well, i am back at home after some fun and adventure in san francisco. i went there to be with my (now ex) partner and in many ways it was a good thing but in other ways, i could have done without the experience.

the thing is that i still adore my ex, at least in my head… there is just this tension between us and it doesn’t feel quite right. i have yet to figure out how to express the emotions that i am having with regard to this situation and it is kinda frustrating that way; i just want to understand what the fuck is going on and why i feel like i do. doesn’t make sense does it? sure as hell doesn’t for me…

but the actual trip was quite fun and silly.. i spent time shopping (always fun) and now have some mighty kickass sex toys! plus a few good clothes. i took a friend drag shopping and that was kickass. plus, i got my ex a suit at macy’s.. suit shopping is cool! i also spent a great deal of time with a friend of yore. we applied to graduate school together and i sure as hell hope that we manage to get in- it would just be too fucking cool…

i did come back home early though, mostly because of work but also because it was just strange to be there and a part of this life that was not mine. that is quite peculiar.. i don’t feel _comfortable_ with the situation. erg.

i did have an amazing interview with microsquish. who would have guessed?? it was the best interview i have ever had.. i got to design microsoft word for kids in the interview and it was fun!

erg.. mental confusion.