Monthly Archives: February 2001

well, let’s see how emotional i can get. i hate my hormones on days like this, despise them for all of their femininity. i should have known it was going to be a bad day emotionally. i woke up, turned on CNN like an addict and started crying because a man from North Korea was seeing his mom from South Korea for the first time in 40 years. i should have known.

so i went to the lab, determined not to cry in frustration in my math class (and i succeeded). but halfway through class, i made the (poor) decision to check email. a note from the school’s medical service telling me that the school insurance will not support me to see the doctors that i want to see for my neck. so i started crying. they want me to see in-house neurosurgeons. and so the frustration continues and i cried and cried and cried. sadly, i am starting to realize the the most sense may be to take a break from school and deal with this. i am barely functional at school, suddenly misdirected, in bad physical shape and in a lot of pain. i have no insurance that will cover me and no money to feel comfortable along the edges. maybe its time to go make some money and come back. frustrating.

so i broke my rules, went home, made food & watched movies and played around being stupid. it was highly entertaining… but the reality is that i am avoiding and i know it..


I wonder if i am a mutant. Computers react atrociously to me, as though i give off some energy that makes them crash and puke. No one can ever hear me on the phone, even though they can hear anyone else on my phone. I think i give off weird vibes.

Well, i just got back from New York – Madison Square Garden VDAY event. Wow.

Daytime: Stop Rape contest. 60 contestants from 50 countries explaining how they think they can end rape in their various locations. Moving and powerful. But i had to busy myself so i ran around all day preparing for the evening event, organizing folks in my typical fashion.

Nitetime: Mom came.. with her Republican boyfriend. Made me so happy to see her, to sit near her, to have her support me like this. My aunt was there too. So amazing. I just cried and cried and cried.. so powerful watching Oprah Winfrey talk about life under the burqa and then have an exiled woman from Afghanistan get up and unveil herself. And then the women who were victims of FGM and a 14 year old girl who had run away to avoid the knife get up and cry and tell their stories. Or a 13 year old woman from Kenya winning the Stop Rape contest. Calista Flockhart doing a piece on short skirts and Claire Danes and Julia Stiles made Bosnia so unbelievable. Basically, it was truly awe-some.