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	<title>Comments for danah boyd | apophenia</title>
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	<description>making connections where none previously existed</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:10:26 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Comment on World Economic Forum: More than Meets the Eye by Helen Wolter</title>
		<link>http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2012/01/29/wef-davos.html/comment-page-1#comment-4151251</link>
		<dc:creator>Helen Wolter</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Feb 2012 07:10:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/?p=4446#comment-4151251</guid>
		<description>Thank you for your insights into this event.  Nice to hear about Davos from a non-journalistic point of view.  As the two other posters have commented, it is helpful to know what really does go on in Davos- the good and the bad.

Lastly, your estimates on the number of women attending are interesting to me, as women hold 16-17% of all representative seats in the US Congress- Senate and House.  (This was the figure prior to Rep. Giffords stepping down.) 

Thanks, again!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Thank you for your insights into this event.  Nice to hear about Davos from a non-journalistic point of view.  As the two other posters have commented, it is helpful to know what really does go on in Davos- the good and the bad.</p>
<p>Lastly, your estimates on the number of women attending are interesting to me, as women hold 16-17% of all representative seats in the US Congress- Senate and House.  (This was the figure prior to Rep. Giffords stepping down.) </p>
<p>Thanks, again!</p>
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		<title>Comment on We need to talk about piracy (but we must stop SOPA first) by Brian O' Hanlon</title>
		<link>http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2012/01/17/stop-sopa.html/comment-page-1#comment-4147146</link>
		<dc:creator>Brian O' Hanlon</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Feb 2012 23:19:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/?p=4386#comment-4147146</guid>
		<description>@ All, 

In reference, to my blog entry, on &#039;Walled Gardens&#039;. I received this recommendation, from one of my usual sources of computer technical advice this week: 

&quot;Most companies who run these locked in [Adobe ID, Microsoft Store ID, etc] systems will allow, if you get angry enough at cust-serv, you to transfer titles between accounts.&quot; 

I love this idea, of needing &#039;tech support&#039; to put your split-apart digital identities back together again. All the kings horses, and all the kings men, . . .</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>@ All, </p>
<p>In reference, to my blog entry, on &#8216;Walled Gardens&#8217;. I received this recommendation, from one of my usual sources of computer technical advice this week: </p>
<p>&#8220;Most companies who run these locked in [Adobe ID, Microsoft Store ID, etc] systems will allow, if you get angry enough at cust-serv, you to transfer titles between accounts.&#8221; </p>
<p>I love this idea, of needing &#8216;tech support&#8217; to put your split-apart digital identities back together again. All the kings horses, and all the kings men, . . .</p>
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		<title>Comment on World Economic Forum: More than Meets the Eye by Bonnie Sutton</title>
		<link>http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2012/01/29/wef-davos.html/comment-page-1#comment-4145351</link>
		<dc:creator>Bonnie Sutton</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Feb 2012 13:08:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/?p=4446#comment-4145351</guid>
		<description>I think it is important that people like Danah, be a part of the conversation. I ended up getting work in several countries ( Tunis, Jordan) and developed some friendships and an awareness of the differences in the world.

I probably needed a guide to the things going on. There was a powerful education push for the developing nations. But just as we have many ideas of what should go on in education, I guess ministries of education are pretty top down. The first ladies of several countries started an initiative that was then a part of the 
GAID.org , and we carried the conversation from Davos to
the UN to Monterrey , Mexico.  Talking about education and how it should be done is always complicated.

