apophenia :: my life

April 20, 2009

RIP Pennsylvania Governor's School for the Sciences (PGSS)

I have been quite fortunate over the years. I have received numerous opportunities that afforded me opportunities to go far and do amazing things. One such opportunity was the Pennsylvania Governor's School for the Sciences (PGSS). Much to my horror and sadness, I have learned that Pennsylvania has cancelled PGSS due to lack of resources. This brings me tremendous sadness.

During the summer before my senior year, I attended PGSS at Carnegie Mellon with 89 other students from around Pennsylvania. We were selected based on our potential and given a free summer at CMU to focus on science. We were taught classes that we weren't taught in high school - molecular biology, inorganic chemistry, discrete math, computer science, modern physics. (A group of us teamed up together to master these topics by specializing in one and making sure that we could teach everyone else in our group what was going on when we collaboratively did homework together. There were five girls and five boys in our team; I was the girl rep for discrete math.)

For me, this program was critical. Up until then, my science classes had been beyond basic. This was the first time that I felt challenged by science and math and I LOVED it. Going into college, I decided to study math because of my experience at PGSS. (I quickly switched to computer science upon entrance when I realized that CS involved more fun math.)

What I got from PGSS went beyond the curricular structure. I loved the opportunity to spend a summer with brilliant folks who liked to solve puzzles and THINK. I developed friendships that played a critical role in keeping me motivated my senior year. I spent many weekends traveling to Philly and other places to meet up with the folks that I met at PGSS. My homecoming and prom dates were both from PGSS. I traveled by rail across the USA with a PGSS person after high school. While I was getting crapped on by my classmates, PGSS folks were keeping me sane and strong. (And they were also part of the reason that I got more deeply involved in Internet culture.) Governor's School also taught me to function on all-nighters and have fun while working in the lab.

More than anything, Governor's School made visible what college could be like if I went to a school surrounded by smart people. (It was through one of the people at PGSS that I learned about Brown.) When people would ask me what PGSS was, I jokingly called it the "ticket to the Ivy League." For those of us who didn't come from boarding and prep schools, PGSS was often a free pass into institutions that might have otherwise ignored us and our public school background.

Of course, this is also the challenge. Many of the PGSS folks that I know didn't return to Pennsylvania. We used PGSS as a one-way pass out of the state to places where science and technology played a more crucial role in industry. And it's hard for a state-sponsored program to consider that a success. But on an individual level, everyone I've ever met from PGSS benefited tremendously from that opportunity. It deeply saddens me to think that future students won't have such an opportunity. Le sad.

Category: my life

Tags: PGSS science opportunity

   

Posted by zephoria at 9:49 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)

March 30, 2009

Seeking: Boston-based developer for prototyping work with moi

Back in the day, I used to build interactive visualizations and other tools to mark up and analyze data. My research agenda is leading me back there and so Microsoft Research has kindly agreed to give me the resources to try out working with a developer.

Thus, this is a call for a Boston-based developer interested in working as a contractor on a full-time basis. This is not a permanent gig, but there's budget for at least the next three months. This position is being contracted through Talent Source and you would be officially reporting to someone who is more code-minded. You would be working in Kendall Square amidst a bunch of lovable researchers who speak in mathematical equations, physics models, and social science mumbo jumbo. Start date is effectively now.

The ideal candidate would be fluent in C# and Java, comfortable working with SQL servers, and have a penchant for learning new web technologies for fun. There's a decent chance this project will involve a combination of Python, Processing, Rails, AJAX, etc. or whatever tool makes the most sense for the situation. This will also involve learning various APIs (e.g., Twitter, Facebook, etc.) and toolkits (e.g., Guess, Prefuse).

The ideal candidate would love prototyping off of half-baked drawings scribbled on napkins in crayon. This is not going to be a good gig for someone who needs a proper spec or development process. The "products" are going to be research probes and will need to evolve with use. The end-goal is far more prototype than stable product and the goal will be to iterate quickly at the expense of stability.

The ideal candidate would be self-motivated and patient with an eclectic work environment. The work environment is a research lab and my management style is quite flexible (a.k.a. virtually non-existent). This is not going to work for someone who functions best through heavy management or direct intervention. Flexibility and patience are pretty critical and I expect a bunch of eye-rolling when I make crazy suggestions.

The ideal candidate would enjoy thinking about how to interact with data and coming up with new adhoc ways of scraping, aggregating, sorting, manipulating, analyzing, visualizing and interacting with online social data. Someone who loves social data and would enjoy understanding the patterns in large data would find this gig especially fun. The ideal candidate might even have a personal interest in research themselves.

If you are interested in this position, please reach out to the Talent Source Program Office via email at TSPHelp@microsoft.com and/or call 1-877-673-8877 and reference the Job ID 7819-1. Talent Source will connect you with an approved temp agency right away.

Feel free to pass this on to anyone who you think might be into this gig, especially folks who you think might gel well with my quirkiness.

Category: my life

Tags: hiring job developer programmer

   

Posted by zephoria at 5:55 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)

March 17, 2009

a random act of kindness

Due to poor planning, G and I were on different flights back to Boston from SXSW. I was already booked on the early flight and had already been assigned my upgrade. So when we reached DFW, we raced across the airport to get him on standby. Success, but of course, he got stuck in a middle seat in coach. Standing around waiting to board, I'm feeling all mega-guilty about being in first while he's in coach so I'm more affectionate than normal. The plane boards and I proceed to 1A. The guy sitting in 1B looks at me and says, "Aren't you traveling with someone?" After I nod, he says, "Why don't I switch with him?" I explain that he's in coach and he shakes his head to say "no problem" but I proceed to protest and point out that he's in a center seat in coach and he protests further by saying that he flies all the time and no problem, no problem, I should sit with my partner... By this time, first is wide-eyed. I mean, what business traveler in their right mind wants to give up a bulkhead first seat to sit in a center in coach? But before I manage to protest louder, he grabs his stuff and heads back to coach. The woman behind me and I laugh uncomfortably with big eyes, verbalizing what we were thinking: "did that really happen?"

Sure enough, he proceeds to sit in coach. The flight attendants are astonished and find him a seat in the back with more room and continue on to send back ice cream and food and whatnot. At one point, I asked one of the flight attendants how he was doing and she smiled and said that he was an extremely kind man and that the flight attendants were all loving him. That she had never in her day seen someone give up a first class seat as a random act of kindness. We were all quite floored.

The truth is that I was completely flabbergasted and without a script in which to operate. I never caught the man's name. I couldn't find him after we landed. I never really got to properly say thank you. But, Mr. Nice Businessman, if you're out there, I want you to know that your random act of kindness made me a giddy happy kid; flying home next to G was really wonderful. And you made a lot of people smile. So THANK YOU!

