i fear that i am losing paitence with my family… and i don’t think that this is a good thing. i don’t really want to be losing patience with them because i do absolutely adore my family… in theory.

or maybe it is just that my mind is spinning on other things, disconnected and confused. but every little thing drives me insane. like the fact that my grandma never really hears what i am saying. or that my grandpa loves to show the same slides over and over and over again. or that my mother has to always have something to worry about, often at the expense of my sanity.. the little things drive me insane. and yet, i love them.

or is this the story of every family? i mean, if life is truly based on tv, i would vote that every family drives everyone in the family genuinely insane. and they bitch and scream on tv.. but that is a bad idea in reality. instead, i find myself being demure and chill as my mother once again asks how much weight i have gained (bam! to the self-esteem mind you). i walk away from the situation exhasted with my esteem frustrated and feeling guilty about the entire situation…

but i still love them…

maybe its true.. maybe the people who drive you insane the most are also the people you love the most.. and it al boils down to family!