Postal Service Mocks Gmail

This evening, my roommate wrote a mock USPS launch announcement to highlight why Gmail might seem foreign to those who view their email as a metaphor for the real thing:

The United States Postal Service has announced the launch of an automated service that ensures its customers receive advertising material directly related to their interests. No more junk mail!

Now the advertisements you receive free each day — courtesy of the trusted USPS — will be automatically selected to match keywords found in your correspondences. And it’s all privacy-friendly!

Newly installed robots will open every letter handled by the USPS, read its contents, reseal the envelope, and send the recipient — free of charge — third-party material describing goods and services directly related to the scanned content of the letter.

…(cont’d)