Category: my life

Tags: kindness

   

Posted by zephoria at 10:29 PM | Comments (25) | TrackBack (0)

January 24, 2009

my first week

What a crazy week it's been. I came back from vacation and landed in Boston just seven days ago (during a winter snow storm, of course). On Monday, I started at Microsoft Research New England and have been working my toosh off to get settled (battling network connections, apartment searching, etc.). I have to admit that I'm totally overwhelmed. I've interacted with more humans this week than I have in the last year. And I'm surrounded by brilliant people who do research that I don't understand at all. So I'm on a crash course, trying to grok what my colleagues do and figure out how I fit in and how I can collaborate with them. But I'm totally up for the challenge, in part because I really really really like the people I work with and our conversations are totally inspiring. Even if they think that I'm an odd duck.

More writing coming soon. But first, settling in and finding my feet. Have I told you lately how awesome it is to not be working on my dissertation? OMG. So much relief.

I hope all of you are well!

Category: my life

   

Posted by zephoria at 5:12 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)

January 15, 2009

i'm baaaaaack!

::wave:: Hello! I'm currently clicking keys on a keyboard for the first time in a month and boy oh boy does it feel weird. It's been a fun-filled adventurous break. The first chunk involved driving cross-country on our "real America" tour of the U.S. This was followed by some fun family time for the holidays. And then we headed south to Costa Rica where we tromped around both coasts and rain/cloud forests and played with all sorts of animals (from monkeys to toucans to armadillos). I feel rested, rejuvenated and utterly ecstatic to be starting up at MSR on Monday.

Not surprisingly, I have a lot more to say about all of the above, but it's 1.30AM and I'm bloody tired. And I still need to drive from Pennsylvania to Boston. Still, I wanted to let all who are still reading know that I'm back and that my email has been turned on again. Also, I'll address the release of the Internet Safety Technical Task Force Report more when I can see straight. But in the meantime, HELLO WORLD!

Category: my life

   

Posted by zephoria at 10:32 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack (0)

December 11, 2008

Email Sabbatical Has Begun

We are packed and finishing the final touches on leaving Los Angeles. My email bouncer is on (with a few remaining loopholes for those who I owe stuff to before I leave... those will close tomorrow). We will then begin driving east via the 10, do the family thing for the holidays, and then run off for a proper vacation in Costa Rica before landing in Boston mid-January. What this translates to is:

No email will be received by danah's ornery INBOX between December 11 and January 19!

For those who are unaware of my approach to vacation... I believe that email eradicates any benefits gained from taking a vacation by collecting mold and spitting it back out at you the moment you return. As such, I've trained my beloved INBOX to reject all email during vacation. I give it a little help in the form of a .procmail file that sends everything directly to /dev/null. The effect is very simple. You cannot put anything in my queue while I'm away (however lovingly you intend it) and I come home to a clean INBOX. Don't worry... if you forget, you'll get a nice note from my INBOX telling you to shove off, respect danah's deeply needed vacation time, and try again after January 19. It's sick, twisted, and counter to the always-on culture that we live in. But it's me.

I've received a lot of feedback in the last week about my approach to email while on vacation. I've been commended and accused of being a self-righteous bitch. I particularly love the folks who tell me to get a Blackberry. (For those who don't know me, I have a Sidekick and an iPhone.) I normally check email all day long and when I'm in full swing, I receive 500-700 personally addressed emails per day in addition to mailing lists. There's no way that this is manageable when I'm going away for a month. There's no way that I could address this much email in the first month of arriving in Boston. Also, I learned ages ago that it's better to declare email bankruptcy than to fool myself or others into believing that I can manage the unmanageable. I announce my email sabbatical a few weeks ahead of time so that folks know what's coming. Perhaps I misjudged how folks would take my email sabbatical. Personally, I think it's pretty rude that folks think that the asynchronicity of email gives them the right to pile things onto my plate like a huge to-do list. But it appears that many think I'm the rude one for demanding folks to wait while I'm on vacation.

I'm also shocked by how many folks are completely addicted to their email. I have to admit that email sabbaticals are very much like a meditation retreat for me. It's all about letting go. And gosh darn it, it feels mighty fine to do this.

Anyhow, my apologies to those who think I have no right to take a vacation or beg a reprieve from the onslaught of emails from well-intended strangers. I don't mean to offend. But I do mean to give myself the break that I desperately need in order to come back refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to tackle the next big thing.

Category: my life

Tags: email vacation

   

Posted by zephoria at 3:29 PM | Comments (16) | TrackBack (0)

December 9, 2008

OMG. I have my PhD! OMG!!!!!

PS: I will post my dissertation in January when I return from vacation.

Category: my life

Tags: dissertation phd

   

Posted by zephoria at 11:40 AM | Comments (84) | TrackBack (0)

December 5, 2008

Warning: Email Sabbatical is Imminent .. and other random thoughts

On Monday, I will fly to Berkeley to begin the dissertation filing process. (Don't you dare congratulate me until I get this puppy signed and accepted.) On Wednesday, I ship my beloved feline to her kitty spa. On Thursday, the movers arrive. (And good god is this place a wreck from my festering; plus, not one box is packed.) On Friday, we drive out. This translates to:

No email will be received by danah's ornery INBOX between December 11 and January 19!

For those who are unaware of my approach to vacation... I believe that email eradicates any benefits gained from taking a vacation by collecting mold and spitting it back out at you the moment you return. As such, I've trained my beloved INBOX to reject all email during vacation. I give it a little help in the form of a .procmail file that sends everything directly to /dev/null. The effect is very simple. You cannot put anything in my queue while I'm away (however lovingly you intend it) and I come home to a clean INBOX. Don't worry... if you forget, you'll get a nice note from my INBOX telling you to shove off, respect danah's deeply needed vacation time, and try again after January 19.

It's sick, twisted, and counter to the always-on culture that we live in. But gosh darnit, it feels mighty fine to come home fret-free. And this will be especially important for this trip because, starting January 19, I will begin my new job at MSR - w00t!

For those curious to where I'm going... the first 10 days will be spent driving cross-country so that G can see "real America." I will spend the holiday with my fam before heading to Costa Rica for 2.5 weeks of adventuring. If you happen to have good knowledge of kitsch Americana along the 10, please do share! I love big balls of twine, 100' grasshoppers, and stores dedicated to the unique, obscure, and downright weird.

There's good news in all of this... in a very short period of time, years of weight will be lifted from my shoulders and that pesky "Dissertation in Progress: Do Not Disturb" sign will be lifted from my blog. I will be less bitchy, more interested in leaving my house, and much more likely to blog. Plus, I'll actually start attending events again. (SXSW, anyone?!?!)

