i think something is rather wrong with my body. ok, i know that i am a bit of a hypochondriac but still.. i just don’t think things are quite right.
i remember when i used to pass out for no good reason in the 6/7/8th grades. or when i just started puking uncontrollably in the middle of math class junior year in college and after a day and a half of tests in the hospital, they had no idea what could be causing it. or college in general. i always wrote that off to abuse of my body (in terms of intake, sleep and stress).
but then there was grad school. i remember being so sick in the spring, and after tons of prodding, i broke down and went to the medical center and they had no idea.. tons of possibilities but no concrete ideas. although i slept 8-10 hours a nite for a year, i participated in economic anorexia (whereby i stopped eating when i didn’t have money even though i would charge books to my credit card). now, my eating habits are not much better now, but they are better. i really am not stressed and i not only sleep 8 hours a nite, but i sleep the “right” 8 hours.. i am exercising and relaxing in large doses. so why the hell do i still feel like shit?
i have moved beyond the feeling that my body just needs time to adjust because it just should have adjusted by now. why does it not like me? and why oh why do i just feel aweful so frequently? uggh.. i am still waiting for that full body transplant.