well, let’s see how emotional i can get. i hate my hormones on days like this, despise them for all of their femininity. i should have known it was going to be a bad day emotionally. i woke up, turned on CNN like an addict and started crying because a man from North Korea was seeing his mom from South Korea for the first time in 40 years. i should have known.

so i went to the lab, determined not to cry in frustration in my math class (and i succeeded). but halfway through class, i made the (poor) decision to check email. a note from the school’s medical service telling me that the school insurance will not support me to see the doctors that i want to see for my neck. so i started crying. they want me to see in-house neurosurgeons. and so the frustration continues and i cried and cried and cried. sadly, i am starting to realize the the most sense may be to take a break from school and deal with this. i am barely functional at school, suddenly misdirected, in bad physical shape and in a lot of pain. i have no insurance that will cover me and no money to feel comfortable along the edges. maybe its time to go make some money and come back. frustrating.

so i broke my rules, went home, made food & watched movies and played around being stupid. it was highly entertaining… but the reality is that i am avoiding and i know it..