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July 29, 2006

Blogher has begun

I feel like an alien at Blogher. It's *sooo* amazing to see so many women kicking ass. Since i've left V-Day, i'm rarely around so many women. At the same time, i'm faced with the challenge i always face when in a room full of women. I've definitely grown up in a boy's world, trying to out-boy the boys. I'm used to being aggressive to get my voice heard; i'm used to a language of critique, not compliments; i'm used to trying to take up space to be seen. Here, i just feel so awkward and out of place in a place that should feel comfortable. ::sigh::

The other thing that i've realized is that i'm not a "blogger" in the sense of the word that others here use. The women here have been so empowered by their blogging - they joined a movement, connected with people, built a community... They love the actual act of blogging, are excited to be bloggers as a primary identity. There's so much interest in getting an audience, in figuring out how to build a business from it, in figuring out how to attract ads. I blogged before there was blogging because i needed to get my internal neuroses out there. I'm still afraid of the fact that i have an audience and i'm certainly not trying to attract more people. I've resisted putting up ads because i don't want to make money off of my linguistic explosions (although paying my bandwidth costs would be nice); i don't want to feel responsible to my blog. I've become a blogger because people have assigned me that identity but even though i've been blogging forever, i'm not really a part of this movement. That makes me feel guilty - i'm given an identity that is more practice-driven than culturally driven... ::gulp::

The best part of being at Blogher is that i know that i have a lot to learn from these women. I've already had some amazing conversations and just now a woman from Eggbeater is talking about how food blogging is super political because food is about class, race and culture. ::jaw drop:: Wow - that rocks!

Category: blogging

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Posted by zephoria at July 29, 2006 10:30 AM | TrackBack

Comments (7)

Ariel:

I am going to find you at some pont today! You're one of the bloghers who I came down here to see.

Posted by Ariel | July 29, 2006 11:56 AM

Posted on July 29, 2006 11:56

Anon:

i stumbled upon your January 2000 posts about depression and borderline personality disorder and wow...you seem to have come a long way

Posted by Anon | July 30, 2006 9:09 AM

Posted on July 30, 2006 09:09

Phc:

Funny, I left feeling the same way. Sort of disconnected to the whole thing. It was weird.

I noticed you wore those arm-warmers. If I was hip enough to do so, I would wear babylegs (www.babylegs.net). Instead, I put them on my baby. But YOU? You are totally cool enough to wear them on your arms.

Posted by Phc | July 30, 2006 10:29 PM

Posted on July 30, 2006 22:29

JM:

I am still trying to process how I felt about the whole thing, but I believe it will be along the lines of everything you've said in this post -- even down to the eggbeater reference, for her comment was outstanding and I regret not saying so to her in person.

Posted by JM | July 31, 2006 3:03 PM

Posted on July 31, 2006 15:03

shuna fish lydon:

Thank you for the good words. I had no idea my words would strike so many chords.

I have not yet been able to write about my day at the conference, as I want to dedicate more of myself to its coverage than I have access to at the moment. But I hope to be able to hold onto the inspiration and questons it produced.

hope to see you around eggbeater one day.

Posted by shuna fish lydon | August 1, 2006 8:43 PM

Posted on August 1, 2006 20:43

ekd:

OH MY GOSH... where have you been all my life. You have an amazing breadth of knowlege and interests, views and comments on so many things. Will you autograph my forehead?

I overheard you say you don't like this but, "...and you're pretty too!"

I really enjoyed hearing you speak at the Outreach blogging and the Deeply Geeky sessions.

Posted by ekd | August 3, 2006 3:16 PM

Posted on August 3, 2006 15:16

amy.leblanc:

the reasons you expressed here about why you felt uncomfortable are the reasons i didn't attend. i'm not intersted in making a career out of blogging, corporatizing my blog, or identifying as a blogger. i blog because i type faster than i write, and it was a natural progression from my paper-journaling. and, my mom likes it because now that i live several thousand miles from her, she can still keep tabs on me. when i moved away from where i grew up, blogging was away to stay connected, and still is. as for audience...i enjoy my readers as long as they're nice. ;)

Posted by amy.leblanc | August 9, 2006 1:07 PM

Posted on August 9, 2006 13:07

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