why do i feel so overwhelmed by my life when, at the same time, i feel as though i am getting nothing done, have no direction or focus? i feel as though i spend so much time dealing that i don’t have any time to do anything. i have too many beloved friends, too strong a community and thus not enough time to manage that and get work done and start a life in Boston. plus, to make matters worse, the only new person that i have met since i moved to Boston doesn’t even fucking live here, adding to my collection of long distance, hard to maintain, impossible to manage friends. and i have no one to be at home when i break down and crumple. it makes me feel so uncertain about what type of community i need versus what i have. and right now, all i want is to be left alone by all my friends so that i can focus in on work. easier said then done as now is the time when everyone has time and wants to spend it with me. and all i want is to figure out how to get my research going. i don’t want outside visitors to my life; i want friends that pop up at lunch and tear me away from my desk to eat since i have forgotten to do so for multiple days. i want friends who drag me to play pool so as to look at the cute untouchable dykes. i don’t want impossible relationships or having to arrange my life around other people’s needs.<\/p>\n
ok. so i am cranky. isn’t this the definition of january? this month, this year is going to go down as a month of utter physicaly pain and mental anguish. SAD gone extremely awry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
why do i feel so overwhelmed by my life when, at the same time, i feel as though i am getting nothing done, have no direction or focus? i feel as though i spend so much time dealing that i don’t have any time to do anything. i have too many beloved friends, too strong […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-164","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/164","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=164"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/164\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=164"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=164"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=164"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}