you no longer have a purporse.

Human life is only special to the individual. The world doesnt notice my existance. Hundreds of people die every day. We are just part of this over-populated species. The way we go is how we will be remembered. And I plan to go out with a big big big bang!