Jonas has some great data on online dating.<\/a> (thanks Ado!)<\/p>\n
\nMEN’S ADS:<\/p>\n
40-ish……………………………….52 and looking for 25-yr-old
\nAthletic……………………………..Watches a lot of NASCAR
\nAverage looking………………….Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, &back
\nEducated…………………………..Will patronize the shit out of you
\nFree Spirit……….. ………………Banging your sister
\nFriendship first……………………As long as friendship involves nookie
\nFun…………………………………..Good with a remote and a six pack
\nGood looking……………………..Arrogant
\nVery good looking……………….Dumb as a board
\nHonest………………………………Pathological Liar
\nHuggable…………………………..Overweight, more body hair than a bear
\nLikes to cuddle……………………Insecure mama’s boy
\nMature………………………………Older than your father
\nOpen-minded…………………….Wants to sleep with your roommate but she’s not interested
\nPhysically fit……………………….Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
\nPoet………………………………….Wrote ex-girlfriend’s phone number on a bathroom stall
\nSensitive…………………………….Cries at chick flicks
\nVery sensitive……………………..Gay
\nSpiritual……………………………..Got laid in a cemetery once
\nStable……………………………….Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
\nThoughtful………………………….Says “Excuse me” when he farts<\/p>\n
WOMEN’S ADS:<\/p>\n
40-ish………………………………49
\nAdventurer………………………..Slept with all your friends
\nAthletic……………………………..No tits
\nAverage looking………………….Has a face like a basset hound
\nBeautiful…………………………….Pathological liar
\nContagious Smile…………………Does a lot of Ecstasy
\nEducated……………………………Banged her Political Science professor
\nEmotionally Secure………………Medicated
\nFeminist…………………………….Fat ball buster
\nFree spirit………………………….Junkie
\nFriendship first……………………Trying to live down reputation as a slut
\nFun…………………………………..Annoying
\nGentle……………………………….Comatose
\nGood Listener…………………….Borderline Autistic
\nNew-Age………………………….All body hair, all the time
\nOld-fashioned…………………….Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
\nOpen-minded…………………….Desperate
\nOutgoing……………………………Loud and Embarrassing
\nPassionate………………………….Sloppy drunk
\nPoet………………………………….Depressive Schizophrenic
\nProfessional………………………..Certified Bitch
\nRedhead…………………………….Bad dye-job
\nReubenesque………………………Grossly Fat
\nRomantic…………………………….Looks better by candle light
\nSocial…………………………………Has been passed around like an hors d’oeuvres tray
\nVoluptuous………………………….Very Fat
\nHeight\/weight proportional……..Hugely Fat
\nWants Soul mate…………………..Stalker
\nWidow……………………………….Drove first husband to shoot himself
\nYoung at heart. …………………Old bat<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
For one of my classes, we’re discussing online dating. This is particularly timely since i’m about to head off to Vienna to discuss the same topic at CHI. Instead of taking it too seriously, i’m glad that my class decided to find the humor. So i thought i’d share. First, tales of horror from the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1172","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1172","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1172"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1172\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1172"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1172"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.zephoria.org\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1172"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}