by Ryokan:

ura o mise, omote o misete, chiru momiji
(showing front, showing back, falling maple leaf)

what makes the vision of the maple leaf so special as it gently falls from the maple tree, it shows both its bad side as well as its good. what this means for the person who follows zen is that in our lives, i should reveal both sides of our personality rather than just exibiting our positive side and neglecting that of which we disapprove. if my body is not “beautiful”, it does not matter. it is part of who i am.

this makes 100% sense to me, but i do not know how to implement it. i know that some people believe they see my negative side (they yell at me for it) but how can i show it? what does it mean to show it? no, i don’t wear makeup or try to hide my body or my physical appearance. i buzzed my hair, knowing it would make me “ugly” by many people’s standards. i also knew that it would free me of the need to look beautiful. and it did. and it angered many people, especially my mother. she felt that my making myself ugly hindered my relationships with people and made me stand out as a freak. this angered me and we had major frustrations about this.

why is beauty so important to people? or is it just americans?

shoe’s thought: beauty is what we see without effort so we rely on that as our impression of people. getting to know someone takes effort (and thus time and frustration). possibly, this is also due to our desire for instant gratification. we want to know things fast and beauty (or lack of) can be quickly viewed.

back to my thoughts: shoe is right. we enjoy judging and labeling people.. but that is a thought for another time…