managing sources

It’s not surprising that everyone loves Google, as it continues to be the topic of so much controversy. And personally, i love the controversy as it reflects so much on people. Yesterday, i brought up that people were starting to think about its impact on privacy. Tonite, i ran into an article questioning whether or not Google was ruining students abilities to think. Of course, i read this article as i was taking a food break from websurfing for sources for my thesis.

I’ve got into the most hysterical of habits. I’m sitting in my room, surrounded by the 92 books that i deemed “thesis related” and did not move to my mother’s in preparation of my upcoming move. Yet, academics and other writers are *terrible* indexers. Thus, as an example, i just picked up one of Lacan’s books and Googled for the concept/term that i knew he said at some point in the 296 page book. Much to my dismay, i learned a long time ago that magically waving my hands at a book and screaming “grep” will not result in figuring out what page a quote is on. Thus, i Google. Google gives me a page number from someone’s paper and i look it up in the text. Voila, i’ve got my source and can read the full context of what it was that i wanted.

Google has definitely made me lazy, although i’m not sure how much. I’m a terrible note taker. In fact, i can’t read my own handwriting so unless it made it to the computer, i can’t read it. Thus, my books are all underlined but i can’t read the notes along the side, so i’ve stopped writing more than one word there. Regardless, sticky notes do not ease my problems in finding an idea from a book that i’ve read. But writing notes onto the computer has many other problems. So, i’ve given up on note taking for the most part. I read, voraciously, and never remember the source for something i’ve read. Thus, when i invariably need the source for something, i rely on Google. Some student, somewhere has referenced the idea in one of their papers. Thus, i find out what they are quoting and go back to the original source to reconsider that section of the text. (Of course i am also fundamentally aware that you cannot ever trust someone else’s source. And given my aversion to the library and my love of half.com, this recognition resulted in my need to move 16 boxes of books home last weekend. But still…)

Google may have made unmotivated schoolchildren unbelievably lazy, but it has also helped us lazy academics focus on the ideas and have our notetaking eased into oblivion.

tarot cards

I never quite know what to make of horoscopes and tarot cards and the like. I’ve never believed in astrology or its meanings, but i had a little realization today. What i like about them is that they provide feedback, stuff that i already know (partially because i read the horoscope/tarot cards in the light that i want to read it), but they provide the feedback in a way that i’m willing to digest it. I can see a reading and it’s like looking in the mirror, only because of the mysticism and the idea that someone else wrote it, i end up better able to hear what i am actually personally constructing. I never thought about putting astrology into the same vein as self-help, which is silly because it’s all new age, but alas, there are certain things that take a smack upside the head before you’re willing to see them.

I’m still not willing to pay for a tarot reading, as it seems utterly foolish to pay someone to be a mirror. Although that’s quite hypocritical since i think of psychologists in the same light. Only difference is that they are a human presence that lets me work out my shit without causing harm to my friends. Hmm.. and i support shrinks but i don’t support cults. I guess my problem there is that you spend a lot of money under the guise of getting help, but without realizing that their main objective is to make money. Of course, i get weary whenever money is involved..

I need to think about this some more, cause my opinions seem awefully arbitrary on the matter. When can external opinions be valuable or harmful?

ecstasy versus ecstasy

I cannot remember the last time that i read an article on a drug that i didn’t think was dreadfully biased. Usually, they’re either proselytizing the drug or condemning it for all it’s worth. This article about ecstasy has a very level-headed approach: there are pros, there are cons, some information is misinformation, a lot is unknown, safety is being ignored out of fear, fear tactics are not persuasive, the gov’t has lost its credibility in the war on drugs, etc. The arguments are laid out nicely and expressing who does ecstasy and why, while also conveying why the war on ecstasy is failing miserably and resulting in increased usage and deaths. And ultimately, it suggests that no matter what the authorities say, people will make their own decisions and that it is better to inform them and the public at large. I couldn’t agree more.