I've learned something very interesting in this process though... You know how when you were in college you kept wondering how your professors got so WEIRD? They all seemed to have their own unique brand of quirk, a penchant for collecting something random, and a twitch that made it clear that interacting with humans was not quite their speed. They don't tell you this when you start your PhD, but this is a product of academification. It is caused by long years of jumping through hoops, complete isolation/alienation, and the pressure to be brilliant. It's post-traumatic academic disorder.

So please be kind when you see me... I haven't grown spots, but sunlight is scary and my collection of YA ARCs is growing out of control. And I cannot remember what it's like to leave my PJs. And somehow I grew hair. Like lots of it. I look like a girl! EEK!

Category: my life

Tags: vacation graduation dissertation anticipation

   

Posted by zephoria at 11:12 PM | Comments (18) | TrackBack (0)

December 2, 2008

CVS refused to fill my prescription; is this legal?

A week ago, I went to my normal pharmacy to get a prescription filled. When they told me they were out but could order it for me, I decided to try the nearby CVS. I was trying to make errand-running a one-day event. I walked into the CVS on Lincoln in Venice and politely waited my turn. When I handed my prescription to the clerk, she turned to the pharmacist to see if he had it available. He looked my prescription, looked at me, and said "I'm not filling that." Confused, I asked him what? He repeated that he would not fill it and gave me a look that made me feel as though I was somehow a bad person. When I asked why, he grew curt and told me that he doesn't fill prescriptions from out-of-town doctors. The woman waiting in line next to me rebuked his claim when she responded, "you always fill mine and my doctor is in Santa Barbara." He silenced her with a stern look and told her this was none of her business. Standing amidst a flood of customers, I was too shocked and embarrassed to know what to do. So I left.

I've heard stories of people being refused emergency contraception, but my prescription has nothing to do with birth control. I've heard stories of people abusing the ADHD medication that I'm on, but I've been responsibly taking this particular medication since 2001 and my doctor would've easily confirmed that. I am a Berkeley student and my doctor is based in Berkeley. I have been seeing him since I arrived in Berkeley in 2003. When I moved to Los Angeles, he and his colleagues started sending me a physical prescription to fill down here provided that I visit annually for a check-up. Because my prescription is scheduled, it can't simply be called in. Due to a bad reaction to whatever gelatin or sugar is used in the generic, I've always been given the brand name prescription. I hate paying the extra money, but I hate the headaches a whole lot more. While I've been given plenty of sympathetic looks when I shell out major duckets for the prescription, I've never been given a problem by a pharmacy before.

My shock has since turned into a series of emotions. Confusion, anger, frustration. I contacted CVS to voice my complaint and was told that "a Pharmacist works under their own private license and reserves the right to refuse to fill for any reason." Is this true? I cannot find authoritative information on the matter and I'm quite confused, so I have some questions for anyone who knows more than I do:

• Under what circumstances can a pharmacist refuse a prescription?
  
• Are there laws that dictate when and how pharmacists can refuse a valid prescription even when it can be confirmed by the doctor and does not conflict with any other medication?
  
• Are there examples of people being denied legitimate prescriptions for things other than contraception?
  
• How often are people denied their prescriptions?
  
• What recourses and alternatives do patients have when they are denied?
  

According to the USA Today, "The policy at most drug store chains and the American Pharmacists Association is that druggists shouldn't be forced to violate their beliefs, but they must make arrangements so the patient can still get the pills from another pharmacist at the store or direct the patient to a store that will fill the order. That makes sense. Pharmacists with objections to some medicines should identify those situations ahead of time, and stores should let the public know their policies." This was not the case at CVS. There were no signs saying that they wouldn't accept my prescription nor did the pharmacist make any offer to connect me with someone else or encourage me to come back at a different time. He simply chased me away and glared at me as though I was a criminal.

Anyhow, I'm not sure what I can do other than never step foot in a CVS again. I'm lucky that I have choices, but, knowing that many people do not, the way that I was treated and refused service makes me really upset.

Update: the CVS pharmacy supervisor of Los Angeles called me to get more information. He agreed that what the pharmacist did was inappropriate and that, if he had doubts about the legitimacy of my prescription, he should have called Berkeley or held onto it to call in the morning. The supervisor said that he would make certain that his pharmacists had a proper protocol for what to do when they were confronted with similar situations. He was deeply apologetic and professional.

The supervisor also made me realize one omission in my story. I have a long history of filling this prescription at other CVSes in Cambridge and San Francisco. The supervisor told me that the pharmacist would have been able to look my name up and see that record at other stores such that, even if he had never seen me before, CVS would have recognized me and my prescription as legitimate and having history.

I don't know what the outcome will be for the pharmacist, but my hope is that CVS will actually do something to redress the broader issue, if only to not blemish their brand. Hopefully my experience and willingness to object will lead to new policies that will protect those less fortunate from being denied prescriptions in the future.

Category: my life

Tags: CVS medication prescriptions law society pharmacists

   

Posted by zephoria at 12:09 PM | Comments (32) | TrackBack (0)

October 18, 2008

the final throes

Last week, I returned to Berkeley to defend my dissertation on the Day of Atonement (ironic, eh?). This involved both a public dissertation talk and a private defense. The public talk was an opportunity for me to share my findings with my department. The private defense was an opportunity for my committee to share their critiques and feedback with me. For those sitting on pins and needles, don't worry, I passed. What this means is that my committee has now handed me a tree's worth of paper covered in red pen and 2.5 hours worth of feedback to integrate in the next 6-8 weeks. Luckily, their general attitude was: "Good job! You're almost there! Here's a few thoughts for the dissertation and a large stack of thoughts for the book."

This now means that I'm officially in the final throes of my PhD. I'm not yet Dr. but I'm close... real close... the kind of close where failing to finish is not an option. The kind of close where looking at my dissertation makes me want to vomit. The kind of close where I've started dreaming about the next project. The kind of close where I'm no longer convinced that I'm going to fail and where I'm completely shocked that this is for realz. Of course, it's not yet over... I still need to edit this puppy and get it into a format that the Borg will accept at which point I will need to deftly enact circus tricks to get it through the layers of UC bureaucracy. But still... close! I can see the light!

The whole defense process was pretty emotionally overwhelming. I'm super duper thankful for the most amazing committee a girl can ask for. I call them the goddesses because they have been truly supportive in ways that I wasn't really prepared for. That said, I can't help but miss Peter. I wasn't alone in this thought. Right before my defense, Mimi posted a Tweet that got me all choked up: "happy to get to play proud advisor today though really wishing a certain other advisor was here to share the moment." We were all missing him. Many of those who attended my public talk had him on their mind and when I got to the end of my slide deck, I concluded with a dedication to Peter. Upon seeing tears in the eyes of people in the room, I had to choke back my own for the second time that day.