Thanks Danah for being there.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I think it is important that people like Danah, be a part of the conversation. I ended up getting work in several countries ( Tunis, Jordan) and developed some friendships and an awareness of the differences in the world.</p>
<p>I probably needed a guide to the things going on. There was a powerful education push for the developing nations. But just as we have many ideas of what should go on in education, I guess ministries of education are pretty top down. The first ladies of several countries started an initiative that was then a part of the<br />
GAID.org , and we carried the conversation from Davos to<br />
the UN to Monterrey , Mexico.  Talking about education and how it should be done is always complicated.</p>
<p>Thanks Danah for being there.</p>
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		<title>Comment on How Parents Normalized Teen Password Sharing by Surreptitious Evil</title>
		<link>http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2012/01/23/how-parents-normalized-teen-password-sharing.html/comment-page-1#comment-4145081</link>
		<dc:creator>Surreptitious Evil</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Feb 2012 10:48:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/?p=4416#comment-4145081</guid>
		<description>&lt;blockquote cite=&quot;Douglas Turner&quot;&gt;The equality you state is in fact an inequality. The potential consequences of sharing a facebook password over sharing a locker combination are complete different in severity — to claim equality merely shows a lack of understanding.&lt;/blockquote&gt;

Oh, I don&#039;t know. What if Danah&#039;s friend had put the booze in Danah&#039;s locker. Or somebody put a gun in there? There are plenty of evil consequences on both sharing types. 

I would also suggest that sharing electronic space is less likely to result in disaster than sharing physical space - embarrassment, definitely, disaster? I certainly hope that kids find it easier to get hold of booze than, say, child porn images. Or guns, although I appreciate this may not hold in all jurisdictions.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<blockquote cite="Douglas Turner"><p>The equality you state is in fact an inequality. The potential consequences of sharing a facebook password over sharing a locker combination are complete different in severity — to claim equality merely shows a lack of understanding.</p></blockquote>
<p>Oh, I don&#8217;t know. What if Danah&#8217;s friend had put the booze in Danah&#8217;s locker. Or somebody put a gun in there? There are plenty of evil consequences on both sharing types. </p>
<p>I would also suggest that sharing electronic space is less likely to result in disaster than sharing physical space &#8211; embarrassment, definitely, disaster? I certainly hope that kids find it easier to get hold of booze than, say, child porn images. Or guns, although I appreciate this may not hold in all jurisdictions.</p>
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		<title>Comment on How Parents Normalized Teen Password Sharing by Tim Haugen</title>
		<link>http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2012/01/23/how-parents-normalized-teen-password-sharing.html/comment-page-1#comment-4138981</link>
		<dc:creator>Tim Haugen</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Feb 2012 12:05:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/?p=4416#comment-4138981</guid>
		<description>Hmm -- applying the analogy of passwords are like underwear (don&#039;t share, change often, keep private, don&#039;t leave lieing around, etc) -- I guess I would rather my teenage sons share a password than their underwear...

But the better point is the parents&#039; influence in essentially desensitizing teens to the importance of a password and protecting their privacy. I like the idea of the piggy bank to help distinguish the need or appropriateness for a parent to have access to the account of a minor for who they&#039;re responsible. 

Maybe Facebook (and similar services) should add a &quot;Delegate&quot; access, similar to some email systems. For example, my assistant can schedule a meeting on my behalf, but people can see that she scheduled it. I could also grant access for her to send email on my behalf, but again, it would indicate, &quot;Sent by: .....&quot; So - a Social Networking post or photo that indicates &quot;posted by: ... the significant other...&quot; would be an elevated level of &quot;trust&quot; without inappropriate exposure of privacy.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hmm &#8212; applying the analogy of passwords are like underwear (don&#8217;t share, change often, keep private, don&#8217;t leave lieing around, etc) &#8212; I guess I would rather my teenage sons share a password than their underwear&#8230;</p>
<p>But the better point is the parents&#8217; influence in essentially desensitizing teens to the importance of a password and protecting their privacy. I like the idea of the piggy bank to help distinguish the need or appropriateness for a parent to have access to the account of a minor for who they&#8217;re responsible. </p>
<p>Maybe Facebook (and similar services) should add a &#8220;Delegate&#8221; access, similar to some email systems. For example, my assistant can schedule a meeting on my behalf, but people can see that she scheduled it. I could also grant access for her to send email on my behalf, but again, it would indicate, &#8220;Sent by: &#8230;..&#8221; So &#8211; a Social Networking post or photo that indicates &#8220;posted by: &#8230; the significant other&#8230;&#8221; would be an elevated level of &#8220;trust&#8221; without inappropriate exposure of privacy.</p>
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		<title>Comment on Guilt Through Algorithmic Association by Jörg Schlüter</title>
		<link>http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2011/09/12/guilt-through-algorithmic-association.html/comment-page-1#comment-4132531</link>
		<dc:creator>Jörg Schlüter</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 31 Jan 2012 13:37:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/?p=3981#comment-4132531</guid>
		<description>I&#039;d like to add something related, for fairness: Many Google competitors are more in the established business of boxed software, but also that relies heavily on word of mouth advertising. Which again is powered by greedy computer magazines generally trying to blend e.g. people&#039;s fear of germs with computer viruses, or how to *always* get the cheapest price, resp. music/software piracy. That magazine-style can be at times quite racist on a subtle level, encouraging more control pressure in society (to the expense of minorities), or over the top supervision by parents. It has rarely been criticized.

