Last summer, i purchased a radio with two alarms on it. It was the perfect solution because i figured that alarm one could go off with NPR and alarm two would start beeping fifteen minutes later. This would allow me to slowly wake up to voices and news and then force myself outta bed with the beeping. Somehow, this morning, alarm one went off without alarm two… or maybe i was too tired to notice alarm two or turned it off or something. But regardless, alarm one, the radio, went off.. for apparently 3 hours of me ignoring it.
The problem was that the discussion on the radio was about the conflict in the Middle East over the Gaza strip. Now, this is a very touchy subject in my world and since i haven’t had the time to adequately process it and create an educated opinion, i have a hard time taking full-on sides or otherwise opinionating on what is best. But i do know that i am not happy with what is going on and certainly not a fan of the violence or raping that is going on, by anyone, for any reason. For defense or any other excuse, rape as a systematic tactic of war is just not OK. Ever. (Hell, that’s the fight i’ve been fighting for a while.)
But anyhow, that was the conversation on NPR, always is these days… And somehow, i managed to incorporate it into my dreams. I got to work out all of these dreams about being in the midst of the situation, seeing the raping, feeling the fear and the hiding. And of course, it was impossible to tell which side was which, which side i was on. There was just chaos. And all of the soldiers that i would talk to thought it was just another party and they were going along for the ride, doing it cause they were told to (thank you Stanley Milgram). On the other hand, that’s my problem with protests and other mass-assembly activities – people come just to rebel and spit, regardless of the cause. And that’s what i was in the midst of in my dreams – extended violence in the Middle East just because that was what was expected. And sure, it was obvious that above all, there was a reason, but the people who were fighting it had lost track of that and were just using the built up venom to enjoy the raping and pillaging. Not a fun way to wake up. I think i need to get more informed about this situation. Fast.

i’m sitting at home for the first night in well over a week (well, last nite when i passed out doesn’t count). given, i’m working, but i’m still sitting at home. and becky brought over her mammoth CD player so i can actually put in more than one CD at a time and listen to them on quality speakers (although i do adore my boombox). but anyways..
when my car was broken into, i lost all of my CDs… well, all of my goa CDs. i was back to listening to Bad Religion and the like. which was fine, except that i really wanted to be listening to goa. and i bemoaned this fact out in public and this angel of angels who i’ve never met wrote me and said that he probably had a lot of what i lost and if i’d send him a reel of CDs, he’d replace my stolen items… so i sent him a list.
and blessed be, he not only sent me most of the CDs i lost, but some extra ones that he’s determined are essential for my collection. so here i am, sitting in my bedroom, listening to the CDs that i thought were a goner and learning what else needs to be purchased from psyshop since i’m a geek for owning my own CDs… (i swear that receiving copies of what are ‘essentials’ is the best way to promote me to spend an obscene amount of money on CDs, even if the silly music industry thinks the contrary.)
oh, i’m so ecstatic. mmm… currently listening to shpongle – my absolute favorite for the late-night calm happiness…

it’s been a *long* times since i’ve gone dancing! particularly given that i was going once a week for a while. in fact, i woke up this morning and had a hard time walking since i’ve been sitting for so many weeks. but i have a new goal. enough of my shit needs to be done so that i can go to the upcoming synthetic sadhus party.
why? raja ram. very simple. woah amazing. i’m super psyched to hear that it’s going to be at a venue that has an outdoor space, although i don’t know about this all-ages thing… i’ve gotten very particular lately… i can’t stand to see all of the kids in such bad wrecked stages. i end up feeling like a mother!

Ok… one should not think in semi-colons or Iterators, case statements or if/else clauses. Those should be reserved for .java files only, not mental processes or verbal communication. I did a demo. At the end of each statement/sentences, i found myself with a mental picture of a semi-colon. When i couldn’t continue, i couldn’t find the semi-colon and i would have to race through my “non-compiling” brain to figure out where the damn thing had gone. There were parentheses and too many were unmatched reaking major havoc on my mental state. I have been coding way too much lately.

i miss blogging.. so i’m going to come back.. this time, under a convenient new format…