Monthly Archives: August 2002

ok.. some updates

Travelling is not very good for blogging or reading email or doing anything typically productive. Thus, as per usual, i’ve been doing minimal online time (although it does take me at least an hour every time to get through my email… ::sigh::)

Traveling has been most wonderful in that personal breathing kind of way. It’s a nice little reminder of everything that is out there, of how i don’t need to always be so loud, of how to sit back and just watch a few things go by. I’ve enjoyed it. Fusion and the absurdity was a quiet little reminder of how difficult underground culture is. So many people are so angry as a result of it; i just feel pity for the organizers cause i know how hard it is to get that shit together… and i know that they did what they thought they were supposed to do. That’s always a challenge.

San Francisco is San Francisco. It’s great to be back though and this time i’m trying to look at it with that critical eye of where i want to live. I know that i need sun which basically means either the Mission or out in Berkeley… i just don’t think i could deal with the greyness all of the time. But watching my friends search for housing does not look like fun. 🙁 Too bad. Seeing friends is both fantabulous and exhausting. I’m just not in a place where i can deal with a lot of emotional strife – i’ve been too engrossed in my own and i’m trying to come out of it. I just don’t have the energy to think on that level, not because i don’t want to but because i’m so precariously surviving as it is. The last few months in Boston tore me apart in way too many ways, both on a work and a personal level, leaving me angry and bitter and horrified at the magnitude in which people could be inconsiderate. And for the first time in my life, i didn’t want to talk about it, to anyone. I spoke briefly with a few closest friends on the days that i felt buried, on the days that i wasn’t sure if i could get out of bed. Basic survival. But since then, i haven’t wanted to speak to anyone. I realized how powerful communication is, how important it is, what happens when it is broken. But i also realized that there is no reason to burden outsiders with the communicative incompetencies of my own life. I guess it’s a part of growing up – turning inwards. But to do so, i can’t deal with others, which makes me feel guilty.

That said, it is good to see people. My dearly beloveds. Talking, cookies, hottubbing at Frogs with massages, all of the precious things that make San Francisco so magical in my head. But i’m also aware of the daily stresses of everyone around me. It makes me really wonder if i shouldn’t just go to Hawaii for a while before coming out here. Self time. Sanity time. Yoga and breathing, inwards looking, spirituality, the whole nine yards. Hell, i can’t even really breathe in this city right now, emeshed in people’s chaos. ::sigh:: On the other hand, it is Burning Man time and this city lights up like a schizophrenic octopus on fire, balancing the world, slippery arms not properly grasping the different responsibilities so that emotions come crashing down, seeping from the different dangling goodies.

Ah Burning Man… next week… I too have been preparing, but in a typical way. Silver and pink. Two more pink hats, a set of pink cowboy boots, silver body paint. I keep thinking i may go outside of my norm, but i really just want to be comfortable, low key but still me… besides, there’s still pink and dude, the pink cowboy boots are *HOTT*… i’ve been eyeing them for over a year now… mm.. mm.. mmm…

And now.. i must work.. because life continues to be a balance.

arrived in san francisco

Woweeee… So i’ve been on the road for quite some time and am now sitting in a little cafe in San Francisco. Catie, Steph and i drove all around the funny country – through Iowa (which is not spelled O-H-I-O as the sign said) and Nebraska, Colorado, Wyoming, Utah…. Utah was way pretty.. way way pretty… we spent quite a bit of time there, probably a bit too much as we realized at 2PM on Thursday in Arches that we had 24 hours to rush to northern California for Fusion… which we did…. in one large rushed journey. But everything was very silly (including the sketchy truck stop where Steph got a nice little note from a trucker “I’ll pay you real good” slipped under her shower room).

Fusion was a bit chaotic. We got stopped in the local town because we “looked like ravers” but we played clueless when the sheriff kept telling us it was cancelled. So we drove up the mountain (more really bad roads.. location changed.. good thing we had the truck…) and ran into more cops who told us to turn around. We ignored them. Got to the top and sure enough there was chaos. Although it was on private, native territory, the permits that the organizers had acquired were not considered good enough for a rave. Hrmfpt. We weren’t a rave. But alas.. they declared us as such and we had to seek new permits… Music didn’t happen the first nite, large numbers of road blocks and other chaos… Mean sheriffs… Angry sheriffs… Crazy cool people – the best type – west coast hippie psy kids… So we chilled relaxed and waited. And then i offered my funny satellite phone and they started calling lawyers… and then a little piece of legal paperwork was drafted and Fusion Festival was cancelled and we were marched off the land. And then a church was created, we all joined the church by signing our names, marched back on the land and viola! music!!!! Oh, it was ridiculous.. in a good adventurous kind of way.. hte best kind. And there was crazy dancing. And there were crazy people and water holes and a beautiful campsite and everythign wonderful.

And oh drats.. my card at the internet cafe is running out…


We’re in Iowa… There was another change in cars and now we have a very big truck. Tehehehehe. We’re doing quite well – ridiculous in fact… we’re still stunned by the new car, which is awefully big and lets us put things on the roof. Mmm.. Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, here we go!!! Sleepy.. more shortly…

fabulous spam signature

[From a friend at lab]
Subject: Moralistic bleetings of a SPAM agency…

In the disclaimer section of some spam I just received:

We are dedicated to saving the global economy by helping small companies
with cost effective advertising. If you attempt to stop bulk email, you
are damaging the economy and threatening our children’s future.

new florida adoption law destroys privacy of birth mothers

A new Florida law requires women who want to give their unborn up for adoption to publish their sexual histories in the local newspapers of the town in which the child was conceived.

“When women come into my office and find their whole lives have to be exposed in the newspaper, they are like, ‘Forget it.’ They can abort without consent, but they can’t give the child an opportunity to live without humiliating themselves.”

those damn crush sites

I always thought it was a bit odd that people sent me crush notes to the address that i use for my websites. I mean, anyone who has a crush on me probably knows me well enough to know one of my “real” email addresses, right? Well, truth be told, it appears as though there’s a bit of harvesting going on by those silly crush companies… I guess my procmailing those to the spam folder was a bit more accurate than i first believed!