The market seems to have a decades-old demand to follow predefined associations? Could a player survive without going with what the people talk about? And, to what degree does the respective company support the development of other approaches? What regards that, one has to give Google great credit for powering many nonprofit projects for free or very little, in their early stages where they can&#039;t afford much.

Would be a nice topic to further discuss. :)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;d like to add something related, for fairness: Many Google competitors are more in the established business of boxed software, but also that relies heavily on word of mouth advertising. Which again is powered by greedy computer magazines generally trying to blend e.g. people&#8217;s fear of germs with computer viruses, or how to *always* get the cheapest price, resp. music/software piracy. That magazine-style can be at times quite racist on a subtle level, encouraging more control pressure in society (to the expense of minorities), or over the top supervision by parents. It has rarely been criticized.</p>
<p>The market seems to have a decades-old demand to follow predefined associations? Could a player survive without going with what the people talk about? And, to what degree does the respective company support the development of other approaches? What regards that, one has to give Google great credit for powering many nonprofit projects for free or very little, in their early stages where they can&#8217;t afford much.</p>
<p>Would be a nice topic to further discuss. <img src='http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
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		<title>Comment on We need to talk about piracy (but we must stop SOPA first) by Brian O' Hanlon</title>
		<link>http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2012/01/17/stop-sopa.html/comment-page-1#comment-4129861</link>
		<dc:creator>Brian O' Hanlon</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Jan 2012 21:52:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/?p=4386#comment-4129861</guid>
		<description>Executive summary: The main trust of what I was trying to, is that Danah sometimes talks about the deletion of on line identities, and extinction of personal spaces - but what I find even more annoying to me, is the opposite trend - that where, numerous identities and creations of on line spaces, which seemingly belong to me, are being made, without I even knowing.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Executive summary: The main trust of what I was trying to, is that Danah sometimes talks about the deletion of on line identities, and extinction of personal spaces &#8211; but what I find even more annoying to me, is the opposite trend &#8211; that where, numerous identities and creations of on line spaces, which seemingly belong to me, are being made, without I even knowing.</p>
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		<title>Comment on We need to talk about piracy (but we must stop SOPA first) by Brian O' Hanlon</title>
		<link>http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2012/01/17/stop-sopa.html/comment-page-1#comment-4129831</link>
		<dc:creator>Brian O' Hanlon</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Jan 2012 21:43:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/?p=4386#comment-4129831</guid>
		<description>Walled Garden

Did anyone here ever suffer the embarrassment of authorising your ebooks, to two different Adobe ID&#039;s? 

I can&#039;t believe, that I managed to do this. I searched all over my email inbox&#039;s for something from Adobe, to say, I had an exist Adobe ID - and could find nothing. So I created one yesterday afternoon to authorise a new downloaded eBook. But it turns out now, that my existing collection of eBooks, which were on an older laptop system, were all authorised to a previous Adobe ID, which Adobe themselves had never emailed me about, to inform me that I had it! 

