some days, i genuinely wish i could just buy into that blind faith thing.. have blind faith in something, anything. and not just a substance, not something temporary. i want long term blind faith. i want a purpose in life. a religion maybe. i wanna wake up blissfully ignorant and go about my life in pursuit of the higher purpose. maybe blind faith in the idea that capitalism is good for all humans. or that God is the purpose to life. why can’t i just have some blind faith please? and it doesn’t come in a tab or a pill, nor in weekly therapy visits or avoidance. i think too much. i am my own disease.

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