Six Degrees of Sexual Frustration

Six Degrees of Sexual Frustration is a Village Voice article on Friendster. I have a feeling that we’ll be seeing a lot more of these and it makes me curious to know what the impact will be on growth. I’m also very curious about the article, because it makes Friendster appear to be more expansive than dating. While i know that’s how people use Friendster, i keep wondering how Jonathan Abrams feels about this (as he constantly gives me the impression that his only goal is to replace match.com). Does he realize the value of the diverse usages? Might he recognize that it’s valuable to pay attention to what people are doing and why?

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email hiccups

In the last month, i’ve been privvy to a handful of email hiccups – individual messages that were sent out to a list accidentally, messages that were far too personal to be sent out as such and thus revealed some very disturbing aspects of the senders. It’s also been interesting to see who has apologized and who has not and what form that apology has taken.

These messages, intended for one context and presented in another are quite powerful. They reveal the character of the individual and the importance of perceived context for written communication. More importantly, they are a clear reminder of how easy it is to accidentally shift contexts online and the potential reprocussions of that socially and politically. Of course, the easy RTFM answer is a reminder that all emails should be written as though they are public. In reality, no one ever does this. It drives me batty to think that some technologists think that overriding social tendencies is the best approach.

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New World vs. New Europe

In his blog, Eric posted a set of links about ‘New World vs. New Europe’ that made me scratch my non-existent goatee. In recent days, i’ve been having increasingly more conversations about gendered behavior concerning power management, or more precisely, about how marginalized individuals have different schemes for acquiring and maintaining power through subtle and subversive ways. The articles on Europe made me think about a previous article that i posted and about the differences in power between Europe and the US. But more fundamentally, in combination, they made think about how my thoughts on power management don’t just apply to individuals, but to systems. Europe, having been dwarfted in power by the US in recent years has to be much more subversive, subtle and organized in how it acquires power; brute force no longer works. Conversely, the US continues to just simply carry a big stick in world politics. Of course, this beckons the question: are such alternate forms of negotiation destined to be far more successful or will they always be marginalized by brute force?

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marginalization and power

I had multiple conversations today concerning power management. In all of these, we acknowledged that women tend to use more subtle mechanisms to derive and maintain power, while men tend to just bulldoze. Backing up from this, i believe that what is relevant is not simply sex, but privilege. The more privileged an individual is, the more that power can be taken for granted and the less creative one needs to be to acquire it. Subtlety is an art, a subversive mechanism for overthrowing the norm. Thus, the more intelligent marginalized individuals consistently use subtle means to reach the top. Of course, this plays directly into my thoughts on context. Context is necessary for engaging subtlety, but not for brute force.

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A Friendlier Way to Date Online

Jun. 2, 2003
Time Magazine: A Friendlier Way to Date Online

If you’re an SBF or a DWM looking for love but think online dating is rather creepy, Friendster.com might allay your fears. The site enables you to meet prospective dates exclusively through your friends. It works on the six-degrees-of-separation principle: Jon invites you into his network, you invite your friends, they invite theirs, and so on. (Note: Friendster stops at four degrees.) The whole group can then peruse one another’s profiles; no strangers allowed. With 268,000 members from San Francisco to South Korea and a weekly growth rate of 20%, Friendster has to work hard to keep up with…

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sex and social networks

I met with my new advisor today, which is sooo exciting. The best part about conversations with him is that he is truely interested in issues of sex, race, class, gender and sexuality. And he doesn’t think it odd to randomly go to a cafe and chat about ideas.

In talking, i started to wonder about the maintenance of social networks. I wonder if women are more likely to operate as bridges between diverse clusters. I wonder if this is true even online.

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Koyaanisqatsi

Twice i’ve flown into Chicago this week and twice i’ve flown out, having paid less attention to Chicago itself than its rich suburbs. To my surprise, i even recognized the gas station upon the second entrance and knew where we were in the flight landing pattern. I am in a complete state of awe concerning America. To see suburbia through a aerial perspective is just mindblowing – the thought and consideration that went into rows and rows of identical homes in the idyllically planned suburban community. It’s just a desire that i cannot truly comprehend – i am in awe.

This morning, i encountered Koyaanisqatsi. This movie realizes all of the awe that i felt on that plane, showing the emotional struggle between the beauty and absurdity of American life. Life out of balance.

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intense week

Wow – it has been an intense week warped with an east coast visitation, family adventures and a very odd encounter with Jane Fonda. Also, i surprised myself at my lack of digital participation – i actually used a pen and paper to write down journal entries (that will turn digital shortly). Limited email, no phone… it’s been nice. Plus, i came back to adventures in trance dance land – Infected Mushroom style. Where we first began, we must rest upon return. In the meantime, i am filled with joy to be back in San Francisco, ever consistently more reminded of how much i adore this city.

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finding nemo

There’s nothing more charming that sitting in a rural moviehouse watching the brand new Pixar movie, Finding Nemo amidst crowds of kids, families, dates and other Americana. Of course, this quaint environment did not restrain my desire to sit and shout for my friends during the credits. As for Nemo itself… wow. I realized that i paid no attention to any of the CG, which is a good indication of how cleanly the film was done… one could simply get wrapped up in the wonderful story of familial love. I will always remember meeting Ed Catmull when i was 18 and him telling me that CG does not a movie make; the story is everything. He’s definitely proven his point.

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