It's weird to be nearing the end and to realize that I'm about to move on to a new phase in my life. Everyone says that post-PhD is much better than grad school. I hope they're right. My body certainly hopes they're right. At the same time, it's been an unbelievable 5.5 years. I can't help but think of all that I've learned and done and the amazing people that I've been able to work with. I still can't believe that Berkeley's iSchool and my committee let me get away with all that I've done. When I started at Berkeley, Peter promised me that it would be the perfect place to cause trouble and grow into my own kind of scholar. He vowed to protect me as long as I vowed to kick ass and take names. I can't help but smile thinking about those conversations and I hope that, somewhere out there, he's smiling too.

Category: my life

Tags: dissertation defense

   

Posted by zephoria at 11:24 PM | Comments (19) | TrackBack (0)

October 8, 2008

Handheld Learning in London

I'm heading to London on Sunday to speak at Handheld Learning 2008 with a bunch of other cool smart thinking types. I've been remiss in posting this because I've been totally focused on my dissertation but I'm looking forward to this event and I think that some of you (especially all y'all Londoners) might enjoy it. w00t!!

Update: The video of my talk can be found here.

Category: my life

Tags: conference

   

Posted by zephoria at 9:59 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

September 21, 2008

I will be joining Microsoft Research in January

Guess who has a post-dissertation job? [Yes, that implies I'm actually going to finish this *#$@! dissertation.] ::bounce:: In January, I will be joining the newly minted Microsoft Research New England in Boston, MA. w00000t!!!!! I couldn't be more ecstatic.

For those who don't know Microsoft Research (MSR), it's a pure research lab. What this means is that researchers are hired to advance the state of knowledge in their respective areas of research. MSR is a different structure than Microsoft proper and researchers are expected to publish in peer-reviewed journals and they are evaluated on the contributions they make to the field. Researchers are welcome to collaborate with whoever they please, engage with students at local institutions, and co-teach classes if that'll help them fulfill their research agendas. Researchers are welcome to pursue the research topics that they find to be interesting and important. In essence, being a MSR researcher is quite similar to being a faculty at a research institution. To the shock of most folk, MSR is not about directly contributing to the bottom line of Microsoft, but about advancing knowledge that will benefit the future of computing.

As many of you know, I've been quite cagey about the possibility of the future for quite some time. I've been frustrated with academic restrictions and fearful that academia wouldn't let me do the kind of research that I wanted to do. I've been equally scared of industrial research because I've watched too much research get trapped down behind closed corporate walls. I've always been in awe of MSR because of its openness but I wasn't really jumping to move to Redmond. I had been pretty set that I was going to go independent and pay the bills through freelancing. Then, a funny combination of events happened.

It all began with Dopplr. Linda Stone noticed that I was swinging through Seattle and she called me up and told me that I had to do dinner with her. Linda's plots are always tremendous so of course I said yes. When I arrived, she introduced me to Jennifer Chayes and Christian Borgs, the physicists who were starting the new MSR lab. Jennifer immediately began interrogating me about my research and about social science more broadly. To say Jennifer & I clicked is a bit of an understatement. Like me, Jennifer is loud, crazy, and intense. We got along like peas in a pod and spent the night chattering away. When she told me that I should come work for her, I laughed it off and didn't think much about it. But I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Jennifer and Christian's vision for the lab aligned with my view of research. They believe in interdisciplinary work, believe in the ways that new ideas can come from unexpected collaborations. While I know a lot of social scientists who curl their nose at the idea of a lab full of physicists, mathematicians, and economists, I find that quite appealing. I love the idea of such a diverse group thinking about how the world works from different angles. Plus, meeting the folks at the new lab - Henry Cohn, Yael Kalai, Adam Kalai, and Butler Lampson - only made me more intrigued by it. Everyone was so ridiculously nice and even though we didn't work on the same problems we found funny intersections.

The more that I talked with folks at MSR, the more I fell in love with the possibility of going there. And then I started meeting with execs and realized that what MSR researchers were telling me fit with broader strategy. I met with Rick Rashid, the head of MSR, who explained why he started MSR and how he saw it fit into the company. I met with Ray Ozzie (who I've known and adored for quite some time) and he confirmed the importance of research for the future of Microsoft. Both of them made me feel fully confident that my approach to research would not only be tolerated but welcomed. Plus, there's a broad desire to understand the intersections between computing and all things social which is straight up my alley.

As the pieces came together, I realized that it just made complete sense. Going to MSR will allow me to continue the research I do and it will give me a productive, collaborative, interdisciplinary environment in which to do it. There's amazing work at MSR concerning social media and even those at MSR-NE who are not working on social media are more than open to the topics engendered by it and more than ecstatic to engage with me. Being in a room full of scientists might not seem like the most obvious fit, but really, you have to meet them to understand how invigorating an environment it is.

Personally, going to MSR will mean a continuation of the good things that I do and a reduction of the things that exhaust me. I will continue to publish, go to conferences, and blog. I will keep my Berkman Center fellowship. I will continue public speaking, political interventions, and sitting on advisory boards. I will get involved in the intellectual communities in Cambridge and collaborate with scholars. I will escape dissertation hell (w00t!). I will escape IRB bureaucracy and have a much more sane ethics review process. I will stop consulting and doing private corporate talks. I will get to lower travel to a sane level. All of this will be possible because I will get paid to do the research that I want to do.

I have no doubt that this move prompts concerned questions from those who know me as well as those who don't, so let me take a moment to pre-emptively respond to criticisms that I've already heard...

• But you hated Boston... It's true that Boston and I weren't the closest of friends. We've called a truce and we're going to see what happens. One thing is for certain: I can't wait to get back to some very dear friends (although I will miss my west-coast pals). And I *cannot* wait to get back to my favorite gym in the whole wide word: Healthworks. Mmmm... oh goddess do I love that woman-friendly place. I'm even kinda excited by the idea of turtlenecks. I think I look HOTT in turtlenecks.
• But you're a Mac fiend... In every company I've ever worked for, I've always used products produced by competitors. I think that companies who expect employees to buy into their product line hook, line, and sinker are cults. Much can be learned by understanding why people know about your product and prefer a different one. There are plenty of Microsoft products that I use and adore, but I ain't giving up my beloved Xanadu. And, surprisingly, Microsoft respects this and is willing to let me continue to work on a Mac.
• But industry research is selling out! When research is useful, people use it. It doesn't matter if you're in industry or academia - if you publish for others to read, you're a fool if you don't think it'll get used. MSR is giving me the opportunity to direct my research agenda and produce scholarship for the public good. They will inevitably use what I produce, but they would've anyhow. In any other configuration, I would have (and have) consulted for private companies to make ends meet. There is no doubt that I will effectively consult for Microsoft but my research, like always, will be for the public good. I will continue to publish and I will probably publish more since I won't be writing grant applications or consulting.
• But job security!?!? I find it odd that academics always point to job security as the reason to stay in academia because I am watching too many of my favorite elder scholars struggle desperately to get research grants to keep their labs going. How is grant-driven academia that forces you to give up research to go out begging for grants considered job security? And besides, I'm happy to keep producing quality work steadily over time rather than racing the hamster wheel for 7 years. At least at MSR, I don't have to wait to get tenure to be rebellious.
• But Microsoft is the devil incarnate! Years ago, I crafted a post comparing search companies to evil nation states of the 20th century. I think that my metaphors still hold and I've already worked for (and survived) Japan and the States. There is plenty about Microsoft's history that I have problems with. There are even issues today that I disagree with. But I've never been a part of a company (or a nation-state) that I fully agreed with. Even though I dream of going to Canada, I plan to stick it out here and push to make change. Likewise, even inside Microsoft, when I disagree, I will say so. I don't think that Microsoft is the devil, but I think that they've done some really stupid things and are actually working hard to right some of their past wrongs. I commend them for this. And hopefully I can do some good by being there. When I told Bill Buxton that I intended to address this issue here, he offered another perspective: "there's no merit to being an angel in heaven." I like that. That's a good one.

