July 5, 2005

ready... aim... fire! (answer to Ross)

In the questions entry, Ross jokingly asked for me to summarize the period in which i was gone. I actually think that everything about humanity can be summed up in the first event that i heard about upon returning.

On July 4th, a NASA projectile successfully intersected with a comet - a "smashing" success. A Russian astrologer became hysterical.

Can't you just see it? A bunch of NASA boys sitting around stoned off the gourd imagining what they could do for fun. "Dude, i know! Let's shoot the moon." "No, dude. That's too easy. We need to shoot something moving." "Dude! I know dude! A comet! Let's shoot a comet!" "Dude!!!"

The result? Probes and projectiles engaged in "deep impact" conveniently placed in the newspaper next to the latest news on "deep throat." And really, probe or no probe, it's basically an aiming mission, the million dollar version of the bulls-eye target practice in boys' bathrooms. As my friend at NASA pointed out, the impact is equivalent to throwing a penny at a 16-wheeler. And can't you just see the NASA dudes' faces when a Russian woman started screaming about the deformation of her horoscope? "But can't you seeeeeee? Nature is defenseless against your masculine ejaculations!"

Some things never change but they do continue to amuse.

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Posted by zephoria at July 5, 2005 10:08 AM | TrackBack