my efforts are noticeable. so, he and i had a fight this weekend. well, fight is an odd way of saying it.. lets say disagreement. so, he has been concerned that the fact that i am the only person that he has been with is bothering him and that we are too serious. although i do not feel that way, i understood his concerns and offered that i would not be disturbed if he wanted to see other people. he said that he was not certain but was worried about us being so serious, almost married and that it would mess us up in the future. i told him that i was not going to cage him but i could not guarentee that i would always be around when he came back.

i left and spent the nite at a friends and realized something there. although i love him dearly and do not want to lose him, i don’t think my world will tumble if he disappears. i am not nearly as attached to him as i once was. he is part of my heart and soul and current happiness but losing him will not ruin me.

that was an interesting realization…