I have every expectation that folks out there will not understand my reasoning and will think poorly of me for choosing to go to MSR, but I'm utterly ecstatic. My interactions with folks at MSR have been non-stop fantabulous. It's an intellectually stimulating environment where I will have the resources and space to do my research and the encouragement to pursue a social media agenda. And frankly, I can't wait. I can't wait to be a part of an invigorating research environment. I can't wait to think about the intersections of science and social science. I can't wait to begin a new project and publish, publish, publish. I'm a bit wary about the snow, but we'll work on that one. At the end of the day, I couldn't be more pleased. w00000t!!!!!

Category: my life

Tags: microsoft research future job

   

Posted by zephoria at 8:46 PM | Comments (78) | TrackBack (0)

August 6, 2008

health update

First, thanks to all of you who've written nice things asking me about my health. Since I bitched here, I feel compelled to send an update too. The good news is that it's relatively simple and I'm going to be fine. The bad news is that it's going to take a little bit.

For those who don't know the backstory, I fractured C2/C3 when I was 16 playing ultimate frisbee. I've had various problems over the years as a result, but it's been a while so I was rather shocked to see old symptoms reappear. After finding a doctor who didn't think I was crazy, we set about to test things and figure out what might be causing it. Blood work, CT scans, physical evaluation, etc. Everything with my blood work and CT scans came back clear. There are still old scars on my neck, but that's nothing to worry about. Nothing new. But, here's the funny part - my alignment has gone to shit in all sorts of funny ways.

My body's alignment issues are funny because they're the result of trying to exercise. ::groan:: So, I knew that the various injuries that I've acquired over the last few years in an attempt to get into shape - golfer's elbow, strained shoulder, knee issues - were most likely caused by my attempts to compensate for my neck and wrists. Well, annoyingly, it seems as though my body has decided to additionally compensate for those injuries, further setting my body off kilter. The result? Dreadful alignment, pinched nerves, trapezius spasms, etc.

Doctor's guess is that this, combined with dissertation stress and the allergies and cough I managed to develop in Beijing, set my body into especially high freak out mode. It was a matter of time and, well, time hit this summer. As in the past, the problems with my vision are stemming from trapezius spasms. Only this time it's not due to too much exercise, but to improper exercise. Even working with a personal trainer wasn't the best of ideas because my injuries are too complex for that to work out well so that probably made things worse. But it's all fixable.

The good news is that no one is suggesting surgery or medicine. Instead, physical therapy. Directed, targeted, measured exercise with constant assessment. Get the body back into alignment without causing new injuries. Do exercises that don't let me compensate in stupid ways. Very precise and careful development of muscles. No additional exercising "for fun." The doc guesses it'll be a few months until I feel right again, but that if I work with a therapist to put my body back into shape, I should feel ten bazillion times better shortly. If not, we reassess.

Personally, I'm relieved. This all makes sense and the "solution" is something that I can live with. Or at least try without reservations. The only downside is that this stupid sneezing is probably not going to go away so long as I live in environments with pollutants. Hrmfpt.

Category: my life

Tags: health

   

Posted by zephoria at 8:13 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack (0)

August 5, 2008

answers to bizarre questions

Some of the questions posed when I requested brain fodder were, shall we say.... odd. In fact, it felt a bit like an "About Me" quiz. So I couldn't resist answering....

Alison Bechdel or Jorge Cham? Jorge Cham. It might be different if I ever left the house or could face thinking about my identity. There is no danah, only Zool. I mean dissertation. Besides, did you see today's PhD Comic? Running low on excuses... like asking for brain fodder...

Why is belly-button lint always blue? Well, if you're wearing black clothes, black is never true black... typically blue. And then you mix with other colors and voila. Try wearing only white clothes for a week. And read The Incredible World of Navel Fluff. Some people have far too much time to think about these things.

Are you Jewish? Not according to the Israeli Orthodox. But, really, what queer, feminist is? More seriously, my parents aren't Jewish, but my partner is and we celebrate all of the Jewish holidays.

Sweet or Salty? It was always sweet until recently. I think I'm getting old. Or adjusting to living in a desert.

Where did zephoria come from? When I was in college, zephyr meant three things to me: 1) the west wind; 2) an IM client; 3) the puppy dog that I lived with. In other words, zephyr combined my geekiness, my love of nature and animals, my desire to go to California, and my communication-driven-ness. Euphoria was what zephyr made me think of. Thus, zephoria. Plus, I always liked words that started with 'z'.

Favorite color? Silver, especially the silver that sparkles rainbows. Like the way that I imagine Edward's skin to look when he walks into the sun in Twilight. Not quite diamond silver, but the metallic silver that you can only get in nature, not car paint or clothing.

Who killed edupunk? Mmm... fun David Lynch plots ensue....

Category: my life

   

Posted by zephoria at 12:38 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

July 16, 2008

medical update

First, thanks y'all for your advice and support. Today, I visited a different doctor and it was much much better. She was willing to parse out the different symptoms and offer hypotheses and ways to test these possibilities. She ordered full blood work and, with the advice of a spine/neuro brother team, a CAT scan. Plus, since we know the neck thing is an ongoing issue, she's ordered PT to help me further stabilize my neck without creating new injuries. This is purrrfect since personal trainers, swimming, yoga, and pilates have all been abysmal failures.

There are still lots of question marks, but I'm much happier with how we're proceeding. I feel like I'm being taken seriously and that she's treating this like a puzzle to be solved systematically. And she's not focusing on treating the symptoms but getting at what's underneath them. w000t!

Anyhow, thanks for all of the love and support and hopefully I'll know more soon.

