what a strange and funny nite… so i went out with some women-loving friends of my san francisco friends. i say women-loving because neither identifies completely as a lesbian and one is particularly waffling between straight and bisexual. still, quite fun.. went to an all women’s space where there were guys there but all the same, it was quite fun and humorous. some gorgeous women were there and i was definitely oogling one! plus, all different types of people which was super cool. has a grand time at the party, just watching and observing, remembering all that i had forgotten…
like lesbian drama – club-based, who is ex-girfriends of who and therefore cannot talk to new ex-girlfriend’s best friend of whoever.. egads!
like the fact that lesbians can take pride a bit too far.. so, you aren’t GAY???? then why the fuck are you here?
like the reality that not everywhere in the world is appreciative of the culture that i come from that i am.. i like education, i value it. i don’t ask someone if they are smart… some of it is just “normal” or doesn’t matter.. but i guess it does to some.. makes me realize another privilege.
like my observation that the bay area should be a sci-fi novel. anger management classes for those who are reckless drivers? photographing cars going through red-lights and then sending tickets in the bulk? a pacific bell stadium? $20 covers on a regular friday night? billboards with statements like “paper is passe; online flyers” (and no one blinks at that)??
that people put true importance in metaphysics symbols as determinents for dating and for friends?
that combinations of vitamins can cause great highs…
i idealize too much.. and i think that things that i recognize in other people are because i recognize them in myself.. and therefore i wonder what i don’t see in myself, what others can teach me and show me. there is so much out there that i don’t understand or don’t know about.. how can i get at it?
and why is every element of my body constantly rotating who is tingling and numb? that is disconcerting…
