October 28, 1997

for the last few days, one thought has been on my mind- "kill your parents." it was just one of the words said at a dharma talk two weeks ago... i have no idea how to kill my mother. the monk was 100% right though- i am entirely attached to my mother. i had not thought about it before that talk but it is so true and i have no idea how to stop it.
it is a pretty uncomfortable battle. i love my mother and she me. we have a very close bond. she does not understand many of my decisions and we argue thru everything. she is often the first person that i contact when i need to talk thru something with someone. and she depends on me. it is definitely mutual dependence.

i am also attached to her monetarily- i am in college and i don't have the money to fund my way so she does so willingly but requires certain things of me because of it.

how do i kill my mother?

Category: meditations

Posted by zephoria at October 28, 1997 10:33 PM | TrackBack