ok.. more absurd events in my life. all because earlier this evening, i was whining about my back/neck/hands and everything else that has stopped functioning properly.

we – R, H and R’s friend spent the day in restaurants playing Cosmic Encounter and laughing hysterically. R & his friend have known each other for 21 years and are a bloody riot together, knocking on everything; H & i couldn’t stop laughing for the life of us. we got lost in Boston, looking for a really cool cafe that has since shut down – we were very sad about this. finally, we ended up in finagle a bagle at park street. tehehe.. stayed there till they kicked us out.

back at my place, R decides that we should go hottubbing – i laugh at him, reminding him he is on the east coast now.. he putzes around, calls a bunch of different places and finds an open hot tub place in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. so we head off to the lovely state of New Hampshire. R books the tub until the place closes, which shocks the lady at the desk who says that she doesn’t know anyone who has ever stayed longer than 2 hours.. R said she doesn’t know him yet.. he’s the 6/7/8 hour type. we talk, lounge, listen to music, play scrabble. i got a massage that put me into glory heaven state. what an ecstasy nite without the drugs. fabulous conversations.. i spent most of the nite listening to R&H get to know one another and, as i predicted, they got along fabulously, babbling away about relationships and ideas for the future.. typical H happily directing R into emotional talk and i was impressed in the amount she got out of him.. it was precious. my silly friends.

everyone keeps asking me about boy. and i don’t know entirely how to respond. add that to the fact that i am in such a fucked up state right now. body very upset forcing sex drive to approach null & void. all together get emotions all fucked up making me just a pissy little thing. i think R is about to kill me over it. i am unmotivated to work, to think, to deal. i don’t want to talk to people and have been in the habit of not responding to personal emails & phone calls.. i have avoided my date from last week and by now, i am guessing she thinks i am a freak; although she may also think i am out of town since i told her i was going to portland this week. i am just not in the mood to deal and i am not quite sure how to handle that appropriately. the total emotion can be summed up to “blah.”