i am overly dependent. i have known this for years but still tend to avoid it, as though it does not really exist… but i can feel it within me, every time i am alone. i thrive on dependence, it makes me feel whole, and yet it also makes me feel terrible.

is dependences a bad thing? others always say it is but i am not quite sure. having a relationship with another person, especially a symbiotic relationship teaches you about yourself and another person, how to give up what isn’t important and hold on to the things that matter. i don’t like being a parasite (or a barnacle as my lover calls me). i prefer when the other person has a dependence on me as well.. i want that cooperation in a relationship. without it, i feel lonely.. i need to be needed and i need to need… is that abnormal?