Category: my life

Tags: health

   

Posted by zephoria at 6:03 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

July 14, 2008

seeking a productive relationship with medicine and the Internet

Ever since I left Beijing, I've felt like hell. A myriad of odd and seemingly disconnected symptoms have plagued me all month. My least favorite is the persistent cough that tastes like iron that makes me think I'm coughing up my lungs for realz. I find the sneezing to be mostly entertaining, although 14+ sessions a day of 3+ sneezes each has gotten a little overwhelming, even if said sneezes are awfully cute. Most of the others are just odd. None of them are worrying, except in aggregate. I feel like my body is rebelling against its very existence. Unfortunately, the seriousness of the odd symptoms took a turn for the worse this weekend. The combination of dizziness, nausea, and loss of vision forced me to leave a geek campout that I had been looking forward to for quite some time. Luckily, good friends were there to worry about me and help me get back to LA.

The Internet is dangerous when you have a disparate set of odd symptoms. There's good reason to believe that I have mono, rare allergies, and a wide array of different cancers. Needless to say, I don't trust the Internet to diagnose me. So I set about trying to find a way to get a doctor to help me. For once, I have real health insurance. (Of course, that doesn't help so much when you don't have a primary care physician because getting an appointment is a bitch. And goddess knows that going to the ER in LA sounds like the worst idea possible.) I ended up going to a university clinic where the doctor listened to my symptoms, decided that I must have migraine auras, wrote me a prescription and whisked me out of there before I had time to process what was said. Not a single test, unless you count the reflex one. I paid an absurd price for the meds and then went home to read about them on the Internet.

What I found bothered me. Oddly, the list of symptoms for migraine auras pretty much matched up with the list of side effects for the medicine. What it supposedly treats are also what it might cause. While headaches are not a requirement for migraine auras, headache-free migraines are rare and usually involve a history of related migraines. I don't have these problems. So I'm sitting here, reading about a diagnosis that doesn't seem right and reading about a medicine that seems to cause more problems than it helps. Besides, the instructions indicate to take the medicine when I have a headache. And furthermore, what does this have to do with my iron-tasting cough?

While the Internet is not diagnosing me, it is making me call into question the supposed diagnosis and treatment. I feel both empowered and disempowered by this source of information. Or rather, what makes me feel disempowered is the lack of a way of integrating this information into a productive move towards wellness. If I take the meds, I'm subjecting my body to chemicals that seem unnecessary and irrelevant. If I don't, I've just wasted a day and am back to square one in feeling shitty with no path forward. Part of me wants to call the doctor, but I didn't like the dynamic in our meeting so I can't imagine a phone one where I come bearing Internet information. Instead, I will see another doctor.

All of this makes me wonder... isn't there a better way to integrate information and medicine in a productive manner? I mean, I've read Birth of the Clinic and I know all about the power relations involved in medicine, but can't we undo that somehow? I know that the doctors don't know everything but I hate being treated like an idiot in the clinic and feeling like a criminal when I investigate my diagnosis/treatment and, implicitly, call into question the authority and power of the doctor. All I want is to be healthy and to know why my body feels like crap. What will it take to make medicine a collaborative endeavor? I've known some awesome doctors who are more collaborative over the years, but why can't that be the norm? And why can't there be a better way to match doctors and patients than geographic lookups on insurance websites? How can we get Yelp-like descriptions of doctors rather than the RateMyProfessor-esque ratings that do exist? What's it going to take for the walls between patients and doctors to come down?

Yes, I'm ranting. I need something to do with this pent-up ickiness. Besides, ranting here also serves to explain why I'm dreadfully behind in responding to everything, especially anything that requires thinking. Sorry about that. My brain is moosh. I just hope that my angry body isn't doing permanent damage on my mooshy brain.

PS: I can't wait to be healthy and post-dissertation so my blog stops looking so lame.

Category: my life

Tags: health medicine

   

Posted by zephoria at 6:48 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack (0)

May 21, 2008

update: the sorta graduation

For months, I've been locked indoors trying to get enough of my dissertation finished so that I could walk in graduation. Last week, I handed something that sorta kinda looks vaguely like a maybe dissertation to my committee, much to the absolute joy of my family, I walked in Berkeley's graduation. Of course, that does not mean that I'm graduated so don't go calling me doctor. Oh, no, au contraire! This only means that I've walked and that my committee has full faith that I will be finished within six months. So, now, I have six months to file. ::gulp:: But it can be done!! It will be done!! I will finish!!

Graduation was a trip. My grandparents took their first flight in 13 years to come to California and join me on a very sunny day in Berkeley. I got to graduate with an amazing crop of Master's students and four of my beloved PhDs. My former mentor Genevieve Bell gave a very inspiring talk filled with "anthropological advice" about how to approach the world like a fieldwork project. Post-graduation, I got some quality family time that involved a lot of food and wine tasting. It was a fantastic break, even if I'm now back to the grind.

As much as I'm a bit stir-crazy from all of the dissertation work, there's a part of me that is absolutely loving the opportunity to hibernate and get clarity on what exactly I've been thinking about for the last five years. Lots of folks have told me that dissertations are archaic and silly, but I am soooo glad to be doing this. Having the opportunity to do some sustained thinking, get regular advice, and try to actually take my thinking to the next level has been a joyous thing. The downside is that it means that I have no life and am a complete hermit that has forgotten how to interact with humans. I now see how academics become the kooky creatures that they are. Tehehe.

Anyhow, I'm still gonna be a sucky communicator and blogger until I file this darn thing, but I feel as though progress is being made and graduation was a really nice reality check. Now I know that I. Am. Going. To. Finish. Grad. School. Darnit. W000t!

Category: my life

Tags: graduation dissertation

   

Posted by zephoria at 12:04 PM | Comments (22) | TrackBack (0)

April 16, 2008

my creative environment

Anil Dash asked folks to tell him about their work environments, about what the environment is like where they feel most creative. In a moment of procrastination, I responded and I thought I'd share. If you're so inclined, I'd love to know what is on the other side of your computer. I do love to hear how people's lives are organized.

Two weeks before I hunkered down to write my last mega treatise, all of my CDs were stolen from my car. I whimpered on a mailing list and this super kind guy burned off 200 of the ones I lost and sent them to me. That week, I also bought the new Son Kite album. I took the 201 CDs with me to the cottage where I hibernated. One small problem... the CD player in the house in the middle of the woods did not play burned CDs. So, for 10 days, I listened to one CD on repeat: Son Kite's "Perspectives Of."

Ever since then, whenever I hunker down to write something longer than a blog post, including all of my articles and most of my essays, I mostly ignore the other 10,000 songs in my iTunes and play Son Kite. On repeat. Every once in a while, I expand out a little bit.. some Dr. Toast here, bluetech there, a little Antix, Ticon and Vibrasphere. But it mostly comes back to Son Kite.

