back on a plane, this time at the end of burning man. what an experience, for reasons that i could barely explain, but i will try to capture an ounce of what i felt in order to have that glimpse of memory as i look back on this wonderful event…

we left san francisco on thursday, but stopped in a motel for a good nite’s sleep before finishing the trip. we were too exhausted. i learned some basic yoga (which was mighty fun). the car trip was silly… we were caravaning and i got to spend time with both my lover and the cutey boy that i have been spending time with. i also managed to play my cartrick which excited both of them (although got interupted the second time). the boy had a friend with him who was pretty damn cool and i enjoyed trying to get to know him. at one point, i decided to do a striptease from jon’s convertible (the other car was behind us) and that amused everyone…

from a distance, the camp seemed damn small and i was afraid i was going to be disappointed… but i wasn’t… it was the desert and size was skewed. there were welcoming committees and people were just generally kind and excited to see you… we aimed for where we thought that the camp should be, but failed to find it. we sent out general search parties, trying to learn where it should be but it never happened. at one point, our friend who came in via plane stumbled upon us and the two of us went and found the appropriate campsite, just before sundown… we quickly unpacked everything, put up the tents and met all of these people, all friends of the boy that my lover and i had come with. they were quite chill and slowly warmed up to us in a big way. it was so nice to meet new cool people! we ate a bit of dinner and all hung out for a while…

i don’t know what was up with me but i was acting awefully. i can’t really come up with good excuses so i won’t bother but i was acting like a spoiled brat and could barely stand it myself, but wasn’t in the mood to deal. the boy noticed. thankfully, he decided to say something to me cause he was very annoyed… and it made me realize how aweful i had been acting, more so than my own realizations of laziness and brattiness. suddenly, something that my mother had told me for years popped out – one day you will lose friends for being so selfish… i never believed her but all of a sudden i had this feeling of awefulness. this put me in a state of quite unhappiness, and he was already in that state… we all decided to wander separately and did so…

i must have seen some various tents that nite but i don’t remember many of them… i wandered around the man, into some of the art exhibits and up to some of the lighted events… but i was cold. thus, i plopped myself down at a campfire and proceeded to make friends with the guys right around me, a bunch of boys with strong strong accents from ireland. it was intense. i could barely comprehend their language. all of their idioms were different and their jokes confused me… as a result, i was intrigued. i don’t know who they were but they had a shitload of money. they were all living in san francisco, probably about my age, and had enough drugs to kill a fleet of camels. my gut was to say that they were singers for a living because they kept breaking into song and their voices were UNBELIEVABLE. anyhow, they smoked me up some and then offered me a happy pill. it was a nice feeling… we ended up wandering some, seeing different things, different fires, etc… it was nice to chill with random people but i was missing my lover desperately and still felt terrible about the situation with the boy.

i headed back to camp but noone was there. i was still freezing so i tucked myself into a sleeping bag. shortly later, the guys came back and we started talking…. i told the boy what was going through my head and he seemed genuinely thankful. anyhow, i was fuzzy and warm and somehow sexy… fun happened.

i woke the next morning to intense heat. i crawled out of the tent and chilled with the people in my campground. what beautiful people!! they were all much older than me… the camp was: 21,22,28,6x(31-34),38. i was the baby but it didn’t matter… everyone was wonderful to me. my lover’s friend from work appeared and decided to camp out with us.. she is super cool, as is her friend. we all dressed up in our gear (me in silver paint, bunny ears, a magic wand and wings) and started to wander… people took picture after picture of me which was CRAZY! the artwork that people did was majestical! everything made me feel so tremendous. i can barely explain it… i highly encourage the reader to check out the burning man website in order to see some of what was at this event, artwise… it is just not explainable except to say that it is beautiful!!!

somehow, during the day, people taught me how to play “go” and we hung out at our campsite… we also toured tactile exhibits and sat as the wind flowed through our hair… we watched a battle of people on swings and watched the boy give away elements of his scroll (he was wrapped like a mummy with bits of scroll)… it was just fabulous!!! i also got to try ghb which was quite interesting and chill

i loved being naked and only got dressed for coldness!!!!!

as the nite began, we all decided that pills were in order and prepared for the actual burn. the burn is where they do a bunch of ritualistic events and then an older woman (from the beginning) goes and ceremonially lights the man on fire… as we proceeded to the event, we all started cuddling with one another. so many of the group was trying this beauty for the first time and was ecstatic about the feelings they got… we touched and cuddled, loved and kissed.. my lover got picked up by a girl and the flirting was intense. we fought with the crowd over whether to stand up or sit down and did both at times. finally, promenading began and things started going up in flames. there were fireworks and firedancers. but things didn’t go exactly right. about 40 minutes ahead of time, the throat of the man caught fire and went up in flames (his base is supposed to start). the fireworks (which were to be last) came out and the magnesium never really caught fire. an arm fell off so they couldn’t raise th arms. the procession never made it to the man and the balls surrounding the area went off late. it was strange, but i had no complaints.. i still thought it was cool. the people rushed the man and the fire folk had to make certain that noone was too close to the fires that were happening, particularly the elements that hadn’t fallen yet. still, i loved it. unfortunately, when everyone rushed the man, we lost part of our party and thus people were bummed… it was sad but everyone was fine, just not with us. we proceeded to various other things, got to watch a person interact with a tesla coil (wow!!!) and went to a chill space. a couple of folk decided it was mushroom time and i decided that bed was a better answer so my lover and i wandered off to cuddle… he was super tired from a full day. teheh.

in the middle of the nite, the boy came back, all excited about his trip and in a foggy state, i listened to his exciting stories. i don’t know exactly how what happened, but i ended up dozing back to sleep.

i woke to more intense heat, hotter than the day before. but that did not stop the three of us from having another go at it and me from getting broken… more chilling with the group and then eventual wandering to see various sites. i was still naked!!! i was just ecstatic to talk to fabulous people and did so quite willingly.

my lover and i decided that we wanted to spend some time together so we wanted to leave relatively early. we finally managed to get everything together by around 5/6pm.. much later than we wanted… unfortunately, we didn’t get out of the parking lot until 8pm and didn’t arrive back at home until after 4am.. 🙁 the ride was fun, even with this shit. the friend that came via plane joined us in the ride back and the three of us amused each other with stories, sex talk and deliriousness. plus, i got to eat at denny’s!!!

finally, we got home and i took a long awaited shower and fell into bed. four hours later, i was awoken and pushed onto a plane, where i currently sit. tomorrow classes start and i am not prepared, but the intensity and beauty of burning man makes up for any nervous feelings i have. i am so glad that i decided to go and so sorry that i cannot express the emotional element of what i experienced…

things to bring next year:

chapstick with uv (lots)
blowup mattress
camel water pack
full goggles (for the wind)
kiddie pool and sponges

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