Big hint - it&#039;s one thing to shoot yourself in the foot for your own stuff - but I would hate to suffer the embarrassment, of telling an important client of mine, I had done this to his purchased eBook collection! People have so many different digital reader devices now, that chances are, if they already have an eBook or two, they already have an Adobe ID. It would surely make live easier though, if Adobe would generate the odd response email, to the purchaser, to remind them. 

It&#039;s really awesome how well connected are the &#039;user-specific&#039; flash advertisments with google search and You Tube. I was shopping on line for a comb binding machine - a real nuts and bolts, physical piece of old world hardware - to bind my A4 reports. Then I visited one of my favourite YouTube channels this minute, and I noticed the flash advertisement in YouTube was selling me one of the same comb binding machines, I was shopping for on line, over the weekend. I guess, my major hang up at the moment, is the fact, that when I need to purchase a license for various items of software from Adobe, Microsoft etc, and what annoys me in a major way, is you have to track back and recall the Microsoft Store ID, or the Adobe ID - in order to take up where you left off, in buying your software online. 

I have described briefly the &#039;linking up&#039; that Google Inc., can do between its Google Images search, and the YouTube channels I watch, and the ads present for a vendor called Euro Office. It&#039;s sort of the same thing with Microsoft Store. They want to keep you inside some kind of &#039;walled garden&#039; all of the time. When I purchased a full license for a Microsoft ware, in 2010, I had to create some kind of Microsoft Store ID, which I had forgotten I had. The rule that Microsoft have, is that your Microsoft Store ID, ties up to you Windows Live login. It so happens that the e-mail service at my college, Limerick Institute of Technology, is hosted by Microsoft, in some kind of LIT student hotmail web client. 

It followed, that when I purchased a full license for Microsoft wares - which had nothing at all to do with my university at Limerick in Ireland - and was purely for my own business usage, my Microsoft Store ID, I have now discovered is the same as my Limerick Institute of Technology student e-mail address! The worst thing about all of this effort by Adobe, Microsoft, Google and so on, to &#039;lock you in&#039; to some walled garden online space, is that when you proceed to buy something like an eBook at some time in the future, and do not synchronise it up with your original eBook authorisation Adobe ID - then you can&#039;t use two eBooks that you purchased at separate times, from the same book publisher, on the same computer system, because they are authorised to two different Adobe ID&#039;s! This has happened to me recently also. 