To separate serious writing from anything else (since I never leave my house), I switch to more organic sounds. Blog posts get a little jazz, a little downtempo. When I am emotional and need to just run around the house screaming as a coping mechanism for writing, I turn on Ani DiFranco. Anyone who has followed my Last.FM lately probably realizes that there's been a lot of screaming.

As for environment, my living room (a.k.a. office) has been the same for years. Two fuzzy green couches with 5 separate sitting options. Legs up on fuzzy stool. Surrounded by 1200 books, organized obsessively by topics and catalogued in a database for easy locating... a dozen or so sitting on the couch beside me. Lots of plants, all organic colors, no TV or monitor of any kind. A big calming buddha statue that weighs over 200 pounds and a variety of paintings from friends and travels. Huge windows with lots of light streaming in and birds chirping outside. Candles for nighttime. Twelve different lights that can be combined in different ways in relation to my mood. No fluorescents, all incancesdents.. I love the environment, but lighting really affects my productivity. Most importantly, my cat Marbellio sits on my left side or above my head on the windowsill all day while I work.

I've transported this setup to four different apartments since 2002. I can't work in offices or anywhere where the lighting is headache producing. I can't work at desks. I'm not so good at working without books surrounding me or my cat purring next to me. Environment really really matters when it comes t me producing anything of value.

Category: my life

Tags: creativity workspace

   

Posted by zephoria at 4:39 PM | Comments (14) | TrackBack (0)

April 13, 2008

After the storm...

After deciding that I couldn't go to New Orleans for V-Day because of my dissertation, I started having pangs of regret. At the last moment, I called up my former colleagues and told them that I bought a last minute flight and would fly down there to be at their beck and call. I realized that I would forever hate myself for failing to go help in New Orleans.

I didn't go to New Orleans to sit and watch the talks and enjoy the food. This is probably a good thing since I didn't see a single talk or eat a single beignet or poboy. I landed at midnight and began working at 1AM. I worked 20 hour days for the next two days, eating whatever food ended up in my hands by accident. I worked my ass off and, even though I'm sore and emotionally exhausted, I don't regret one minute of it.

V-Day's 10th Anniversary was something special. I don't even know where to begin. There were the dozens of international activists that we flew in to have them tell their stories, activists we had spotlighted over the years - women from Bosnia, Iraq, Afghanistan, Philippines, Kenya, etc. Next year, our spotlight will be the Democratic Republic of Congo and with us this year was Dr. Mukwege from the Congo. He is part of the V-Men movement and was given an award for his work. He reconstructs women's vaginas after they've been brutally torn to pieces while being raped during war. He has reconstructed hundreds of women and his work never ends.

We helped 1200 women who were victims of Katrina return to New Orleans for the first time since the storm. On the first morning, we stood in a line and hugged them and welcomed them. Thus began the tears. And oh the stories, dear god the stories. There were also thousands more women, Katrina Warriors who came to the Super Dome for the event. Many had unbelievably dreadful stories of what it was like to live in the Super Dome after the storm. After the storm... After the storm... So many sentences began with "after the storm." What followed moved me in every which way and then some. Heartwarming stories of neighbors working together. Terrifying stories of being stopped from leaving New Orleans or the Super Dome by police officers and military. Personal stories about losing loved ones. A story of a dog rescued and then the rescuer refusing to give her back to her owner. Frustrating stories about FEMA. Oh, FEMA. No one had a single nice thing to say about FEMA. Asking local women about FEMA was kinda like asking a teacher about NCLB. Anger seethes through every pour.

The focus of this V-Day was obviously the women of the gulf south. The Super Dome was transformed to be a positive space for these women. Women of the Gulf South were treated to massages, aromatherapy, beauty treatments, yoga, and health services. All for free. Thousands and thousands of women showed up.

I played beck and call girl, doing what was needed whenever it was needed. I shuttled things from one place to another, tracked down activists, helped women get services. I held the hands of women who needed to be heard, hugged women who were in tears and needed to be validated, and even stood and took it when women needed to yell at me out of frustration. Many of these women needed to hear that someone cared. Many were at their wit's end. The stories of suicide in New Orleans continue. The horror stories of bankruptcy and loss, alienation and disease continue. The victims of Katrina feel abandoned. And for good reason. As a nation, we have abandoned them. And it breaks my soul into pieces. I am embarrassed by my country, by our willingness to let this situation go untreated.

My friend I.S. keeps telling me that things down there are really bad, still really bad. I only half believed her. I mean, I heard it but I didn't get it. On my way to the airport, a taxi driver drove me around town, including to where the levees broke. He used to work as an engineer in the chemical plant. It hasn't reopened so he now drives a cab. He showed me how bad things still were, told me stories. There's still spray-paint on the houses marking the dead. The mold is still visible and you can see through houses, or what was once a house and is now a crumbled shadow of a house. There are people who have rebuilt but most of their neighbors haven't, creating a truly eerie feeling around there, especially in the rich neighborhood right under where the levee broke. The taxi driver explained how they patched the levee in a way that was strong and secure; he then showed me the difference. But next he sighed, pointing out that the levee is bound to break at a new point with the next storm. Until the levee is rebuilt, it's going to keep on happening. It could be fixed, but well, the government...

On the first evening of the event, we showcased a play called "Swimming Upstream" by a group of local New Orleans' writers about what it was like to live through Katrina. All true stories. Powerful, painful. Stories of neighbors, stories of friends... positive and horrifying. Once again, not a single nice thing to say about the government. I started getting a picture of just how corrupt and fucked up FEMA really was.

The second night was a production of The Vagina Monologues. After helping out backstage until curtain, I finally got a moment to sit down. I watched the show. I cried and I cried and I cried. The new pieces were all so amazing. And the gift to the Congo Doctor. And the local gospel choir. And then there was the final monologue... It was supposed to be played by Oprah but she was sick. It didn't matter though because the woman who played it was far better than Oprah. The piece was called "Hey Miss Pat" and it was performed by Liz Mikel, a young actress Eve met in her travels. The piece was about an older New Orleans woman who cooked for all of her neighbors. It was telling the story of Katrina from the POV of someone who prided herself in taking care of her community... whose community was gone because of Katrina. It was heart-wrenching and Mikel had all of us in tears. Then, when it ended, Eve Ensler got on stage to thank Mikel. And then she told the audience that a special guest was here tonite - the real Miss Pat. Mikel gasped and said, "Oh my Lord!" before bursting out in tears, bringing the audience with her as the real Miss Pat came up on stage to hug her. What it was like at that moment...

I don't have the language to capture the sheer energy of the women involved with and participating in the V-Day events this year. All I can say is that the event moved me more than I've been moved in a long, long time. And I am so grateful to have been able to help. And I'm so grateful to be a part of V-Day. Until the violence stops.

