I’m a bit cranky today. I’m usually very happy to look at new social networks services and share my thoughts with site creators, but i’m *really* tired of having the same automatic grumbling reaction concerning one issue: the ordering of sex identifiers during sign-up.

If you’re going to alphabetize everything else in your sign-up, alphabetize sex. Male / Female is only a clear reminder of who you value in your system. I can deal with the abuse of the term gender, but c’mon now.. give me one good reason for not alphabetizing sex terms other than cultural sexism?

So, if you’re a website creator (or know of one), (let them) know that this practice is really insulting.

Companies currently making me cranky:

• Friendster
• Buddybridge
• ChiaFriend
• Everyone’s Connected (even defaults to male & straight! grrr)
• It’s Not What You Know
• Sona (Man/Woman on outside; Male/Female on inside)
• Ryze

Companies who get it:

• Tribe (even has a “prefer not to say option”)
• FriendSurfer
• Ringo

[Note: “Prefer not to say” is very appreciated in sites not dedicated to dating… Because what’s the importance of sex other than reminding the user that you’re selling their data to advertisers?]

Update: The worst abuse is MySpace which not only assumes male/female but in asking you who you are looking for, it inverts it to say woman/man. Very male-centric.

Nerve just put up a list of the top 50 unsexiest things, including:

Friendster.com. For a few months, it was a secret cute-kid sex party. Then all your exes heard about it. Then Courtney Love got on it. Then strangers started insisting you’d shared some magical experience with them outside Tuscaloosa. You told them you’d never been to Tuscaloosa and that they must have the wrong person. Then they told you your pet hamster’s name from when you were five and you started shaking.

In meeting people to date, the generic “you” is theoretically looking for one lifetime partner. S/he wants to be introduced to many candidates and feels little consequence if things don’t work out. Worst case scenario: two of them meet and call you a shit.

In meeting people for business purposes, you are motivated to connect with many people who provide you a diverse but meaningful social network. You have limited time to engage with people, so you must choose wisely and then slowly massage that relationship, particularly if the person you want to know cares little for you. The people you meet in business are often intertwined so you have to play nice from the getgo.

These are two totally different ways of operating your social network. Yet we think that the same architecture makes sense. Hmm.