Plus, the article is clearly written with my favorite quote being: “And while Ecstasy is typically portrayed as the drug of choice among a fringe of bedeviled youngsters with a fondness for glow sticks and all-night dancing, in reality the drug cuts a wide swath across society.” I was quite psyched that the author noted why people did drugs at parties, but also noted that parties were not an excuse for drugs to be sold.

And, in response to an individual’s remarks, the author quoted one of the best quotes about why the gov’t is losing the war on drugs: “I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me” – Winson Churchill.

lack of advisorhood

One of the worst things about my current situation is that i don’t feel as though i have a way to get good advice regarding my thoughts and ideas. I’m not your typical grad student: i don’t operate well in isolation. I need social interaction; i need people to challeng me and make me think. I need people to learn from. And it’s been damn challenging to get that in this environment, which makes it hard to motivate. The school that i’m in, my advisor, the people around me. I want to be pushed and strained; i want to think outside of my box and have those inspirations that only occur when engaging with people.

On the other hand, i know that i’m not alone in being tired of getting no advice. I thought things had improved, but in fact they were just bandaided in a way that made it seem like they were solved, and thus no progress is going to happen. ::sigh:: Must get out of here.

Google & collapsed contexts

Oh! Oh! So, i’ve been bitching about the problems with Google for quite some time, the concerns about privacy, how it collapses contexts, what that means, etc. And every time i say something about that, people remind me that Google is a fabulous company (which i’m actually certain it is) and that everyone is speaking to the public so get over it. But, it’s not that simple. People aren’t speaking to the public like they do in the physical world. The ability to archive, search, etc. collapses contexts and leaves people fundamentally vulnerable.

It made me realize that people aren’t aware of the underlying differences between the physical and the digital. And while my initial flip-out was quite incoherent, i’m starting to have a better grasp of how to address this, how to break it down and discuss the issues in terms of context, faceting of identity and presentation.

And i’m glad to hear that i’m not the only one who thinks that this is a problem that must be addressed! And there’s even a metafilter discussion going on!

[And of course, more on /., which is a quick reminder that /. geeks don’t get social issues or context… too much libertarianism, not enough reality and way too little self-monitoring]

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smoke pot? stay out of jail

Here’s a great little comic to address your legal rights. It’s becoming a police state and most arrests are over drugs. Yet, as we all know, smoking pot is NORML.

I do wonder how long it will be until our society just accepts that pot smoking is not at all different than alcohol. I mean, it’s frustrating to listen to people differentiate the two, when the only similarity is that their legal status is based on politics. Alcohol and tobacco/cotton won. That means that alcohol is legal and marijuana/hemp is not. I still prefer a pothead to an alcoholic any day. At least the former isn’t going to kick my ass and be really noisy.

cracking, ani style

you were always half crazy, now look at you baby
make about as much sense as a nursery rhyme
love is a piano dropped out a four story window
and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time

i don’t like your girlfriend, i blame her
never seen one of your lovers do you so much harm
i loved you first and you know i would prefer
if she didn’t empty her syringes into your arm

here comes little naked me padding up to the bathroom door
to find little naked you slumped on the bathroom floor
so i guess i’ll just stand here with my back against the wall
while you distill your whole life down to a 911 call

so now you bring me your bruises
so i can oh and ah at the display
maybe i’m supposed to make one of my famous jokes that makes everything ok
maybe i’m supposed to be the handsome prince who rides up and unties your hands
or maybe i’m supposed to be the furrow-browed friend who thinks she understands

promoting adventure

We’re going cross country in style! Think Thelma & Louise!

I adore that so many of my friends promote adventure whenever possible. One of my closest friends (and ex) is kindly lending his fantabulous convertible to me and three of my friends in order to promote our cross country driving and festival seeking and my old advisor is lending us his specialized bike rack in order to help the process. ::bounce::bounce:: I cannot wait!!