The Limerick Institute of Technology e-mail address for my Microsoft Store ID, is the typical example. After a couple of years, when move away from that institution and no longer have access to that Windows Live ID! ! ! It&#039;s all very strange, very cloud-like, clever like, and not at all satisfactory in my humble opinion.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Walled Garden</p>
<p>Did anyone here ever suffer the embarrassment of authorising your ebooks, to two different Adobe ID&#8217;s? </p>
<p>I can&#8217;t believe, that I managed to do this. I searched all over my email inbox&#8217;s for something from Adobe, to say, I had an exist Adobe ID &#8211; and could find nothing. So I created one yesterday afternoon to authorise a new downloaded eBook. But it turns out now, that my existing collection of eBooks, which were on an older laptop system, were all authorised to a previous Adobe ID, which Adobe themselves had never emailed me about, to inform me that I had it! </p>
<p>Big hint &#8211; it&#8217;s one thing to shoot yourself in the foot for your own stuff &#8211; but I would hate to suffer the embarrassment, of telling an important client of mine, I had done this to his purchased eBook collection! People have so many different digital reader devices now, that chances are, if they already have an eBook or two, they already have an Adobe ID. It would surely make live easier though, if Adobe would generate the odd response email, to the purchaser, to remind them. </p>
<p>It&#8217;s really awesome how well connected are the &#8216;user-specific&#8217; flash advertisments with google search and You Tube. I was shopping on line for a comb binding machine &#8211; a real nuts and bolts, physical piece of old world hardware &#8211; to bind my A4 reports. Then I visited one of my favourite YouTube channels this minute, and I noticed the flash advertisement in YouTube was selling me one of the same comb binding machines, I was shopping for on line, over the weekend. I guess, my major hang up at the moment, is the fact, that when I need to purchase a license for various items of software from Adobe, Microsoft etc, and what annoys me in a major way, is you have to track back and recall the Microsoft Store ID, or the Adobe ID &#8211; in order to take up where you left off, in buying your software online. </p>
<p>I have described briefly the &#8216;linking up&#8217; that Google Inc., can do between its Google Images search, and the YouTube channels I watch, and the ads present for a vendor called Euro Office. It&#8217;s sort of the same thing with Microsoft Store. They want to keep you inside some kind of &#8216;walled garden&#8217; all of the time. When I purchased a full license for a Microsoft ware, in 2010, I had to create some kind of Microsoft Store ID, which I had forgotten I had. The rule that Microsoft have, is that your Microsoft Store ID, ties up to you Windows Live login. It so happens that the e-mail service at my college, Limerick Institute of Technology, is hosted by Microsoft, in some kind of LIT student hotmail web client. </p>
<p>It followed, that when I purchased a full license for Microsoft wares &#8211; which had nothing at all to do with my university at Limerick in Ireland &#8211; and was purely for my own business usage, my Microsoft Store ID, I have now discovered is the same as my Limerick Institute of Technology student e-mail address! The worst thing about all of this effort by Adobe, Microsoft, Google and so on, to &#8216;lock you in&#8217; to some walled garden online space, is that when you proceed to buy something like an eBook at some time in the future, and do not synchronise it up with your original eBook authorisation Adobe ID &#8211; then you can&#8217;t use two eBooks that you purchased at separate times, from the same book publisher, on the same computer system, because they are authorised to two different Adobe ID&#8217;s! This has happened to me recently also. </p>
<p>The Limerick Institute of Technology e-mail address for my Microsoft Store ID, is the typical example. After a couple of years, when move away from that institution and no longer have access to that Windows Live ID! ! ! It&#8217;s all very strange, very cloud-like, clever like, and not at all satisfactory in my humble opinion.</p>
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		<title>Comment on Four Difficult Questions Regarding Bullying and Youth Suicide by Dale</title>
		<link>http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2011/12/12/questions-bullying-suicide.html/comment-page-1#comment-4129061</link>
		<dc:creator>Dale</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Jan 2012 17:34:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/?p=4291#comment-4129061</guid>
		<description>I grew up before all of this hit the schools.  In elementary school in the 70&#039;s, I was the victim of a number of bullies for a totally different reason.  My family moved quite a bit, so I was always the new kid in every school.  I didn&#039;t know it at the time, but I was one of the lucky ones.  Being a new kid is a social stigma that diminishes when it is publicly exposed.

Zero tolerance policies exist, in theory at least, to force schools to deal even-handedly with any bullying.  The problem is that they force schools to deal even-handedly with any bullying that is seen or reported.  Bullies get very good at not getting caught.  Their victims don&#039;t control the time and place of the bullying.  Few victims want to report an incident, drawing more attention to themselves from their attackers and also opening up about the nature of the bullying.  The report is never confidential because the bully knows about it and knows what really happened.

