As i was walking down 16th to go home, i realized i was in deep shit. The crowds began at Mission and were getting thicker and thicker as i headed towards the Castro. By the time i reached my apartment, i was hyperventilating, surrounded by a solid wall of drunken, costumed people who were clearly not from my neighborhood (and i doubt from my city). They were loud, aggressive and generally unpleasant. They had no respect for my street or my desire to sleep. So i sat huddled in a ball with my kitten cat watching all of the funny people from my second floor perch.

I should note that while i love crowded indoor events, crowded outdoor ones terrify me. Full on claustrophobia. If i can leave a crowded situation, i can be in a crowded situation. But not when i look down from my window and see non-stop mob. Eek.

All of the crazy humans were using my dead-end street as a porta potty. They were pissing everywhere, all over my steps and my stoop. I must’ve watched 200 guys piss on my street. And then my neighbors came up with the most hysterical plan. They got a big bucket and poured it from the second story onto the next guy pissing on their steps. He was sopping and really pissed off. I was laughing hysterically.