ok. so i went out last nite to celebrate a friend’s birthday. just like last week, the guest of honor got to choose the dancing environment and she chose salsa (she is, afterall, from Brazil). i was more than psyched to try to learn this dancing, and there was to be a class beforehand to teach us all. i was also told that i would need to dress up a bit to get in and i decided to go girly for her and another friend. boy did i feel uncomfortable. usually, when i do girly, it’s not a big deal that i still walk like a boy and have pink hair and whatever. but not at this place. it was overtly gendered – men had to have collars to get in, women were a bit more relaxed, but the only girls in pants were in our group and everyone at the bar was wearing super high feminine clothing. the place was full of airs. there was only one way to dance (and i didn’t know how to dance in the “correct” way and learning made me feel stupid and stared at). sure, my friends were there, and they were fabulous – such sweethearts. but i just couldn’t get comfortable in a place like that..

i really do despise places that regulate one’s fashion so vigilantly, both by kicking people out for “inappropriate clothing” and by social status/glares. this isn’t just a straight thing. i remember going to hear a band this summer with a friend. it was a punk dyke thing and everyone dressed for the occasion – in almost matching punk dyke clothing. my poor friend, such a high femme, was the only girl in a dress and it was obvious that she was “weird.”

clothing can be so limiting. sure, it conveys the groups you associate with, but at the same time, when those groups require you to wear that gear to “fit in” alternative clothing becomes restricting. and what is the point of that? i find it just all too depressing.