Category: my life

Tags: v-day katrina neworleans rape violence women

   

Posted by zephoria at 10:57 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

April 6, 2008

does work/life balance exist?

Reading the NYTimes over my Puffins (yes, I failed at staving off that addiction), I noticed this article: In Web World of 24/7 Stress, Writers Blog Till They Drop. The article is painfully sensationalist and fails to really highlight the core issue regarding blog culture: bloggers do it cuz they wanna and cuz they lurve it. By and large, blogging is part of geek culture. Just like those who code, bloggers go late into the night doing their thing out of passion. Personally, my health improved when I switched from coding to blogging. I no longer down 2 2-liter bottles of Mt. Dew every day. I now have a gym membership and visit semi-often. And if you think that I'm pale now...

Underneath the sensationalism, there's a core point here: those who are passionate about what they do do it to extremes. And when there's the perception of a race (even if it's self-imposed), it's far too easy to take the extremes over the edge. I certainly spent my 20s running around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying not to miss a single thing. It wasn't for my blog per say - it was for "research." I had to know everything the moment that it happened and I followed web developments like a hawk. My blog turned into the space where I spewed all of my pent-up energy out.

I can't help but wonder if all of this is leading us down a dangerous path. The young and highly motivated turn into self-competing workaholics, often fueled by stimulants - legal (e.g., coffee), illegal (e.g., cocaine), and prescription (e.g., Provigil). Older folks and those who want to "have a life" look at this insanity with horror and back quietly away trying not to startled the hopped up beasts.

This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't playing into professional culture more broadly. Increasingly, only those bent on workaholism are valued as employees. Those who don't push it to extremes are disregarded as lazy in many industries. There is pressure to work 24/7 and there are plenty of folks who take this seriously, even if it's not in their best interests let alone the rest of society's. I get so ravingly mad at my (primarily male) colleagues who work 14 hour days even though they have small children that they never see. It's one thing to be a workaholic as a single 20-something; it's another thing to be a workaholic as a parent. I get to see the flipside of that one - teens starved for attention, desperate to please in the hopes of being given attention and validation.

The problem is that the corporate world values workaholism. Those who do pull away from 24/7 lifestyles "because they're getting older" find that there is huge ageism in many sectors of American business. If you can't work 24/7, you aren't getting that promotion. Fuck your kids, fuck your family, fuck your life. That ain't so good for any of us and it seems like a recipe for disaster. It's one thing to get paid many millions of dollars as a sports star, knowing that you'll burn out by the end of your 20s and can then "retire." It's another thing to get paid an upper middle class wage only to burn out with no savings.

Of course, I'm saying this from the POV of a workaholic who is trying to ween her way off of that lifestyle. Or rather, is hoping to ween her way off of that lifestyle once the dissertation is over. And who realizes that she's said that at every stage like an addict - I'll do it when XYZ. But still, I can't help but wonder - is it possible to really be in the flow and have work/life balance? Or will I find that, at the end of the day, I have to walk away from my work culture to have a life?

Category: my life

Tags: workaholic blogging balance

   

Posted by zephoria at 2:58 PM | Comments (26) | TrackBack (0)

March 31, 2008

practicing the word 'no'

The next 6 weeks are going to be brutal. There are not enough hours in the day to do what I need to do. I'm in the throes of my dissertation and the MacArthur write-up. I'm working hard to cancel and push aside everything else. Draft #1 of my dissertation needs to be done by May. It needs to be cleaned up, packaged, processed, and signed by the end of summer. I will be a little more flex during the summer, but I will still be pretty wack until this is out the door.

Please accept my apologies if I say no to you, if I don't respond, or if I'm otherwise absent. My blogging will probably be sporadic and weird. I'm not reading blogs; I'm barely reading email. My apologies to my friends, to the press, to academics, to everyone. I need to prioritize me for a bit (and not in any fun kinda way since I have no life).

Most of you know by now that I've been getting more and more hibernatory, so this probably isn't a surprise. But I wanted to put it out there, visible and public, cuz I feel uber bad at the number of people I'm having to say no to. Don't take it personally. Think of me as on vacation. Only I won't come back refreshed.. Hmm...

Ebbs and flows, ebbs and flows...

(Those wishing me to speak at XYZ in the fall, please contact my agent.)

Category: my life

   

Posted by zephoria at 9:21 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)

V-Day 10th Anniversary

Ten years ago, V-Day began with a massive Madison Square Garden production of "The Vagina Monologues." As a non-profit, the goal of V-Day was to work with artists and activists everywhere towards a goal of ending violence against women and girls everywhere. Ten years ago, I got involved with V-Day. I was one of the first college organizers. I met Eve Ensler in the fall of 1998 and produced Brown University's production of TVM in February 1999. I continued on to produce another production in February 2000, along with a Tracy Chapman concert (the one that cost me on-time graduation).

Y'all know me. I couldn't just do my own production... I ended up working to build networks of all of the college students doing productions. I created mailing lists for people who had never been on mailing lists. I began building an online community, volunteering long hours to make sure that people could share information and experiences. This was before most folks had bought into the Internet. After three years of volunteering, I worked full-time for 1.5 years to build out an intranet and online community for organizers around the world. Since then, I've gone back to volunteering, mostly so I could focus on my research.

V-Day is celebrating its 10th Anniversary with a large-scale production of "The Vagina Monologues" and various accompanying events. These will take place April 11-12 in New Orleans. Those involved in the events include Eve Ensler, Jane Fonda, Orpah Winfrey, Calpernia Addams, Faith Hill, Salma Hayek, Glenn Close, Jennifer Hudson, and many others. It will be an unbelievable and unforgettable event. And it is absolutely amazing to think of how much has been done in the last 10 years. Hell, at the very least, I expect that most of you have at least heard of "The Vagina Monologues." Did you know that every single production donates its proceeds to ending violence against women and girls?

If you are unable to attend the celebration, can I ask you to consider donating to V-Day? What we do with that money is pretty radical and life-changing. TVM productions raise money for their local projects - domestic violence shelters, anti-rape education in local schools, etc. The money donated to the organization directly is used for large-scale projects. We helped get women from Afghanistan to Germany so that women would be included in the Constitution. We funded the creation of a school in Kenya for girls who chose to run away from home rather than go under the knife. We've funded safe houses on the Pine Ridge Reservation and in Cairo. We've run educational, media, and PSA campaigns working to change the state of things. While we've done some amazing things, there are still so many more things to do. We can change the world, but we need your help.

V-Day has been one of the most important things that I've done. I cannot say enough nice things about the organization, the people, or the energy. I also cannot believe that it's been ten years. Congratulations V-Day!

Category: my life

Tags: vday activism

   

Posted by zephoria at 12:10 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)