I agree with Alexandra that the solution rests on changing ourselves.  It isn&#039;t about condemning bullying, although we should.  What has to happen is showing our children, and their peers, that they are good and worthy individuals.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I grew up before all of this hit the schools.  In elementary school in the 70&#8242;s, I was the victim of a number of bullies for a totally different reason.  My family moved quite a bit, so I was always the new kid in every school.  I didn&#8217;t know it at the time, but I was one of the lucky ones.  Being a new kid is a social stigma that diminishes when it is publicly exposed.</p>
<p>Zero tolerance policies exist, in theory at least, to force schools to deal even-handedly with any bullying.  The problem is that they force schools to deal even-handedly with any bullying that is seen or reported.  Bullies get very good at not getting caught.  Their victims don&#8217;t control the time and place of the bullying.  Few victims want to report an incident, drawing more attention to themselves from their attackers and also opening up about the nature of the bullying.  The report is never confidential because the bully knows about it and knows what really happened.</p>
<p>I agree with Alexandra that the solution rests on changing ourselves.  It isn&#8217;t about condemning bullying, although we should.  What has to happen is showing our children, and their peers, that they are good and worthy individuals.</p>
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		<title>Comment on Four Difficult Questions Regarding Bullying and Youth Suicide by Alexandra</title>
		<link>http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/archives/2011/12/12/questions-bullying-suicide.html/comment-page-1#comment-4128886</link>
		<dc:creator>Alexandra</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Jan 2012 16:29:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.zephoria.org/thoughts/?p=4291#comment-4128886</guid>
		<description>Thank you for this article. I am a mom of two young girls who lived in California and Northern Italy.
I agree with you prompting adults to take the responsibility for social behaviors.
Bullying is a painful experience wherever you happen to live for both the parents and the children. It&#039;s a form of power that some kids execute on others, usually in a highly competitive society. Think about the values we transmit to our kids by overloading them with assignments, extra-curriculum activities, comparing them to others, pushing them to the limits, expressing OUR high expectations about excelling in school, making them think about the future job etc. No doubt these kids are overwhelmed, sleep-deprived and scared in this world and they feel powerless and angry. They feel they don&#039;t belong and they are afraid. That&#039;s a &quot;good&quot; terrain for bullying: low self-esteem, anger and fear. The question is: how do they raise their self-esteem, substitute anger and fear with acceptance and love? My answer is through more free creative time and close relationships. Imagine having the whole week booked with the school, activities and homework? How can you figure out what you like doing in life? You are not even supposed to ask this question because there are people around to tell you exactly what you SHOULD do.
There is another aspect that I would like to stress out. It&#039;s honesty. Both parents and kids need to learn how to be honest and the society should enhance that model of behaving. We can&#039;t tell our kids that they are so special and lucky and they always do a great job or criticize them by saying they are stupid. We should praise and criticize them specifically and with respect by saying for example that &quot;you worked so hard on this assignment, I&#039;m proud of you&quot;. We need to be honest and show we care. They should know that life is not about winning or losing, but learning and growing and mistakes are part of that process.
We can change the reality of our kids by first changing ourselves. Being a positive good role model for the society speaks much louder than 1000 of words to the youth.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Thank you for this article. I am a mom of two young girls who lived in California and Northern Italy.<br />
I agree with you prompting adults to take the responsibility for social behaviors.<br />
Bullying is a painful experience wherever you happen to live for both the parents and the children. It&#8217;s a form of power that some kids execute on others, usually in a highly competitive society. Think about the values we transmit to our kids by overloading them with assignments, extra-curriculum activities, comparing them to others, pushing them to the limits, expressing OUR high expectations about excelling in school, making them think about the future job etc. No doubt these kids are overwhelmed, sleep-deprived and scared in this world and they feel powerless and angry. They feel they don&#8217;t belong and they are afraid. That&#8217;s a &#8220;good&#8221; terrain for bullying: low self-esteem, anger and fear. The question is: how do they raise their self-esteem, substitute anger and fear with acceptance and love? My answer is through more free creative time and close relationships. Imagine having the whole week booked with the school, activities and homework? How can you figure out what you like doing in life? You are not even supposed to ask this question because there are people around to tell you exactly what you SHOULD do.<br />
There is another aspect that I would like to stress out. It&#8217;s honesty. Both parents and kids need to learn how to be honest and the society should enhance that model of behaving. We can&#8217;t tell our kids that they are so special and lucky and they always do a great job or criticize them by saying they are stupid. We should praise and criticize them specifically and with respect by saying for example that &#8220;you worked so hard on this assignment, I&#8217;m proud of you&#8221;. We need to be honest and show we care. They should know that life is not about winning or losing, but learning and growing and mistakes are part of that process.<br />
We can change the reality of our kids by first changing ourselves. Being a positive good role model for the society speaks much louder than 1000 of words to the youth.</p>
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